


Two Worlds Collide

by Escape_Artist



Category: 30 Seconds to Mars, Suicide Squad (2016)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-13
Updated: 2016-11-16
Packaged: 2018-06-02 03:13:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 33
Words: 56,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6548350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Escape_Artist/pseuds/Escape_Artist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mandy is a typical girl who just got the job of her dreams. She meets Jared Leto and falls. Hard. But will his Method Acting drive her away or bring her closer? Is she falling for Jared or The Joker? Or both?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. What I Got

Chapter One: What I Got

I woke up with a splitting headache. I made the horrible decision to go out with my roommate, Natalie and her boyfriend Vince. Of course, I had way too many drinks and now I pay the price. Today of all days is when I decide it is a good idea for a hangover. Today was my first day of a gig I booked as a cast assistant for one whole year. In the life of a media production assistant, booking a job that lasts an entire year is good news. Most of the jobs I had taken in the past were only months at a time which doesn’t help with paying rent on a regular basis. The fact I even got this gig was a miracle. I thought back to the phone call I got from my friend Ricky.

“Ugh, Hello???” I said groggily opening my eyes.  
“Mandy dear, are you still asleep? I know we just wrapped but for goodness sake its 5 o’clock at night!” Ricky exclaimed. He was the costume designer for the feature we just wrapped.  
“Yes, but I am up now. What’s up? What time did you leave the wrap party last night? I didn’t even see you leave.” I said pulling my pajama pants on.  
“Yeah well, you seemed um, preoccupied with the hot lighting guy.” Ricky laughed.  
“Nothing happened. He smells bad.” I said yanking my toothbrush out of its holder while trying to hold my phone up to my hear.  
“So listen, I called because I have a friend of a friend who is looking for a superstar on set assistant. It’s a year-long gig; would you be interested in committing to something like that?” Ricky said with a stern voice. He knew me too well.  
“Yes! Absolutely!” I said with toothpaste in my mouth.  
“Really?! Great! I am actually sort of surprised…” he said hesitantly.  
“Why is that?” I said spitting into the sink.  
“Well, you hate commitment. Three really cute guys asked you out in the past three months and you declined every single one.” Ricky said.  
“Well a job and a guy are totally different.” I said as I walked into the kitchen and pulled out a water bottle of the fridge.  
“Uh huh. So anyway, the head P.A wants to meet with you tomorrow morning, are you able?” He said.  
“Yeah, do you know anything about the production? Who is the production company? How much does it pay?” I said.  
“Well, it’s Warner Brothers…” he said with a smile in his voice.  
“Wait WHAT? Warner Brothers?! How?! I thought they only hired within!” I exclaimed, nearly dropping my water.  
“I know I know but apparently this cast is VERY big and very A list. He wants the best and I just so happen to be dating his brother so just be thankful. The film is called ‘Suicide Squad’. It’s supposed to be a comic book movie, I have never heard of it.” He said.  
“Oh I have. My brother is big into comics. Okay awesome! Thank you so much Ricky. I owe you one. When and where does this guy want to meet me? And what is his name?” I said turning on the shower.  
“His name is Lee and he wants to meet you at Starbucks on Santa Monica at 9am. That work?” Ricky said.  
“Yes! I will be there.” I said smiling.  
“Okay go get em’ girly and let me know more deets about the film when you get a chance!” Ricky said.  
“I will! Bye!” I said smiling. I never did get an answer on the pay…

That was a month ago. Today was the biggest and best thing to happen in my entire career. I had moved out to Los Angeles from Chicago, Illinois when I was 22. I was fresh out of college with very little money and absolutely zero reputation in Hollywood. I was lucky enough to have worked my way up, now being 28. I started with low budget films and somehow managed to get a decent resume. I was finally running with the big leagues. The film was being shot in Toronto, Canada but my flight wasn’t for another 24 hours. For now, I had to attend the Production Meeting at the Warner Bros lot.  
I put on my washed out skinny jeans and my leather over the knee black boots. I put on a long and tight fitting silk tank top, with my leather jacket in case it got chilly. I peaked in my roommate’s room and saw that she and Vince were still passed out. I smiled and closed the door. I had already said my goodbyes in case I didn’t see them before I left for Toronto. I was still keeping my room and paying rent for it while I was gone for the year. I intended on at least coming back a couple times a month. I didn’t have time for pets or boyfriends so I was in the clear with that.  
I grabbed my keys and headed out the door. While I was sitting through Los Angeles traffic, I thought about what was in store. I didn’t know much about the film as it was still technically in pre-production but I did know I would be working with some pretty high up there actors. I had already met David Ayer, the director. He was very nice and personable. Lee my boss was also very nice, but very quiet. He hadn’t given me much to go on, except that whoever they were placing me with was going to be very demanding. He also told me my assigned actor was a method actor so it could get a little awkward. Today is when I meet with Lee and the rest of the production team. I pulled into the WB lot and showed them my badge; they scanned it and let me through. I had only been here a hand full of times but never for an actual job.  
I got to the parking lot in front of the building Lee told me to go to and instantly I got butterflies. This was it. It was my time to shine.


	2. Horizons

Chapter 2: Horizons

I walked into the giant conference room and immediately all eyes were on me. I was ten minutes early and still everyone beat me there. I immediately saw Lee look up and smile. 

“Everyone this is Mandy Morrison. She will be assisting Mr. Leto on set. Any communications are to be directed through her first per Mr. Leto’s request. She is your life line to him, so be nice to her.” He said as everyone laughed. I waved across the room with a shy smile. I never thought of myself as attractive. I was super short, barely 5’4. I was 123 lbs and long dark hair. Sure it sounds good on paper, but I had flaws. 

I took a seat next to Lee and looked around the room. 

“Mandy, this is Kara. Kara will be assisting Mr. Smith.” He said pointing to his left. I stretched my hand behind him and gave her a shake.

“Good to meet you Mandy.” She said warmly. She had a sweet smile and bright blonde pixie hair. 

“Same here Kara.” I said back. 

“Mandy this is Jeff, he will be assisting Ms. Robbie and Mr. Kinnaman.” Lee pointed to the tall and lanky gentleman to my right. I shook his hand with a smile. Everyone else in the room was up talking and grabbing drinks and snacks they had provided. Oh the life of Hollywood. They had sushi and mineral water provided for us. 

I chatted with everyone and bit and instantly felt like this would be my family for the next year. Everyone on the team was so excited. We had quite a few comic book fans which was great, because then they knew the importance of making the film perfect. 

“So how long have you been assisting A listers, Mandy?” Scott, one of the sound guys asked me. 

“Oh about two years. I have been assisting for six but didn’t work my way up until recently.” I said taking a sip of my drink.

“Nice, I can’t believe you get to work with Leto! Lucky.” Chris said, he was one of the PA’s. 

“Eh, I wouldn’t say lucky just yet! I hear he’s a pretty intense method actor.” Scott said with a wide grin. 

“Oh really? I don’t know much about the guy. I’ve seen a lot of his work and he is a phenomenal actor for sure. Lee did tell me that he is already in Joker mode and is not really speaking to the rest of the cast much.” I said.

“Yep, that sounds like Jared Leto! He might get a little demanding at times, but other than that I hear he’s a pretty cool dude.” Chris said while checking his phone.

“Yeah, but that is what I am getting paid the big bucks for.” I said smiling. I really was getting paid the big bucks. Lee already cut me a check for 20K. I would get another 30K after we wrapped. That was more than I made last year. 

After our pre-production party, I said goodbye to everyone and Lee walked Kara and myself to our cars. 

“You ladies get some sleep. You’re gonna need it! We will have a car meet you guys at the airport in Toronto tomorrow, here are your boarding passes. I made sure you guys are sitting together. Now, our cast won’t be getting here until Friday so we have a few days to get prepped for them. Jared’s schedule will be a tad different. He will pretty much only be on set at night, with just a few scenes during the day. Will is going to be on set pretty much 24/7. So Kara, get ready for that. Mandy, I think Jared wanted to set up a time for you two to get acquainted when he gets in so be ready Friday night because he is a spur of the moment type of guy.” Lee said while handing me my boarding pass and hotel information. I still couldn’t believe I would be staying in a hotel for a whole year. Granted, it was being reimbursed monthly but still. 

“Okay thank you Lee! We will see you tomorrow!” I said while getting my car keys out. Lee walked away and it was just Kara and myself.

“What room did you get?” Kara said peeking at my itinerary. 

“I am on the 15th floor, room 1503.” I said checking the paper. 

“Sweet! I am 1504! Hotel buddies!” She said laughing. 

“Right?! I am so excited to work with you Kara. I will admit I am a tad nervous after talking with Scott and Chris. They say Leto is a little high maintenance.” I said looking down.

“Eh, he’s not that bad. I’ve worked with him before.” She said checking her phone.

“You have?! What was he like?” I asked.

“It depends. I worked with him for Requiem for a Dream and Dallas Buyers Club. It depends on the role because he is a method actor. You aren’t really dealing with Jared, you’re dealing with his character. Since he will be portraying a vicious murdering psychopath, i’d say you’ll have your work cut out for you.” She laughed. “But really, I wouldn’t worry. It’s only a year long gig and David Ayer is a really laid back guy. With the assistants anyway.” She continued. 

“I guess we will see. Well, I am gonna go home and catch some sleep. See you bright and early tomorrow!” I said waving goodbye. She waved and said her goodbyes while unlocking her car. 

I got home that night and my roommate was at work. Natalie was a bartender at a very well known Hollywood nightclub so she was never home at night. I dialed my brothers cell. He was going to shit when I told him about the job.

“What’s up shithead?” He said on the other line. It was all out of love with us. 

“Hey dickwad. So guess who I will be assisting on the Suicide set…”I said barely containing the excitement. 

“Who?” He said anxiously. 

“Jared Leto, who will be playing none other than The Joker!” I squealed. 

“NO FUCKING WAY! GOD I am so jealous! He’s also the lead singer of Tyra’s favorite band, did you know that?” He said. Tyra was Matt’s long time girlfriend. Matt was two years older than me and so we basically grew up as best buds. Matt and Tyra had been together since high school. I liked her,she kept him in line. My mom and dad liked her too. I liked having Tyra in our family because then my mom would bug her about grandkids instead of me. 

“No I didn’t know that, what’s the band called?” I asked getting on my Mac. 

“30 seconds to Mars. They are actually pretty good.” He said. As I looked up the band, I heard him telling Tyra in the background who I would be working for. I heard her scream bloody murder then I heard her grab the phone.

“Mandy, you HAVE to get me an autograph. I will pay you a dollar.” She said with excitement. 

“Keep the dollar, dear. I will do my best. I can’t promise anything though.” I said looking at band pictures. Whoa, I didn’t realize how attractive this guy actually was. I had seen most of his films but he always portrayed a messed up character of some sort. I scrolled through pictures and saw him with his long brown hair and scruffy face. Damn. 

“Alrighty, well I will call you guys this weekend. Love you both.” I said not even waiting for a response. I was too entranced. I shut my laptop and got into bed. A big year was starting soon.


	3. The Fantasy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise he's in this one. ;)

Chapter 3: The Fantasy

I woke up to my phone playing an annoying alarm. I has been asking myself for months why I had it set to that. It was 4am. The City of Angels was probably just now going to sleep. I grabbed my bags and headed out the door. I turned around to take one last glance at my apartment. I had so much fun with Natalie. I started to get a little sad but remembered I would see her soon. My Uber was right on time. Natalie had promised to drive my car every so often. I was renting a car on the studio’s dime in Canada. 

I got to LAX and met up with Kara and Jeff. We went through customs and still had some time to kill before our flight took off. We got some coffee and waited. We were all very quite considering the hour. We started boarding and I started to get nervous. I wasn’t scared of planes. I was scared because I had no idea what I was getting into. I had never assisted a method actor before. 

The flight went smoothly and the car was waiting for us at Toronto Pearson Airport. We were dropped off at the Royal York hotel and Kara got a text as we were checking in. 

“Guys, Lee says Ayer wants to meet with us. I guess he wants to brief us before we meet our cast. He said to be at the Pinewood Studio in an hour.” She said as we headed towards the elevators. Jeff and I nodded. We reached our floor finally. 

“Alright, I will meet you guys in the lobby in half an hour. I called a car to meet us out front.” I said as I put in my room key card. They nodded and I immediately set my stuff by the desk. The room was spacey. Which was nice, I was going to be staying here for a year. I changed into skinny jeans and a flowy black tank top. I shoved on my doc martin boots that went up to calves. I left the room and headed to the lobby. Jeff smiled and waved. 

“Hey, Kara is on her way. You ready for this?” He said pushing his glasses up on his nose. 

“Yeah, I have been ready for this since I moved out to LA.” I laughed. 

“I know right?” He said and shoved his hands in his pockets. Kara came down and her blonde pixie cut was spiked. 

“Okay ready?” She said walking towards the revolving doors. We got into the black SUV and squeezed in. 

The meeting with David was interesting. He filled us in on what we could do and what we couldn’t. For example, Leto apparently has to know where I am at all times in case he needs me. Will Smith requests that Kara keep an eye on the tabloids for stories on his kids. It sounded like Jeff didn’t have much to worry about with Margot Robbie and Joel Kinnaman. He got the easy ones. 

Tomorrow was when we met our people. David warned me that they were costume testing Leto tomorrow so I would most likely be meeting The Joker. It was so strange how the directors and producers were talking about this guy like he actually WAS The Joker. That’s hardcore method acting. 

__________________________________________________________________  
THE NEXT DAY

I was pulled aside by Lee the second I got to the studio. 

“Okay Jared is in his trailer. He wants to meet with you privately. So get in there.” He said as he pointed to a giant trailer to his left. I could see JARED LETO reading across the front door. I walked up the trailer steps and knocked once. The door opened and I see a skinny blonde open the door. 

“Oh hi you must be Mandy, I’m Shayla. I’m Jared’s personal assistant.” She said with a warm smile. 

“Hi, Shayla nice to meet you.” I said smiling back. 

“Okay so, I will be handling his personal matters mostly in L.A. so if you have any questions just call my cell. I will be going back and forth from here to L.A. a lot. Here is my card. Don’t hesitate if you need anything. I am actually on my way out now and I won’t be back til next month.” She said while pulling her bag on her shoulder. She looked to her left.

“Jared, I am leaving. Mandy is here. Do you need more coffee before I take off?” She asked. I didn’t hear anything so I assume he shook his head no. 

“Okay then, have fun!” She said to me as we traded places. I walked in and saw him. He was leaning against the door frame of the bedroom in the trailer. He had bright purple sweatpants on, no shirt and bright green hair. He looked up from his phone and I saw the makeup. Bright red lipstick, dark black circles under his eyes. He had tattoos all over him and I could tell only about 25% of them were real.  
I walked up to him slowly. He did look a tad intimidating. He didn’t move, just his eyes. He looked me up and down and my heart skipped a beat. 

“Hi Mr. Leto, I’m Mandy.” I said taking my messenger bag off around me. 

“I know who you are. And it’s Jared.” He said as he watched my every move. When he spoke, he sounded raspy. I think this was The Joker talking. I set my bag down and took out my phone. 

“Okay then. So we have you testing out costume design with Kate today. How do you feel about this one?” I said looking up. So far, every time I would look at him, my heart fluttered. It was a strange feeling. 

“It’s fine. I like being barefoot.” He said with zero sarcasm. He started texting on his phone and I started taking notes. 

“Okay good, you want to head over to production? Kate wants to meet with us now and see if she likes it.” I asked. 

“Sure. How long should it take?” He asked staring at me intently. 

“Not long. It’s really just testing for now. Margot is the one they are unsure about. I guess Harley Quinn has a lot of costumes available. The Joker, they have their hearts set on a few. The next test is the suit.” I said as he started walking towards me. He got inches away from my face and I froze. He looked right into my eyes and reached around me to grab his phone charger on the shelf behind me. His forearm brushed against my left breast and I thought I was going to pass out from the shiver it gave me. This guy had no idea what personal space was. Or maybe he did and The Joker didn’t. 

“Oooh, fancy.” He said giggling in a sinister tone. I laughed a nervous laugh as he backed up a step.

“Yeah. Very. You ready?” I asked putting my phone in my back pocket. Rule #1 of assisting on set, always have your phone on you. If you have to get it surgically attached to you, do it. I grabbed my bag and hung it around me. I grabbed the black long cloak hanging up and helped him into it.

“Is this really necessary?” He said putting his arms in the sleeves. 

“Yes. Paparazzi is everywhere out there and I am under strict instructions to keep you as hidden as possible. You are the big mystery for this film.” I said smiling. 

“I feel so special.” He said as he opened the trailer door. He didn’t hold the door open for me which I didn’t expect. I was working for him, we weren’t on a date. 

We worked our way over to the set and I saw Kate. Jared kept his hood over his head but the paps still knew it was him. They flashed their cameras and I ran in front of him trying to block their view. 

“Hi Kate, I come bearing The Joker.” I said with a smile. I had met Kate during one of our meetings in Los Angeles. She was very nice and very upbeat. Jared let a small smile show. Kate clapped her hands in excitement and David was with her. 

“Oh wow, it looks amazing! I really like this one. Especially for pub shots. We could add in the purple trench for effect.” David said as Kate circled Jared. 

“Yeah this is definitely a keeper. Jared what do you think?” she said examining him. 

“Yeah it works.” He said. I wondered if he was always this quiet. He took off the cloak and showed off that physique of his. My heart fluttered again. Just as we were going to discuss the suit, Margot and Jeff walked up. Margot was in a red and black leotard. I knew this was the costume from the original comic series. She looked genuinely uncomfortable. She was even prettier in person. 

“Ah, Margot. Just the woman I wanted to see.” Kate said while examining Margot’s costume. David and Kate did not look pleased. Some of the producers had come over to join. 

“I don’t like it. I like the red and blue better.” David said. Kate nodded in agreement. 

“Yeah and it is not comfy. The red and blue was fine.” Margot said while running her hands over her costume. She looked up and noticed me. She smiled and reached her hand out.

“Hi i’m Margot. You must be Mandy.” Margot said sweetly in her accent. 

“Yes, so nice to meet you.” I said shaking her hand. 

“Are you two the only ones being tested today? I can’t remember.” David said looking at Jeff and Kate. 

“Yeah, everyone else has been done.” Kate said while measuring Margot. 

“Okay. Jared do me a favor and put on the suit. We want five buttons undone on the top.” David said while Kate handed me the suit hung up in a bag. Jared nodded and grabbed my hand and led me to the trailer. We walked in and he went to the fridge and grabbed a Smart Water. 

“Okay here’s this, don’t forget five buttons undone.” I handed him the suit and shoes. He took them from me and started towards the back bedroom. 

“You know I might need some help.” He winked and flashed that silver smile at me. 

“Are you being serious?” I said smiling. I didn’t mind the occasional flirting. 

“Does it look like i’m being serious?” He said still grinning. 

“Well, no.” I said laughing. 

“Okay then. Give me a minute.” He said as he shut the door. My heart was racing. What the hell? I had worked with hot stars before but never got this antsy. I pulled my phone out and I had three texts. 

KARA- So how is he?

MOM- Hi honey. Hope all is going good in Canada. Let me know if you are coming home for your birthday in June. Love you xo

NATALIE- You get to work with Jared LETO?! You have to fuck him for me. 

I shook my head. Good Lord. 

Jared came out pretty quick. He had a crimson red dress shirt on unbuttoned at the top with a silver suit. Wow. 

“Nice.” I breathed out slowly. He heard me and looked up. He grinned as he fixed his collar. 

“Right back at ya.” He said still grinning. I snapped out of it realizing I said “nice” outloud. 

This next year was going to be a challenge.


	4. Hurricane

Chapter 4: Hurricane

The next couple weeks were interesting to say the least. I had met the entire cast at this point and they were great. It was a bit challenging considering Jared did not like being around the rest of the cast. We had talked about it and he said he cannot stay in character when he surrounded by people who aren’t method acting. 

We had started principle photography everyone was talking about having a launch party for the cast and crew this coming Friday. 

“Are you coming to the launch party this Friday? I know you don’t like being around everyone but it might be good to be Jared for a night.” I said hanging up his Joker get up. He was in the bathroom washing his face then he came out with a towel hanging on his neck. 

“I told you, it’s too risky.” He said running his hand over his mouth. 

“Well I am going, is that okay with you?” I asked hesitantly. He eyed me for a moment. Like he wanted to say no. But why?

“I guess. You haven’t taken the night off since we started. Just keep your phone on you in case I need you.” He said taking his grill out of his mouth. I nodded and handed him a Smart Water, cold. He didn’t like room temperature water. I was learning everything about him very quick. It was also helpful considering I had Kara who had worked with him before and Shayla who knew him better than anyone. Jared hadn’t talked to me much other than the obvious work talk. He had flirted a bit but I was told to expect that. I had to admit, him dressed up as The Joker was very distracting. 

“Okay we have one more scene to shoot tonight. Strip Club scene #27. It’s gonna be you and Margot mostly. We have to wrap somewhat early tonight because Margot has to fly to NYC for a meeting.” I said looking at my phone. I look up and Jared is in nothing. This happened quite often. I honestly couldn’t tell if it was Jared who didn’t care or The Joker. It got very confusing at times trying to figure out who I was dealing with at that moment. He dressed in his suit and I heard a knock at the door. It was Teresa one of the makeup artists. She didn’t look pleased when I let her in and Jared had taken off his makeup in full. She gave me a look of displeasure and I shrugged at her. 

“Sorry, he hates the makeup. He has to take it off in between takes and we don’t film again until tonight at 11pm.” I said backing him up. I knew he heard us. 

“Yeah, yeah. I guess I can come back later. It’s only 7pm now. I will be here around 9:30pm. Make sure he’s here when I get back.” She said as I nodded my head. She exited the trailer and I turned to face him. 

“Okay you’ve got some time to kill.” I said sitting down at the counter.  
“You mean WE have some time to kill.” He said smirking. Before I could think, he grabbed me by the hand and was dragging me around the studio lot. His bodyguard Troy was following us and as we ran he just took baby steps. The guy was a giant. 

“Jared where are we going?” I said laughing. 

“We are getting food. I am starving and I know you gotta be hungry. I don’t think I have seen you eat once.” he said putting his beanie on to cover the bright green hair. He had on a Sublime t-shirt with jeans. I had my typical skinny jeans, docs and a plaid blue and white collared long sleeve shirt. 

“I am unaware of any vegetarian joints around here.” I said looking down and still grasping his hand. 

“Wait, you’re a vegetarian too??” He asked in surprise. 

“Yeah. I have been since I was a kid. You are too? That’s awesome.” I said smiling. I had to admit, I DID know he was a vegetarian. He continued to lead the way and led me to his car. He opened the car door for me as I slid in. I was dealing with Jared tonight, not Mr. J. Troy got in the back seat. 

“I know a place. It’s buried in Toronto and not many people know about it but it’s just for people like us.” He flashed a breathtaking smile. I smiled back. Wait, was this date? I honestly couldn’t tell with him. This was the most he had talked to me about not work in the two weeks I knew him. 

This place was only about 5 minutes away which was convenient. I couldn’t have him late to set tonight, not that they could start without him. He pulled to the side of building and opened my door for me and held his out for me. Wow. This was weirding me out in the best way. 

“It looks closed.” I said disappointed. 

“It’s not, trust me. Come on let’s go.” He held his arm out for me as I linked mine into it. The place was definitely hidden. The inside was dark and had newspaper clippings all over the wall. We sat down and were instantly greeted by a petite waitress. She didn’t even notice me. 

“Hi! Um-what can I get you to drink?” She said almost giggling. 

“I’ll have a water. Mandy?” He said looking at me. 

“Iced Tea for me please.” I said back. 

“Do you two need a couple minutes to order?” she asked just Jared. 

“Um no, we will have the Southwest Eggrolls and the Stuffed Mushrooms.” he said certainly.  
I smiled. She giggled and ran away. He didn’t even seem to notice. He was used to it i’m sure. 

“Ha, do you typically order for your dinner buddies?” I asked pulling my shirt down. Didn’t need my thong sticking out. 

“No, I just know what’s good here and you gotta learn to trust me.” He said smirking. 

“I see. So I am having dinner with Jared, correct?” I said eyeing him. 

“Tonight, yes. I can’t guarantee he will stick around. Joker may come out at any moment.” He said smiling at me with a wink. 

“Ah method acting. The most intense type for sure. You know, in the comics, The Joker never takes his Harley out to dinner.” I said taking a sip of tea. 

“Wait, you’ve read the comics?!” he said widening his eyes. 

“Of course I have. I’m a closet nerd. My brother is the reason behind that.” I said ripping my straw wrapper in half. 

“That might actually be really helpful. I have only read a few.” He said turning more towards me. 

“Well, anything you wanna know just ask.” I said smiling back. 

“Does he cower away from loving Harley and just use her or does he genuinely just love her in a sick and twisted way?” he asked intently. 

“That is something that has been debated for years. A lot of the things he does to Harley are proof that his version of loving someone is just demented. But some believe he truly does love her and just runs from it.” I said back. 

“What do you believe?” he asked. 

“I think it depends. I have watched the chemistry between you and Margot and to me in this case, he just loves her in a sick and twisted way.” I said back. The look on his face almost seemed like he was taking notes in his head. 

“Interesting. I definitely want to explore his character as deeply as I can.” He said taking a drink of his water. The waitress set our food down in front of us. He handed me an eggroll first. 

“Watch, you’re gonna orgasm right here at the table.” He said laughing. 

“Yeah we’ll see.” I said back. I took a bite and it was instantly amazing. I looked at him and tried to hide my amazement. 

“You know you love it, stop trying to hide it!” He grabbed my hand away from my face so he could see my reaction. I laughed hard and realized he was holding my hand. I looked down, then at him. He had stopped laughing and was looking at me with those gorgeous eyes of his. I broke the silence.

“Poor Troy. Should we invite him in?” I pointed to the giant bodyguard sitting outside the restaurant waiting for us. 

“Yeah, let me go get him.” Jared said as he got up. He went outside and my heart fluttered. What just happened? I was not about to let him get to me. Kara said he had a rep for banging his assistants. But my God he was beautiful. And actually a lot of fun when he wasn’t in character. He came back in without a big Troy. 

“He swears he is fine and not hungry. I think he’s a meat eater.” Jared said laughing. 

“Ha, that would make sense.” I said as I ate an eggroll. Jared paid for our tab and walked me back out to the car. The minute we were back on set, The Joker was back. He roughly pulled me with him to the trailer and immediately went to the back to change into his suit. Teresa came in with makeup in tow. 

“He ready for paint?” She asked.

“He will be in about 3 minutes.” I said. I had gotten pretty good at determining how long it takes him to do things. Jared came out and basically shoved me aside. I didn’t take offense. Mr. J was back. 

“Alright make it quick.” He said to Teresa. Pretty much everyone knew by now how this was going to work. Teresa went to work and helped him with his grill. He was ready. Why on earth was I still attracted to him like this? Teresa nodded and left us there. He looked in mirror and then grabbed my waist and pulled me along. 

“Come on toots, got places to be.” He said as we walked towards the 3rd studio building. 

Margot and Jared were doing a fantastic job. They definitely pulled the fucked up romance off. The casting director had done such a good job. I was talking to Jeff when I got a text. 

KARA- Hey were you out with Jared earlier? It’s all over TMZ, they saw you two holding hands and walking into a restaurant. Be careful with him. Xo

My face flushed. This was bad. It wasn’t against the rules but it was definitely frowned upon for assistants and celebrities to hook up. I sat there watching them shoot scenes with Jared looking at me every so often and winking in a sinister way. That Joker sure can be a flirt, yet so can Jared Leto. 

After we wrapped, Margot rushed past me to get ready to leave. Jeff followed as they both said bye. 

Jared brushed past me. I stared after him unsure if I should follow. He wouldn’t be happy about TMZ spotting us. He liked to keep things VERY professional for the most part. He turned to face me and eyed me suspiciously. 

“You coming doll? Don't make me carry you back.” He said. 

“Yeah, we gotta talk about something.” I said leading the way. I looked behind me and saw him checking me out. I was used to it by now. I opened the trailer door and leaned against the counter. He walked in and closed the door behind him as he took a drink out of his energy drink. 

“What’s up?” He asked. I pulled up the TMZ story on my phone and turned the screen to him. He did nothing. His eyes just went back and forth on the screen. Before I could think, he had his right hand on my throat and had lifted me on the counter. 

“This is your job sweetheart. Keep prying eyes off me.” He growled. I had my hand on top of his, trying to loosen his grip. Then it is almost like I saw him change into another person. His eyes widened and he immediately let go. 

“Oh my God, Mandy i’m so sorry. I need to snap out of it.” He said taking a few steps back. 

I coughed a bit. 

“You okay, I am so fucking sorry.” He said in a regular voice. 

“I’m fine Jared, it’s fine. I get it.” I said reassuringly. I was honestly expecting something like this to happen. I was still shaking. I knew he didn’t mean to. Method acting is something I learned about in college and it can get pretty intense especially for the actor. He pinched the bridge of his nose and stood there. I put my hand on his arm.

“Hey seriously, it’s cool. I’d rather someone take this role TOO seriously than not seriously enough. Coming from a fan of DC Comics.” I said smiling, trying to make him feel better. He let out a small laugh. 

“Yeah, I still should have kept my cool. This isn’t your fault.” He said sincerely. 

I shrugged and grabbed a water from the fridge. It was time to change the subject. 

“Okay so you are sure you don’t want to go to the launch party tomorrow night?” I asked while grabbing my bag. 

“Yeah i’m sure. Just make sure Kinnaman doesn’t hit on you. If he does, tell him to get his own.” He said.

“His own what?” I asked with a raised eyebrow. 

“Um, his own assistant.” He said realizing what he said. 

“He does have his own assistant.” I said laughing. He shook his head. 

“Right.” He said laughing. “Well I will see you Monday. Now get out.” He said winking. I laughed and walked out of the trailer. I see Will Smith walking to his trailer with an entourage behind him. Kara in tow. He waved and I waved back. He was a nice guy, very laid back. 

“You going to the Squad party tomorrow night?” He yelled over to me. 

“Wouldn’t miss it!” I yelled back. I still was a little shaky from what just happened. It had only been two weeks since we started filming. This role was clearly getting to Jared. And he was starting to get to me...


	5. Beautiful People

Chapter 5: Beautiful People

I woke up the next day with Kara knocking at my door. I got out of bed, not caring that I was in my underwear. I opened the door and she stormed in.

“So?! Did you and Jared hook up or not?” She asked with her hands on her hips. 

“No we didn’t. We just grabbed some dinner. No big deal.” I said rubbing my eye. 

“You know, I may be a lesbian, but if I were into dudes, I’d fuck him.” She said laughing. I giggled and got back in bed.

“Yeah he is gorgeous and something about him looking like The Joker.” I said getting goosebumps. 

“Well, we gotta get you ready. Launch party in an hour.” she said pulling me out of bed. “Is Jared coming? Probably not.” She said while turning my shower on. 

“No, he really wants to seclude himself from the rest of cast.” I said while picking out my outfit. Black faux leather leggings with a silver tank top. Stilettos. Yeah that should do. 

“That guy I swear. I mean I guess it’s all for a reason because he has won countless awards. But man what a weirdo. On the Requiem for a Dream set, he wouldn’t eat, would barely drink anything. And I heard he wouldn’t even fuck his at the time fiance.” She said while going into my mini fridge to grab a beer. I hopped in the shower and kept talking to Kara. 

“Yeah, he definitely gets into it. He choked me out yesterday when he saw the TMZ article.” I said while washing my hair. Kara came in the bathroom staring at me. 

“Are you serious?! What are you gonna do?!” She asked. 

“Eh, nothing. It didn’t leave that bad of bruise. He was still in character when it happened.” I said while washing my face. I got out of the shower and dried my hair. I got dressed and Kara was ready. She was in a black mini dress with black Chuck Taylors. 

My sleeve of tattoos showed with this flashy tank top. I was damn proud of my ink. Comic book characters, band symbols. I had it all. It was who I was. 

Kara and I met with Jeff in the lobby. His eyes widened. 

“Wow, you two look amazing.” He said in amazement. He held the door open as we slid into the black SUV. The driver stared at me and smiled. We got to the lot and we went to building #4. The building was packed. Pretty much the whole cast and crew with some executives who were there to check everything out. We were greeted by David Ayer and the producers. We chatted for a bit then Kara and I were approached by Joel Kinnaman and Jai Courtney. 

“Ladies, drinks, drinks!” Joel said while handing us shots. Kara and I shot them back.

“We just want to say how glad we are that we have assistants like you guys on set. You guys are very attentive.” Joel said eyeing me up and down. I blushed. He was definitely handsome. 

“It is our pleasure.” I said back and Kara nodded in agreement. 

“So Leto is skipping this too?” Jai said shaking his head. 

“Yeah, he doesn’t want to break out of character too much.”I said taking a sip of my drink. 

“I haven’t talked to him much at all. I think I have talked to him twice. Once at a table read and once during a scene. It’s crazy.” Joel said. We chatted a bit more and the party seemed to fly by. Will Smith and his wife Jada were there. Jada was just as nice as he was. Definitely a power couple. After a few hours passed, Kara, Jeff and myself decided we weren’t done partying. We wanted to go to a dive bar that was just down the street. 

“Hey guys! What’s up?” Joel asked us with Margot, Will, Jada and Margot’s boyfriend in tow. 

“Not a whole lot! We were going to go to this bar down the street. It looked pretty empty. You guys want to come?” Jeff asked them. Will and Jada decided to call it night. But Margot, Jai, Joel, David, his assistant and bunch of people from the crew decided to go. We all had security following us because of the cast. 

We all got to the bar and it was awesome. It was lit by red and blue lights. They were having karaoke night which was so not my thing. Joel must have liked me extra. He followed me a lot that night. He offered to buy me a drink and I accepted. He was very cute and very nice. But he was no Jared Leto. Joel and I hung out a lot that night at our own table that was near the rest of the group. It was actually kind of surreal. I didn’t expect A listers to act so...normal. Everyone was doing karaoke and having a great time. I had six beers at that point plus a few shots. Before I knew it, Kara had pulled me up on stage with her. We were in the middle of singing Judas Priest “You’ve Got Another Thing Comin’” when I saw him. Jared was watching me in the middle of our group with another guy next to him. I recognized the other guy but I couldn’t remember his name. I think it was Jared’s brother, the one that was in his band. Kara and I were really into the song and when we were done everyone clapped for us which made me blush. It didn’t help that I was smashed. Jared pulled me down to sit next to him when I went into the crowd. Everyone was telling me how funny I was up on stage but I wasn’t even paying attention. Once the crowd went on to the next person, Jared yelled in my ear, “This is my brother Shannon! He’s staying here for a few days!” Jared said as Shannon extended his hand. I shook his hand and yelled, “Nice to meet you Shannon!”.  
After Jake one of the lighting guys was done singing Queen, Margot and the others begged me to do another. I don’t know what I did that was so funny but I was a hit. I got up on stage and the karaoke guy asked me what I wanted to sing. I requested Work by Iggy Azalea. I started and everyone started cheering and laughing. I shook my ass like a fool and whipped my hair around. I did notice Jared smiling and whispering back and forth to Shannon. I knew they had to been talking about me. Once I was done I bowed and Joel came up and picked me up and threw me over his shoulder. I was laughing but I looked over and saw Jareds face. His eyes were fiery with jealousy. He resembled The Joker but he wasn’t in his makeup. Joel set me down on a seat.

“Oh my God Mandy! You were awesome!” Margot said while laughing. 

“Seriously girl. You know how to work it.” Joel said putting his arm around me. I saw Jared out of the corner of my eye staring at us. I don’t know why, but I liked it. Kara tapped me on the shoulder. She started screaming over the crowd. 

“Hey Mandy! We’re going back to the hotel! You coming?!” She said. I looked back at Joel and he yelled in my ear that he would walk me home later. I told Kara and she winked at me. 

“OKAY HAVE FUN!” Kara yelled a little too loud. 

As the night progressed and people will obviously wasted, Joel and I were flirting to the max. As much as I meant it, I found myself doing it mostly to piss Jared off. Which was obvious. Joel put his arm around me and whispered in my ear. I saw Jared get up in the corner of my eye. He worked his way over to me and spoke in my other ear. 

“I need to talk to you.” He yelled over the crowd. 

“What’s up man?!” Joel asked Jared. 

“I need to go over some lines with Mandy!” Jared yelled back. “Now?” I asked. Jared nodded. I nodded back and gave Joel a kiss on the cheek. He pulled me down to his level and whispered in my ear, “You wanna go out sometime?!” He said in a half whisper half yell. I nodded and told him to let me know when. He nodded and watched as Jared pulled me out of the bar. Shannon behind us. 

“You want to go over lines? Now?!” I asked completely drunk. 

“Part of the job sweetheart.” Jared said while pulling me to his car. I look over at Shannon who is shaking his head and laughing. What the hell was going on here? We got in the car and the driver took us to Jared’s hotel which apparently my hotel as well. I got of the car and immediately felt dizzy. I put my hand on my head.

“Whoa, J she’s goin’ down dude.” Shannon said while getting out of the car behind me. Jared turned around and with crazy ease lifted me up bridal style. Then everything went black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't hate me. Joel Kinnaman IS a love interest but remember this is a Leto story. ;) Trust me it'll happen.


	6. Wide Awake

Chapter 6: Wide Awake

I came to and I was in my bed. Wait...I looked around and realized I was not in my room. I was in a much much bigger room. I was still fully clothed and the last thing I remember was Jared carrying me…

I looked to my right and saw Jared and his brother Shannon sitting on the couches, playing a video game. I got up off the bed and held my head. They heard me and turned around. Jared got up and approached me. 

“Well hello Sleeping Beauty.” He said. I smiled slightly. 

“Mmm, I am so sorry Jared.” I said sincerely. 

“For what?” He said while sitting back down on the couch.

“For being so drunk I couldn’t run lines with you. If you want to fire me i’d totally understand.” I said fighting back tears. I had never screwed up this badly in my entire career. Jared looked at me sideways.

“Why would I have you fired over that? I’m not done with you yet.” He said and winked at me. Shannon smiled and shook his head. Like this was normal. I sighed and put my shoes back on.

“Okay well do you want to run lines?” I asked trying to ignore my pounding headache. 

“Nah, I think i’m good.” He said. I was confused. I thought this was why he pulled me out of the bar tonight?

“Okay then, well I am going to take off. You need anything else?” I asked while heading for the door.

“No, but I will walk you back.” He said getting up off the couch. I nodded and he opened the door for me. 

“It was nice meeting you Shannon!” I yelled behind me as I stepped into the hallway.

“Yeah you too!” Shannon yelled back. Jared closed the door behind him and walked next to me. We got onto the elevator and stood there in silence.

“So, did Kinnaman ask you out?” he said breaking the awkward silence. Not that this was much better. 

“Um, yes. But I don’t see how that is any of your business.” I said looking at my phone.   
“It is my business sweetheart. You’re MY assistant. If you fuck around with anyone, it’s going to be me. Got it?” He said not even looking at me. I stared at him in disbelief. 

“I’m sorry what?” I said in shock. 

“I’m going to get this part right. I refuse to fuck it up. So I am gonna need someone who can be my Harley Quinn 24/7.” He said with a grin.

“Do you even understand what you are saying? Have you read the comics? Have you really sat down with the writers and taken in what exactly these characters do?” I said almost yelling.

“I am fully aware. But when I commit to portraying a character, I give it everything i’ve got. When you take a job to be an assistant, don’t you do the same?” He said as the elevator doors opened. 

“Well, yeah. So you’re telling me that as your own personal Harley Quinn, I am not even allowed to date anyone for the next year? I don’t think so. That is pushing it.” I said back as we worked our way to my room. I was fiddling to find my room key then I felt his cold hands wrap around my waist. My heart sped up. I felt his lips next to my ear.

“Cut Kinnaman loose. I promise this year will be one hell of a ride.” He whispered as he untied his hands around me. I looked at him as he walked back to the elevator.He did that wink he always does and then disappeared. I finally got into my room. I honestly didn’t know if I was turned on or pissed off. I came to the conclusion that I was a bit of both. Joel was sweet and really hot. But Jared, he was...different. I couldn’t put my finger on it. To be quite honest, I wasn’t sure if I was attracted to Jared Leto or The Joker. Maybe both. I didn’t want to read much into it. Kara had said he can get like this. Just then, I heard a quick knock at the door. I opened it to find Kara. She came in quickly as I shut the door. 

“So?! Did Joel bring you back?!” She said excitedly. 

“No. Leto did.” I said sitting in the chair. 

“Huh? I thought…”she said confused.

“Yeah. Jared randomly wanted to go over lines and made me come back with him. Before I passed out in his arms…” I said while I tried to open my Tylenol bottle. Child proof of course. Without thinking, Kara took it from me and opened it. 

“Okay so, did you guys run lines?” She asked.

“Nope. I think it was a way to get me to ditch Joel.” I said taking the pills. 

“I knew it. He has been looking at you like you’re something to eat since we started this gig.” she said smiling. 

“Really?” I said surprised. 

“You haven’t noticed? Fuck, every time you move, his eyes like dart to you. Like a big weirdo.” She said laughing. I blinked a few times. 

“I mean I have seen him check out my ass a few times but I thought you said that was normal.” I said.

“I mean it is but I didn’t even see him look at Cameron Diaz that way when they were engaged and he was doing Requiem.” She said back. 

“Huh. Well he did tell me just now that I have to be his personal little Harley Quinn for the remainder of filming…”I said. Her eyes widened. 

“Umm...wow!” She said.

“Isn’t that like kinda illegal?” I said back.

“Well technically he didn’t say anything sexual and it does say in our contracts that we do what is needed to keep them in character basically. Only difference is they used a bunch of long fancy words.” She said smiling. 

“Great.” I said sighing. I had to admit, I wasn’t exactly upset about what Jared had ordered me to do. But this job was too big for me to screw it up by getting involved with a cast member. “I can’t get involved with him. I have a feeling it would end up badly. With Joel, I feel like it would be innocent and harmless. But when I see Jared, my heart skips a beat.” I said smiling.

“Girl, I say go for it. This kind of thing happens ALL THE TIME in Hollywood. I think your reputation will remain in tact. Now get some sleep. The AD and Lee sent me a text saying we have a meeting tomorrow bright and early.” She said as she got up to leave. I nodded and got into bed. I couldn’t switch my brain off. I kept replaying what Jared had said to me. His very own Harley Quinn, a toy. So this would be like a role playing deal? And it was for a good reason I suppose. This is me trying to talk myself into it...


	7. Madness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so Jared and Mandy are getting close. But a curve ball is coming. ;)

Chapter 7: Madness

I woke up Monday morning a little nervous. I had not seen Jared since Friday night, the night he basically told me I belong to him until we wrap. I had not even seen Joel. I guess Jared was not the only one to be given the weekend off, cast wise. We had been filming for almost a month at this point. We still had another ten months to go. I wasn’t sure how I felt being more than Jared’s assistant for that time. 

I took a shower, changed into my doc boots (of course), skinny jeans and a forest green flowy tank top. Kara and Jeff joined me at the coffee shop in the hotel while we waited for our car to pick us up. I was still debating if I wanted to rent a car while I was here. 

“So, how are things going with you guys?” I asked as I took a sip from my latte. 

“Great! Will is actually very nice and pretty low maintenance.” Kara said while checking her phone.

“Good for me too. Margot is very nice and Joel is a lot of fun. Because they don’t demand much, I have pretty much taken over assisting with the other cast members. Joel asked about you, Mandy.” Jeff said while looking up from his coffee. Kara looked at me and smiled.

“Ah. So what did he say?” I asked.

“He just asked if you and Leto were a thing. He saw how Leto had his hands on you when you guys left the bar Friday.” Jeff said. 

“What did you say?”I asked.

“I just said I wasn’t sure.” Jeff said. I nodded. Good enough for me. Our car pulled up and we hopped in. When the car pulled up to the studio lot, my heart started racing again. I knew Jared was filming a few day scenes today. He wouldn’t be here for about an hour but still. 

I got to Jared's trailer and used my key to get in. I set my stuff down and loaded up the Keurig. I was going to make myself a blueberry coffee before I made Jared’s hot chocolate. I stared around me at the trailer. I had my coffee in my hands, knowing he’s walk through that door any minute. Sure enough. 

Jared walked in. He was wearing an oversized muscle shirt with plain jeans. He had his sunglasses on. My God he looked so good. That green hair was shockingly hot. 

“Morning beautiful.” He said as he set his glasses down. 

“Morning.” I said smiling. “Okay so we have you and Margot up today. Scene #34B. We need to get you in your silver suit.” I said as I put my coffee down. 

“I’m glad you see it as a team effort.” He said winking at me. 

I blushed as I handed him his suit. He started changing as I made some notes in my planner. My phone chimed, text message. When I looked up, Jared looked at me, then my phone. Before I could reach it, he had snatched it. I was jumping as high as I could as he laughed his Joker laugh. 

“Who could possibly be texting you?!” He cackled. His smile immediately dropped. Then he pushed me away as he started typing something back. I tried to grab the phone back. Somehow, he had my wrists above my head in a kung fu strength grip against the fridge. He was still typing with the other hand. 

“Is it Joel?” I asked. He eyed me then handed the phone back to me. I looked for myself. 

JOEL K: Hey gorgeous. What u up to this Thursday night? I don’t think Leto has any scenes that night. 

ME (or kind of): Joel, I really shouldn’t be getting involved with you. My main focus is Jared. Sorry. 

“What the hell! I could have handled that myself!” I said throwing my hands up in the air. 

“I told you. You’re MINE.” He said eyeing me. I looked at the clock and realized we had to get Jared to makeup. Teresa wasn’t doing house calls tonight. I grabbed his hand and dragged him to makeup. 

“Finally! Where have you two been?” Teresa said as Jared sat down. She went to work as I sat against the table, fuming. Joel hadn’t written back. How fucking awkward.

I hardly spoke to Jared the rest of the shoot that day. During his scene with Margot, he called me over to fix his hair (our hair stylist wasn’t around) from fake hitting Margot. I didn’t even make eye contact as I roughly fixed his hair for him. He just stared at me the entire time waiting for me to look at him. Nope not happening. Yes, taking care of him during this was my job. But he had no right to take my phone like that. When the shot was over, I stormed away. 

“Hey, firecracker wait up.” Jared said as he chased after me. 

“I’m going home. I don’t feel well.” I said not even looking at him. 

“Oh come on. Kinnaman will get over ya. There is plenty of hot assistants on this set. 

“EXACTLY! You can get any woman you want here, why me?!” I asked as I pulled my phone out to call a car over. 

“Because, let’s just say you are my type.” He said smirking. 

“You’re type or Jokers?” I asked. He smiled a big grin.

“I guess we’ll find out. Feel better toots.” He said as he hurried to his trailer. I shook my head in frustration. I was taking a personal day. Jared was done for the day anyway. I had only known this guy a month and I was already sick of his shit. 

I showed up the following night a bit refreshed. I knew that nothing serious could happen with Jared. We would wrap in September and I would probably never see him again. He really couldn’t tell me who to date, but he did have a point. Even though I liked Joel, he wasn’t supposed to be my main concern. Besides, I think my attraction was shockingly stronger for Jared. Even though he was a royal pain in the ass to work for. 

I walked into his trailer and immediately bust out work talk. 

“Okay makeup in five, we’re doing scenes 72A and 36. Are you ready?” I asked looking up at him.  
He nodded as he made his way towards me. He reminded me of a snack. The closer he got, the more I felt like he would strike. He got inches away from my face. 

“Did you write pretty boy back?” he asked. 

“Joel? No. I left it at what you said.” I said backing up into the wall. He was centimeters from my face. He bent down and whispered in my ear, “Good girl”. I shivered. I could feel him smile against my neck. This was The Joker. I had gotten to know pretty well who I was dealing with at any point. It changed every five seconds it seemed like. He looked at me with eager eyes. He put his hand on my throat and slid it down to my hip. Suddenly, he crashed his lips to mine. The kiss was hard and surprising. I found myself not wanting it to stop. I pulled his face in closer as I kissed him back. Whoa. My knees started to give out and felt like jell-o. Jared obviously felt this as he pushed up against me even harder to keep me from falling. I sighed into his mouth then I snapped out of it. Someone knocked on the trailer door and Jared pulled away quickly. I fixed my hair and opened the door. It was Lee.

“Hey, we need him in makeup like 5 minutes ago.” Lee said eyeing me suspiciously. I nodded and shut the door. 

“We gotta go.” I said pulling the silver suit jacket onto Jared’s shoulders. I grabbed his hand and led him to makeup. I wasn’t even really aware of what I was doing or what was going on. My head was still spinning from that kiss. 

Teresa sat Jared down and went to work. He smiled and watched me as she worked. I blushed and smirked a bit but kept my head down. Finally he was finished. As he started the shots, I decided to check my e-mails on my phone. I had one from ET asking for an on set interview with Jared. Technically, I had to say no. Jared and David didn’t want any interviews with Jared until we wrapped. But I forwarded their e-mail to Kara. I know Will Smith didn’t mind doing on set interviews now. 

The scene that Margot and Jared were filming was an intense one. Jared was supposed to hit her across the face pretty damn hard. Margot had agreed to making it real and told Jared not to hold back. He definitely didn’t. But Margot was a trooper. Never even dropped a tear. Luckily, Jeff had an ice pack ready for her after every take. I could tell it somewhat bothered Jared to hit Margot. They wrapped it after only a few takes thank God. 

Jared and David chatted a bit and the Jared grabbed my hand and led me to his trailer. When we got inside he looked at me puzzled. Like he was struggling with something. He put his hands on his hips. 

“Do you….” He grunted a bit. Like he wasn’t sure how to say it. “Do you wanna like…” He sighed in frustration and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Okay give me sec alright?” he said as he exhaled.

“Yeah sure.” I said smiling. I was trying not to laugh. Poor Jared was still in character and The Joker doesn’t ask anyone out. Ever. Jared went into the bathroom. As I waited, I checked my hair and face in the mirror. Good. Just then I got a text:

JOEL K: Hey, so I get that you just wanna be buds but would you maybe wanna chill as friends? 

Just as I was going to respond, Jared exited the bathroom. His makeup was off and he had on regular clothes. 

“Like I was trying to say, to wanna go grab a drink or something?” Jared asked me. 

“Um, yeah sure.” I said smiling. He nodded and smirked. He grabbed my hand and walked me to his car. He opened the door for me and ran around to the drivers side. 

“So where are we going?” I asked. I did notice that the paparazzi was flashing at us but he didn’t seem to care. Security followed us of course. Just part of the gig. 

“There is this club a few blocks away. I have only been there once a couple years ago when my band had a show here. It was pretty cool though and Troy said we can go in through the back. Go straight to VIP.” He said turning the AC on. 

“Wait, you planned this?” I asked.  
“Um, no.” He scoffed. Yeah, he planned it. I smiled and looked at my phone. I was still debating on writing Joel back. 

“Riigghhtt. So how does it feel?” I asked.

“How does what feel?” he asked curiously.

“Being Jared for like the third time in a month?” I said smiling. He shrugged. 

“It’s a little strange but I am used to it by now. If I don’t do this way, I have a hard time sleeping. I feel like I am not putting 100% into my work if I am not in character 90% of the time.” He explained. 

“I admire that. You have to be pretty damn brave to want to be The Joker. He’s no Jordan Catalano.” I said giggling. He turned towards me and smiled. 

“Oh God, you watched that show?” He said grinning. I laughed.

“Ha, my friends and I used to watch it in high school.” I said.

“Wait high school? How old are you?” He asked. 

“I’m 28. Why?” I asked.

“Oh man, I am robbing the cradle. You know I am 44 right?” he said with a raised eyebrow. I laughed.

“Oh yeah, does age matter to you?” I asked already knowing the question.

“Nope.” He said smiling. “But you should know that i’m not looking for anything too serious right now. Squad is my top priority along with the band.” He said. I nodded.

“That’s fine. My career is just starting to take off anyway. I already have people wanting me after Squad is done.” I said looking at my phone, still contemplating on texting Joel back.

“They better not want you.” He smirked at me. I smiled. What a flirt…

I never knew it was possible to have this much fun. Security escorted Jared and I into the back entrance of the club. It was so cool, it had a modern feel to it. Jared and I laughed, took shots and talked about Squad. He had his arm around me and I had my legs laying in his lap. 

“What made you decide to take the role?” I asked feeling pretty tipsy. 

“Shannon. I actually wasn’t going to when they first approached me. I have been focusing on the band a lot. But Shannon is a huge DC fan and talked me into it. I read some of the comics and watched every on screen Joker I could. The character seemed like so much fun, I had to. I’m really fucking glad I did…” He said as he reached in to kiss me. We were interrupted by a fan who somehow go into the VIP section.

“Oh my God, Jared fucking Leto! Can I have your autograph, sexy?” A girl in a skimpy dress asked him. He nodded and smiled.

“Thank you! So you wanna join me and my girlfriends?” She pointed outside the VIP room at her even skimpier friends. Jared looked at me and smiled. 

“No, thanks darlin’. Have a good night though.” Jared said while not breaking eye contact with me. Troy escorted the girl out of the VIP area. 

“Wow, I must be special for you to turn down a 10 like that.” I said taking a sip of my drink.

“Nah, i’m good. I’ve got a 10 right here.” Jared said winking at me. God that wink. Talk about Prince Charming. 

“Yeah right.” I said blushing. 

“You wanna get out of here?” He said pointing to the door. 

“Yeah, let’s go.” I said scooting out of the booth. Jared grabbed my hand and followed Troy and the other bodyguards followed us to the car. Just as we were ready to reach the car, a swarm of paparazzi surrounded us. Jared opened my side of the car and basically shoved me in, but in a protective way. We sped off towards the hotel. 

“Damn. Sorry about that.” I said looking at my phone. 

“Why are you sorry? I am used to that shit.” He said as we pulled up to the hotel valet. I kept refreshing the TMZ site on my phone. It had to show up any second. TMZ was crazy fast at posting new stories. Sure enough, just as Jared helped me out of his car, it was there. A close up photo of Jared and I walking hand in hand. 

JARED LETO AND SUICIDE SQUAD ASSISTANT SPOTTED 

Suicide Squad star Jared Leto and his hot assistant were spotted leaving The Cut nightclub about 20 minutes ago. Sources say the pair have been inseparable even after the work days are over. Jared has been seen with a lot of women, but we like this one A LOT. What do you guys think?

I shook my head as Jared and I walked in the back entrance of the hotel. I showed him my phone. He read it and laughed.  
“Who cares?” He said pushing the elevator button. 

“Well you do, remember?” I said stepping inside the mirrored elevator. 

“I told you, when I am in character, I am not myself.” He said as the door shut. He turned to face me as I stared at my phone. He pulled my phone out of my hands and put it in his pocket. He pressed me up against the mirrored wall with his body. I never noticed how rock hard his whole body was. 

“You are taking the night off with me and you’re not going to look at your phone until I say otherwise. Got it?” he said only an inch away from my face. I nodded and gulped. I honestly didn’t know what this guy had in store for me. I knew it was wrong to get involved when I have work this hard to get at this spot in my career. But something about those eyes. From the moment I met him, it’s like my subconscious knew, this is it. Commitment and relationships were not my forte. The longest relationship I ever had was a month. I guess I should have known this would be different. I’ve never missed a guy the second he leaves the room. 

Jared led me out to the hallway and I realized we were on his floor. He opened his penthouse suite door and led me inside. I still had no idea what I was in for.


	8. Change

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> MATURE

Chapter 8: Change It

I walked into Jared’s suite and walked over to the amazing view at the window. 

“Wow.” I said. I felt his cold hands wrap around me. This was still new for me. I was definitely not the romantic type. But my heart rate said something different. “Beautiful.” I said reaching behind my head to touch that gorgeous green hair of his. 

“Yeah.” He said turning his head to look at my face. Before I knew it, I kissed him. It was like someone else was controlling me. The kiss got intense, very quick. His hands started to toy with the top button of my jeans. I pulled back and leaned against the window. 

“What’s wrong?” He said panting heavily. 

“I can’t do this. I don’t even know you Jared.” I said putting my hands on my temples. 

“Well you kinda do. And besides, what do you need to know? Other than i’ve wanted you since the first time I saw you?” He said running his hands through his hair. 

“Listen, this job is so important to me. I have worked so hard to get here. You are guaranteed this role. Mine is not. If I start this with you, I am setting myself up for failure.” I said looking down. 

“So what? You are saying you want to keep it 100% professional? Is this about Kinnaman?” He said looking up.

“No. This is about the fact that I hardly know you except what I had to learn so I could do my job.” I said turning around to look at the city. Although I knew I was indoors, it somehow felt like my only way to get some breathing room. I didn’t want to bring up the fact that he was known to be a womanizer and I honestly didn’t have the willpower to deal with that at this point in my life. 

As I said that, I saw something happen. I saw the immediate change between him and The Joker. I had never seen it in this order before. I felt my skin raise and I immediately felt terrified. He took out my phone and tossed it to me.

“Then get out Princess.” He said, not taking his eyes off me. I scoffed in disbelief. I left and slammed the door behind me. Although I knew, I made the right choice in telling him nothing could happen, I still felt disappointed. 

___________________________________________________________________________  
ONE MONTH LATER

Things between Jared and I had returned to professional. It was still difficult not to want to attack him sometimes, but I knew it was for the best. Production was going great. The film was looking more incredible everyday. 

Jared was going to be going back to Los Angeles for a week for a 30STM deal. Shayla had called me and we coordinated our schedules so we wouldn’t be behind on the film. David wasn’t thrilled but he knew going into it that Jared was a busy dude. I offered to help out for the week as a regular production assistant, even though Lee said I could have the week off. 

It was 3am, we were still rolling. I was exhausted so I decided it was caffeine time. I headed over to the coffee station and saw that Joel was standing there getting a coffee. Usually celebrities had their assistants fetch their coffee but Joel was not like that. I loved how down to earth he was. I hadn’t spoken to him much. I always avoided being alone with him so I could avoid what had happened with Jared and my phone. 

“Hey Joel.” I said as I reached for a coffee cup. 

“Hey you.” He said not looking over at me. “So you still not gonna have dinner with me?” He asked as he stirred his coffee. I sighed. Jared was gone. But I was his…his assistant. 

“I’ll think about it.” I said smiling at him. Kara ran up to me. Showing me her phone. 

“Did you see this?” She asked. The photo was of Jared and some random model making out in Los Angeles. My blood boiled. I had no right to be pissed but I was. So he can bang whoever he wants but I can’t even have one date? This was not in my job description, dammit. I looked up at Joel who was talking to one of the sound guys. 

“Hey, Joel. Dinner this Friday night?” I said as Kara eyed me suspiciously. Joel’s eye lit up. 

“Yeah! Let’s do it, 8pm cool?” He said as Jeff started to hand him his Rick Flag gear. I nodded and started to walk towards the set. Kara of course followed. She knew what was up.

“So you’re gonna go out on a date with one of the main cast members just because you are jealous?” She said smiling. 

“No, I am NOT jealous. He can fuck whoever he wants. I am just his temporary assistant. We won’t be filming forever Kara.” I said trying to hold back tears from being so pissed off. Part of me wanted to go back to my hotel room and eat an entire pizza by myself but I decided to stay and help out. Keep my mind off of the gorgeous yet insensitive man that was Jared Leto.  
_____________________________________________________________________________  
I couldn’t get him out of my head. I was going insane. This was so much easier when we was here in Toronto and I had a close eye on him. Now that he was gone and apparently shoving his tongue down some girls throat, I was losing my mind. To top it all off, tonight was my date with Joel. Don’t get me wrong, I was looking forward to it. We had all been working non stop and I needed a night out. I chatted with Lee for a minute and took off to the hotel so I could ready. 

As I was putting a little bit of makeup on, I heard a knock at the door. I opened it to see Kara. 

“So what are you gonna wear?” She asked coming into the room. Kara knew she didn’t need an invitation at this point. 

“Eh, my usual. Jeans, tank, boots. I don’t need to impress anyone. And Joel said he is just taking me to a pizza joint which I am all for.” I said as I pulled back my hair. 

“So, let me just double check. You’re not doing this because of your jealousy of Jared kissing some other girl?” Kara said scratching her head. 

“Exactly. Jared can do whatever he wants. I am keeping it professional with him. I am his assistant for fucks sake. If he wants to kiss a trashy stick figure, that is on him.” I said trying to hide the sarcasm in my voice.

“Uh huh.” She said eyeing me. I heard a knock at my door. 

“That’s Joel.” I said answering the door. He was dressed normally which was great. I was used to seeing Rick Flag. 

“You ready darlin’?” He said smirking. I nodded and fake smiled. I really did like him. And my God he was hot. But I was secretly wishing he was someone else…

Joel took me to this secluded pizza joint that was buried in the heart of Toronto. It was a pizza place known for weird and strange pizza toppings. 

“So, what do you think?” He asked looking up from the menu. 

“I don't know, these all sound crazy but I wanna try em all.” I said laughing. He turned to the waiter.

“We will take a medium of each.” Joel said laughing. I opened my mouth in awe. 

“Oh my God! We can’t eat all of that!!!” I laughed. 

“Oh come on, be adventurous!” He said taking a sip of his beer. I laughed. 

“So, when does Leto get back?” He asked sternly. Dammit. 

“Oh um, tomorrow night.” I said sipping my wine.  
“So were you two really getting into it at one point?” He asked. I immediately shook my head.

“No of course not! I am his assistant. That could get messy.” I said trying to lie as best as I could. 

“Yeah, he’s an odd dude. I still have hardly talked to him, which I get why he stays clear from the rest of us for the most part. It makes sense but damn.” Joel said as he sat back in his seat. 

“Yeah. He’s odd for sure.” I said wanting to change subject. Joel picked that up and immediately started talking about the film. We talked about how I was a comic fan, where he grew up. We had very random conversation topics. We had 12 pizzas at our table and we only ate a few slices each. Joel told his bodyguard to take the rest to the homeless shelter down the street. I thought I literally felt my heart melt. After Joel and I headed back to the hotel he decided to walk me to my room. 

“Well I had a lot of fun.” I said smiling. 

“Yeah me too.” He said as he leaned in. I put my hands on either side of his face and pulled him in. The kiss was incredible. It was a yearning kiss but gentle. Something Jared and I had not practiced yet. I felt like I was on fire. All of the tension between Jared and I had before and not following through was taking it’s toll. I wanted so badly to invite him in. I almost did. But it felt wrong somehow.

“I better go before I do something bad.” I said in between kisses. 

“Then do something bad.” He said laughing. 

“I can’t. Not right now...got an early day tomorrow.” I said smiling. I couldn’t exactly say that I was hoping he was someone else. 

“Alright. I’ll see you tomorrow.” He grabbed my hand and gave it a light kiss. I waved goodbye and stumbled in my room. I jumped into my bed and sighed. God he was cute. But he wasn’t Jared. But I couldn’t have Jared. I mean I could, but it was too risky. This job was too important. I decided to turn my brain off finally and I immediately fell asleep. 

The next morning, I had a busy day. Jared’s flight came in at 5pm, meeting with David at 7pm, filming at 11pm until noon the next day. I got up and picked out my underwear for the day. I got in the shower and almost fell back asleep. I smacked my forehead and dressed in my black lace boy shorts and matching bra. I ran a towel through my long black hair and walked into the room. I almost fainted. There he was. Already in makeup and dressed in his purple sweatpants and no shirt. How the hell did he get into my room and how did he get in makeup and costume without me there to walk him through it?

“JARED?! What the fuck?! How did you get in here? I’m not supposed to pick you up until 5!” I said while covering my chest as best I could. He had a blank look on his face. He obviously started “work” early. He was leaning against the window as he pulled out his phone. 

“You wanna explain this to me?” He said as he turned his phone screen towards me. I looked closely. It was a picture of Joel and I leaving the restaurant last night. Holding hands. Another shot of us kissing in the hallway. Someone had followed us. The TMZ headline read:

‘SUICIDE SQUAD STAR JOEL KINNAMAN MESSING AROUND WITH ONE OF JARED LETO’S GIRLFRIENDS...SORRY ASSISTANTS.

I looked away. 

“Yeah so?” I said folding my arms. I was aware I was half naked but I was pissed. 

“So you tell me, you gotta focus on your career yadda yadda then you hook up with this yahoo?” Jared said inching towards me. 

“So? I saw the picture of you and what's her face. So you can’t be too heartbroken about not being able to tap ME.” I said sarcastically putting my hand on his rock hard chest, pushing him away from me. 

“Who??” He said looking extra confused. I had learned that The Joker’s expressions were heightened. 

“You know. Skinny blonde. Valery something.” I said looking down. 

“Oh come on doll. It meant nothing. Now the action that was going’ on with you and pretty boy, seemed legit. Although, didn’t look like he made you weak at the knees like I did.” He said as he started wrapping his arms around my waist. I started to breathe heavily and although I was trying to hide it, he noticed. His grin scared the hell out me, grill in or not. I wanted to kiss him so badly, but I couldn’t mess up his makeup. Or get it on me. I snapped back to reality and I swiftly ducked out of his grip and came out behind him. 

“No, I can’t.” I said backing up away from him. He let out a small laugh and before I knew it, he had me pinned. I was pinned against the opposite wall. He roughly spun me around and locked my hands behind me. I was powerless. 

“Can’t?” He whispered in my ear. As I shivered from his breath on my skin, he slowly ran his hand down my hip and over my lace underwear. He felt how hot my middle was and laughed. 

“Can’t fool me Mandy.” He said. He spun me back around and pulled my panties aside as he slid two fingers in me. I gasped from the feel and surprise. I turned my head, his lips crashed to mine and I moaned into his mouth. I felt him smile against my lips and he sped up his fingers. It wasn’t long before I came. I let out a shriek and I knew Kara probably could have heard me if she was home. I felt Jared hard against me and I started to pull down his pants when he stopped me. 

“No, stop. Makes him too vulnerable.” His voice had changed back and if I looked close enough, even with the makeup, I saw his face change. I was just finger fucked by The Joker. Not Jared, The Joker. 

“Are you kidding me?” I said as he pulled his trench on and pulled the hood up. He winked at me made a kissing gesture at me. He left me there completely dumbfounded. I went into my bathroom to splash my face with water. I looked in the mirror and although Jared’s makeup looked flawless when he left, I had bright red lipstick smeared all over my lips...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Mandy is in quite a pickle. Yes I said pickle. You've got Jared/Joker on one hand and hot Mr. Joel on the other. Not to mention Jared is ten kinds of confusing. I have been reading his interviews (now that Squad is basically wrapped) and it sounds to me like he was The Joker 90% of the time they shot the film and 10% was Jared. I am really wanting to continue to explore that. Thanks everyone for the hits! Feel free to comment!


	9. Midnight City

Chapter 9: Midnight City

I quickly splashed my face with warm water. What the hell just happened? Was that him trying to get in character? What did he mean ‘it makes him vulnerable’? 

I couldn’t wrap my around it. Part of me wanted the sweet vegetarian I went out with last month. The other part liked the danger in his eyes when he was The Joker. I know I should have felt bad considering I had just turned Joel down the night prior. But I didn’t. I wanted more. I snapped back to reality and looked our call sheet for the day. It was going to be a heavy day for everyone. I immediately got dressed and headed out the door. Somehow my knees were still weak.  
__________________________________________________________________________  
I showed up to the set and headed for Jared’s trailer. On my way, I saw Joel in costume and he gave me a suggestive nod. I waved back and he gave me a wink. I scanned the lot to make sure Jared wasn’t anywhere in sight. Coast was clear. Just as I was going to reach the trailer door, Lee stopped me. 

“Hey Mandy. Got a minute?” He asked quietly. I nodded and he took me around the corner. 

“So listen, I saw the picture of you and Joel. I know I can’t tell you how to live your life. But I will tell you that Jared is very um...territorial of you. I don’t know what is going on between you two, but for the love of God don’t piss him off. We need him completely focused.” Lee said hesitantly. 

“Lee, I promise I won’t let anything get in the way of my job or Jared’s work. Nothing is going on.” I said trying my best to lie. Lee looked at me sideways and nodded.

“Okay, I trust you. You’re doing a great job and Jared has nothing but great things to say about your performance.” Lee said smiling at walking away. I smiled and nodded. Great. 

I walked into Jared’s trailer. Jared was leaning against the counter and Margot Robbie was sitting on the couch across from him. She was already in costume. They both looked up at me. 

“Oh God, are you guys going over line? I am so sorry, I will leave you guys to it.” I said turning around to leave. 

“No, no I think we got it right?” Margot said looking at Jared. He nodded. Margot got up and headed towards me. 

“I gotta go talk to David. I’ll see you guys later.” Margot said as she kissed my cheek and exited the trailer. I held my clipboard tightly, trying not to shake. Jared stared at me with a stern face. I sighed, not breaking eye contact. 

“Okay, we still have plenty of time before your meeting with David. How do you feel about shooting the scene tonight?” I asked.  
“Fine.” He said not breaking his eye contact. 

“Okay then. Just FYI, Margot’s birthday is coming up. What would you like to do for that?” I asked getting my pen ready. 

“Hmm...let me think about it.” He said pulling his phone out. I nodded and made a note. 

“So, we gonna chat about what just happened not even two hours ago?” He said smirking.

“No. Okay so tonight's meeting then we are filming a few driving shots. Your double will do about 25% of the panned out shots but David is doing a lot of inside of the car scenes.” I said jotting notes down. He chuckled at my sudden change of the subject. 

“You can’t ignore it doll.” He said as he snaked towards me. I didn’t look up at him. Within a few seconds, he snatched my clipboard out of my hands and had his hands wrapped around my waist. 

“I thought you said you didn’t want to continue this?” I said looking up. He laughed.

“Oh trust me, I do. But The Joker wants something different. HE wants to take you against your will. I don’t wanna do that. I may be in character most of the time, but I draw the line at that. So in a nutshell, no sex until this is over.” He said smiling at me. Only inches from my face. I nodded then gulped. 

“I agree.” I said looking down. He tilted my chin up with his finger. 

“But listen to me when I say this. I really am into to you. I myself, Jared. I think you were right that we gotta put it on hold for now, this whole thing will be over in September. But until then, no pretty boy Joel. Deal?” He said bending his head down to see my eyes. I smiled and nodded. 

“Alright. Well, until then, let’s get you in the white suit.” I said picking my clipboard up.He nodded and I pulled the suit out of his wardrobe. He changed into his suit and I started to feel hungry. Somehow I think he picked up on this. 

“You hungry?” He said smiling. 

“Ugh yeah. I haven’t eaten since last night. I would eat with rest of the crew but they don’t accommodate vegetarians apparently.” I said laughing. He shook his head.

“I hate that. Lets order something then.” He said looking at his phone. 

“Okay, what do you want?” I said getting my pen ready. 

“Mmm...is there anything vegan around here?” Jared said searching on his phone. 

“Probably.” I said grabbing a water out of the fridge. Jared found a vegan joint not too far from here that delivered. I decided to go around the lot to see if anyone else wanted anything from our pick. A few of the lighting guys, a couple assistant directors and Jeff wanted something. I called and put in our orders. Jared and I decided to eat in his trailer, of course. Close to no contact with the crew or cast. 

Jared and I talked about the film while we ate. It was nice to be professional but still have a little flirtation. 

“So, is this the hardest role you’ve done?” I asked taking a bite of my salad. 

“Not really. It’s obviously a challenge to my personal life.” He said smirking at me. “But the hardest was probably Requiem.” He said taking a sip of his water. I nodded. 

“You taking time off after we wrap?” He asked me. I shrugged. 

“I don’t know. I have an offer for another set assistant spot. But it started immediately after Squad. You are pretty exhausting so I feel like a break is needed.” I said smirking at him. He giggled a bit under his breath. 

“Where do you live in L.A?” He asked. 

“We are in West Hollywood. Kinda up in the hills.” I said taking a sip of water. He nodded. 

“You aren’t too far from me then.” He said smiling. 

“Oh yeah, you’re in Laurel Canyon aren’t you?” I asked. It then occurred to me that just a few hours ago, I had a very intense sexual encounter with the guy sitting across from me. I suddenly blushed. He nodded but noticed my red face. 

“Whats up? You just turned a different color.” He said smiling. 

“Yeah sorry. Just thinking about something.” I said looking down. 

“Yeah? Me too…”He said winking at me. Okay, so at least I knew I wasn’t the only one thinking about it. 

__________________________________________________________________________  
Filming that night was a blast. We got to have Ben Affleck come in to do a chase scene with Margot and Jared. He was a nice guy, kind of a dork. But it was funny how dorky he actually was. In between takes, Jared would walk to me and brush his hand against me. As much as it made my heart beat so fast, I kept thinking about what Lee said. Luckily, Joel had the night off. Jared needed a makeup touch up so we all sat around the street to take a break. Margot came up to me and gave me a nudge. 

“So, you and Jared.” She said smiling at me. 

“What did you hear?” I said looking at her wide eyed. She laughed.

“That he is really into you, its just hard for him because of the job. I can tell you feel the same ya know.” She said. 

“Who told you he’s into me?” I said scribbling on my clipboard. 

“He did. We talked about you today. He told me you two can’t keep your hands off each other behind closed door, but that you guys are trying to wait until we wrap.” She said checking her makeup in her compact mirror. 

“He said that? Wow.” I said smiling

“Why are you so surprised? You are great! I don’t know him well, but from what everyone says, he is really sweet when he isn’t working a complex character. Just give it time. We are almost done.” She said fixing her lipstick. 

“Yeah but then you gotta remember. He has his band. Women throw themselves at him, is that really safe?” I said looking at her curiously. She shrugged. 

“No one said anything about being serious with him. Just have fun.” She said before costume PA’s pulled her away. I smiled and watched as Jared came back to set. He came up and stood next to me. Lightly, he put his hand around me. 

“Jared, someone might see.” I said not looking up from my clipboard. 

“So? No one’s watching.” He said as he drew circles on my lower back. I shivered and jumped a bit when David called everyone back to set. I watched as Margot and Jared did their thing and I tried to focus. Margot was right, there was nothing wrong with having some fun with the guy. Once we wrapped of course.  
_______________________________________________________________________  
The next few months were a breeze. Jared was making headlines when he sent Margot a rat for her birthday, Will Smith and the rest of the cast a dead hog oh and can’t forget the anal beads and used condoms to Smith. Getting those used condoms was an interesting story which I will not get into. All I can say is they were NOT Jared’s. 

Jared and I did our best to keep our hands off each other. A few kisses here and there. Joel had backed off. Even though Jared and I didn’t make our connection known, I think he could see it. He was still cordial, but I could tell I hurt him. I honestly didn’t mean to. I just knew Jared was the route I wanted to go. 

Things got even crazier after Comic Con week. Jared skipped the convention to avoid being in the public eye. Social media went crazy after the trailer was released. The trailer looked incredible, Jared’s ten second introduction got everyone talking. It was now August and Jared was wrapped. 

“Okay our flight is at 4:30pm. Will you be ready by then? It’s only in 2 hours.” I said calling back to the bathroom in his trailer.

“Yes for the 100th time.” He said yelled back. I rolled my eyes. He emerged from the bathroom. He had on crazy looking patterned pants and an old band t-shirt. It was strange to see his hair was now a light red color and he had zero makeup on. 

“Alright then, let’s get outta here.” I said getting ready to open the door. He pulled my arm back and pulled me into a kiss.

“What are you up to this weekend?” He said kissing my neck. 

“Well, I am moving into my new apartment for one thing. Not that I don’t love Natalie, but it’s time for me to have my own place.” I said running my hand up the back of his neck. 

“Moving?Where?” His face fell. I giggled. 

“About a mile from Laurel Canyon. I am about a ten minute drive to your place, with traffic.” I said wrapping my arms around him.

“Good. Well, what are the chances you’d want to hang out with me this weekend? I just have a couple interviews but Shayla said I am free until Monday other than that.” He said swaying side to side. 

“I mean I am moving.” I said laughing. 

“You can’t take a few hours off?” He said with a frown. I shook my head.

“No, I want to get it done. Come on, we gotta go.” I said grabbing his hand. I had my bag in the other hand. It’s amazing that I spent almost a year on one duffle bag. Jared and I sat first class on the flight, something I had only done once. We sat down and the attendant came around to get our drink order. She was a tall, brunette and eyed Jared a little too long. 

“Yeah I’ll have a club soda. She wants a Perrier.” Jared said to the attendant.  
“Right away Mr. Leto.” The attendant said while winking at him. I eyed her and looked at Jared.

“Goddamn, really?” I said sarcastically. He laughed and rubbed my knee. He was clearly used to that. The flight went by fast. When we landed, paparazzi were everywhere. Shayla had Jared’s car dropped off at the airport and we were escorted by security. Traffic wasn’t too bad and we pulled up to my apartment when it was already night. 

“Well thanks for the ride yo.” I said laughing and grabbing my bag. 

“No problem. You gonna call me later?” He asked with puppy dog eyes. 

“Yes. Obviously.” I said while reaching over to kiss him. He put both hands on my face and kissed me deep. I almost fell into the seat and caught myself. I waved and walked to my door. I opened the door and a banner hung on the wall:

WELCOME HOME MANDY!!!

I smiled. Of course Natalie wasn’t there due to work. She was nice enough to pack most of my stuff for me in boxes. I decided to sleep on the couch seeing my bed was undone. I thought about Jared. Were we dating? I honestly had no clue at this point. I wasn’t sure if people like Jared dated. Or myself for that matter...


	10. Tiny Monsters

Chapter 10: Tiny Monsters

I woke up the next morning to my roommate Natalie poking me. 

“Wake up butthole.” Natalie said with a mouthful of food. I opened my eyes and I broke out into a smile. I pulled her into a hug.

“Natalie!!! I missed you.” I said releasing her. 

“I missed you too! So enough of this, how the fuck was it working for Jared Leto?” She said lifting an eyebrow. 

“It was fun.” I said smiling. 

“Oh my God, I know that look. You hooked up with him, didn’t you?!” She said jumping up. 

“Not completely. But I am seeing him soon hopefully. I just want to get moved into the new place first.” I said stretching. 

“Uh huh. Then why is there a moving truck outside?” She said looking at her donut. I looked at her confused. I got up and looked out our front window. A medium sized moving truck was sitting out front. I saw a middle aged man walking up to our door, I opened it before he could ring the doorbell. 

“You Mandy Morrison?” He said looking at his paperwork. 

“Yeah, who’s asking?” I said with Natalie pushing me over so she could stand next to me. 

“Worldwide Moving Company. We have a full service request for today at 10am.” He said looking at me.

“I didn’t set that up. I was just going to do trips.” I said looking at Natalie. 

“Uh no, it says here a Mr. Leto set it up. Already paid for.” He said handing me the paperwork and pen. 

“Haha! He must really wanna see you! This place is expensive! They pack everything and take it over and even unpack it. Am I right?” She said with a mouthful of donut. The guy nodded. 

“Alright, how much stuff you got?” He said taking a peek inside. 

“Not much, bed, a couple couches, like 20 boxes.” I said looking behind me. Before I knew it, there were three dudes in my apartment packing my stuff and moving everything to the truck. I gave them my new address and told them I’d meet them there. I pulled my phone out to text Jared:

ME: You’re crazy!

JARED: Now you have zero excuses. What’s your new address? 

ME: 1710 N Fuller Ave, Los Angeles, CA 90046 Apartment 200. I’m not there yet, the movers are unpacking everything once we leave here. You coming over?

JARED: Yeah. I’ll be there at like 4pm. We’re goin out tonight.

ME: Mmk <3

“Shit, should I not have added the heart emoji? Is that too weird?” I asked Natalie. 

“Um, would the poo emoji have been better?” She asked as she got out of her yoga pose. I laughed at her. Natalie wasn’t one to get embarrassed easily. 

“Okay, you coming over next Monday to check out my new crib?” I said as I grabbed my car keys. 

“Yeah, I will be there. When do I get to meet Jared?” she asked giving me a hug. 

“Well, if he comes over Monday, then Monday.” I said winking at her. I left and the movers nodded the okay for me to go ahead and take off. I drove through Los Angeles and all of the sudden got nervous. Jared had a tendency to always do that to me, but this is different. Squad was wrapped. We had zero excuses now. Nothing was stopping us. Jared was going to have a few weeks before he had to go to Dubai for a 30STM show. I didn’t start my next gig until October. 

The movers were finally done. I tipped them each $50. They smiled and left. I put a few remaining bits of furniture in the correct places and decided it was time to bust out the wine. I went to the fridge. I had a bottle of wine and a pint of Ben and Jerry’s in the freezer. That is sad. Granted I had only been home a day. I was going to have to make a Whole Foods run at some point. 

I heard a knock at the door. I skipped to the door with my wine glass in my hand and opened it to find a Jared. He had on an oversized muscle shirt and black dress pants. I couldn’t imagine how random his closet was at home. His red hair was now turning pinkish. 

“Hey!” I said as I put my arms out. He smiled and took me into a giant hug, his lips crashed to mine and he slid his tongue in my mouth, trying to be sly. I started giggling.

“I have to shut the door!” I said as he lifted me up and shut the door with his foot. Thank God my glass of wine close to empty or else I would have spilled it all over my new carpet. I had my legs wrapped around him as he walked me into the kitchen and set me down on the counter. He gave me one more small peck before breaking away. 

“Thanks for hiring those big, sexy mover guys for me. They were a BIG help.” I said eyeing him. His smile lowered.

“Wait what?” He said. 

“I’m kidding.” I laughed. “So what are we doing tonight?” I asked pouring myself another glass. 

“We’re going to one of my favorite restaurants. It’s strictly vegetarian. You may have already been to it before.” He said.

“What’s it called?” I asked taking a sip. I knew Jared didn’t drink so I didn’t even bother to offer him any. 

“Ink”. He said as he put his hands on both of my knees. My face lit up.

“Holy shit that is one of the best places in L.A.” I said.

“Good, I thought you’d be down for it.” He said running his hands up my thighs. 

“Want the grand tour?” I said giving him a kiss on his neck. 

“Yes, but don’t show me the bedroom just yet.” He said grinning. “Not til later.” He said as I hopped off the counter. I smirked back at him and grabbed his hand. 

“Okay, this is the guest bathroom. It’s kinda boring. Mine is way cooler. But, as requested, you won’t get to see it until later. Here we have the guest bedroom. I still have to decorate obviously. Right now, it’s going to be the ‘Mandy doesn’t feel like unpacking so she stuffs all of the boxes in here’ room.” I said closing the door. He laughed and followed me to the dining room. 

“You gotta check out my balcony.” I said as I opened the sliding door. The patio was a little small but it had pretty glass barriers and my cute patio set was already out there. 

“Nice.” He said looking over the edge. 

“Yeah, it needs a plant.” I said giggling. 

“A plant?” He said smiling at me. “Just one plant?” He said sarcastically. 

“Yes. After I get the one plant, it will be complete.” I said opening the sliding glass door. I grabbed his hand and pulled him inside.  
“So you ready to bounce?” I said grabbing my wallet. Yes I was one of those women who didn’t believe in purses. 

“Yes ma’am. Just be prepared, some paps are outside waiting for us.” He said grabbing his keys off the counter. 

“Oh fun. Are you sure you wanna leave now?” I said.

“Why wouldn’t I? This wouldn’t be the first time they have gotten shots of us. Who cares?” He said grabbing my hand and dragging me out the front door. The paparazzi snapped a few shots as Jared held my hand behind him. I was actually getting somewhat used to this. Jared opened my car door for me and we sped off. We reached the restaurant and walked in as fast as we could. After we had ordered, I leaned in on my elbows and stared at him.

“What are you staring at me for, weirdo?” He said sipping his drink.

“Nothing, just weird to see you look like this. Good, but weird.” I said smiling. 

“You’re good but weird.” He said as he leaned in and kissed me quickly. I smiled and started playing with my knife. 

“When do you guys head to Dubai?” I asked looking at the knife closely. 

“I was actually going to talk to you about that.” He said. My heart sank. He was breaking it off. He was going to go back to being a rockstar. 

“How would you like to come with me?” He asked with a sweet smile. I nearly choked on my Sprite. 

“You serious?” I said smiling.

“Yeah, why not?” He said back.

“Wouldn’t I get in the way?” I asked.

“No, definitely not. You’re so much fun and laid back. I think you’ll be able to handle it.” He said smirking at me. 

“What about the guys? Won’t they be pissed?” I asked. I had only met Shannon a couple of times, Tomo I had never met. 

“No. They are cool with it.” he said.

“Wait you already asked them? So this isn’t because I look good tonight?” I said giggling. I had a strange sense of humor. He laughed. 

“You do look good tonight but no. I just like having you around. You keep things interesting.” He said putting his hand on my leg. I smiled.

“So when would we be gone?” I asked checking my phone.

“September 24th-October 1st. First Dubai, then Spain then Greece.” He said peeking over at my phone. I checked and I didn’t start my next gig until October 15th. 

“I’m in.” I said smiling. 

“Good, because I kind of already told Shayla you are coming.” He said smiling. 

“Ohhh I see, how did you know i’d say yes?” I said laughing. 

“Just a feeling I got.” He said as he smiled and reached over to kiss me. Well this would be interesting. 

____________________________________________________________________________  
It was amazing. Jared was 100% himself and I loved it. He was making me laugh non stop. We had the exact same sense of humor. I felt like I was a teenager. I hadn’t had this much fun in so long. I was also so serious about my work that I never took a second to remember I lived in this beautiful city. Jared had me on his shoulders as we headed back to my apartment. Once we got inside, he set me down and turned to face me. He took my face into his hands and crushed his lips to mine. I felt like the leash had finally disappeared. It was game on. 

I ran my hands through his hair as I moaned into his mouth. He moved his hands to my hips and pulled me in closer. I started to walk backwards towards the bedroom with him still attached to my hips. We peeled each other’s clothes off and left the trail behind us. He pushed me back on the bed. We had nothing on at this point and were reaching for each other like we were hungry for it. Before I knew it, he was on top of me. He held himself up by his forearms as he slid into me. I moaned so loud I quickly put my hand over my mouth. He brushed my hand away and sped up. He growled into my neck and bit my neck as hard as he could. I screamed out in pain but he knew I loved it. I scratched my nails down his back then realizing I drew blood. He flipped me over so I was on top of him. He sat up as I rode him I felt myself tightening. I pulled his hair so he was looking up at me. I gave him a slow nod and I felt him tightening inside of me. I collapsed on him as I finished. We both panted heavily on each other with our foreheads touching. I laid down next to him and turned over so I was on my stomach. 

“Damn.” He said breathing heavily. 

“Yeah, we should have done that A LOT sooner.” I said laughing. He smiled and rolled on his side. He ran his finger up my hip bone. 

“You’re amazing.” He said smiling. 

“Right back at ya.” I said giving him a soft kiss. A few minutes passed and he dropped the bomb on me. 

“Why don’t you have a guy already?” He said curiously. 

“Why don’t you have a lady already?” I said back. He grinned.

“I asked you first.” He said tickling my side. I laughed. 

“I don’t know. I was engaged, about five years ago. He cheated on me with my best friend. So I got out of that as quick as I could. Ever since then I really just haven’t had the time. My career is my life and I have never been able to find anyone who respected that and still thought I was worth it I guess.” I said putting my hair behind my ear. 

“I get that. I was engaged once too. Cameron was great. I fucked up and cheated on her.” He said. It was almost like he was waiting for me to throw him out. 

“It happens. All you can do is learn from it.” I said grabbing his hand. I wasn’t stupid. I knew Jared was known for being a ladies man. But I was known for having commitment issues. I guess it sort of balances out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Mandy and Jared are finally able to be normal. Let's see how long it lasts ;)


	11. Closer

Chapter 11: Closer

I woke up the next morning and saw that Jared was not in bed next to me. I looked around and saw his sunglasses on my dresser. I stretched and put on my boyshorts and a t-shirt. I pulled my long hair into a pathetic looking mess and headed out to the kitchen. I see Jared hooking up my TV. 

“Aww, thanks!” I said as I wrapped my arms around his waist. He turned his head and kissed me. 

“Yeah no problem. I got it mounted okay, your cable guy came by and hooked up the cable box though.” He said pointing to my TV. 

“Sweet. I gotta go grocery shopping. All I have is wine and ice cream.” I said stretching my arms out. 

“Well don’t buy too much. We are leaving in a week. Are you sure you’re ready for this? It can get, intense.” He said putting his arms around me and pulling me in. 

“Yeah, I followed A Perfect Circle around for about six months one time.” I said smiling proudly. I wasn’t a groupie, but I followed the band to help promote. 

“Really? Nice. Maynard is a badass.” He said kissing my cheek.

“I know right?! Super nice too. Wanna go grocery shopping with me? You don’t have to.” I said realizing grocery shopping was kind of a couples thing. He didn’t even seem phased by it. 

“Sure. I have a meeting tonight at 7:30pm though.” He said grabbing his keys. 

“It won’t take me that long.” I said. “And we gotta stop and get coffee. I’m shaking.” I said putting my pants on. 

“Okay, I could use a jolt too.” He said heading for the front door. 

“Don’t forget that on Monday, you’ve got some press stuff to do. Entertainment Weekly at 1pm and Access Hollywood at 4pm.” I said checking my phone. 

“Okay, you coming with me for those? Technically you are my assistant until the movie premiere.” He smirked and ran his finger down the front of my shirt. Jared had requested with WB that they extend my contract technically. I didn’t mind. I just had to go to press meetings, premieres and some conventions. Shayla was more than willing to agree to it. She was so busy with 30STM. Plus, I was getting a 75K bonus. Jared and I had talked about it and we decided we could see each other since the acting part was over. 

“I suppose”. I said laughing. We headed out the door and surprisingly didn’t see any photographers. It reminded me of last night and I checked TMZ. Sure enough:

JARED LETO AND ASSISTANT/MAIN SQUEEZE SPOTTED

Suicide Squad star Jared Leto and his rumored girlfriend/assistant, Mandy Morrison were spotted at Los Angeles restaurant ‘Ink’. Rumors have been circulating about the two since last April when the two were spotted in Toronto getting all snuggly. Suicide Squad comes out August 5, 2016.

I showed the article to Jared. He shrugged.

“So? I’m caught with the hottest woman in Los Angeles. I’m proud.” He said as he put his arm around my shoulder. We parked at Whole Foods and walked in. Eyes of course followed us. Jared seemed unphased by it. Obviously used to it at this point. I picked up a lot of healthy “junk food”. When I got to the checkout lane, Jared was being the gentleman he is and got his credit card out. I smiled and put my arm around his waist. He put his arm around my shoulder and turned his head. There were photographers outside the window snapping pictures. They never let up. 

We went back to my place and unloaded all of the food. 

“Oh so uh, if you’re free tomorrow night after your press shit is done, my friend Natalie is coming over. She kinda wants to meet you.” I said. He looked up curiously. 

“Why?” He said smiling.

“Okay she MIGHT be a fan. But also because we are seeing each other.” I said putting my almond milk in the fridge. Fuck. I just realized what I said. I turned and shut the fridge door. “Or we’re not and I am psycho who assumes things.” I said, completely embarrassed. He smiled and put his arms around me.

“Would you be cool with it?” He said. 

“Well she is very pushy, I’d have no choice.” I said running my hands up his toned arms. He rolled his eyes. 

“No, I mean about us.” He said kissing my neck. 

“Well yeah. It’s not like a lot has changed. The only difference is we have sex now.” I said laughing. “Are you cool with it?” I asked.

“Mandy, I have wanted you everyday for the past six months. I’d say i’m cool with it.” He said smiling.  
“Well alright then.” I said as I wrapped my arms around his neck. We spent the rest of the afternoon being “official”.  
_____________________________________________________________________________  
Jared and I texted each other back and forth all night. I unpacked my stuff as best as I could so they place looked presentable. I hadn’t heard from Kara since we wrapped so I decided to text her. 

ME: What’s up lady?

KARA: Not much, what is up with you? I see you’ve been busy ;)

ME: Oh yeah. Very. You going to the press meets tomorrow?

KARA: Nope. My contract ended. I am taking some much needed time off. 

ME: Good for you! 

I didn’t hear back after that. I decided to turn on the TV and watch some Family Guy before I fell asleep on the couch. I woke up the next morning to my phone ringing. 

“Hey mom.” I said throwing my plush blanket off of me. 

“Hi sweetheart. How was the flight home?” She asked. 

“Oh it was good.” I said stretching. 

“So, I saw you on the news today.” She said with a smile in her voice. 

“You mean you saw me in the tabloids, Ma.” I said as I put a K-Cup in my Keurig. 

“Same thing. He’s VERY cute.” She said.

“Yeah, he is.” I said smiling.

“Your father and I just saw him in a movie we watched the other night, Lord of something. It was so sad, he dies in the end!” She yelled. 

“Lord of War, yeah I saw that.” I said grabbing my coffee. 

“So when do we get to meet him?” She asked.

“I don’t know. You guys coming out here anytime soon? We will be gone September 25th until October 1st, then I fly to New York for the next job I have lined up.” I said taking a sip.  
“Well, your brother wants to fly out there at some point and we thought we would join but we only want to go if you will be in town.” She said.

“I will be back on Halloween. It’s a short job.” I said. 

“How much?” She asked. I loved my mom, but she was very materialistic. 

“Good Lord mother.” I said. 

“Oh come on honey I am your mother, I am allowed to ask.” She said in a motherly tone. 

“Ugh, I make 20k in the two and a half weeks I am there.” I said rolling my eyes. 

“Very nice. Remember when you were making two hundred dollars in two weeks?” She said sounding proud. 

“Yeah, that sucked. I have come a long ways. Is Dad there?” I asked. 

“No honey, he has a meeting today. Do me a favor and call your brother soon? He never shuts up about his little sister.” she said.

“Yeah I will. I’m gonna go though. I have people coming over tonight.” I said taking out a bagel of the pantry.

“Jared?” She said with a smile. 

“Yes, and Natalie.” I said taking a bite. 

“Oh tell Natalie I say hello.” she said sweetly. 

“Yeah mom I will. Love you.” I said.

“Love you too baby.” She said hanging up. I looked around and made a mental plan on how to get my apartment all organized. After a few hours, it looked like home. I took a shower and when I was done I saw a couple texts:

JARED: Hey, I am bringing Shannon tonight, cool?  
Me: Of course! :) See you soon xo

NATALIE: Yo, still on for tonight? Is your dude coming?  
ME: Yeah and so is his brother Shannon.  
….  
NATALIE: Sweet. Hope he’s as hot as his brother.  
I shook my head and pulled out my clothes. Simple was my middle name. Skinny jeans, tank top. I left my hair down and straight. I didn’t bother with much makeup. Jared had mention during Squad days that he thought I looked the best without it. Circles under my eyes and all. 

My phone started ringing as I folded the blanket on the couch. 

“Hello?” I said nicely. 

“Hi Mandy? This is Maggie, Gotham Production Manager. How are you?” Maggie said sweetly. 

“Hi Maggie! I am great, how are you doing?” I said.

“Oh i’m great. Listen, I just wanted to talk with you and get you up to speed on production. Do you have a minute?” She asked.

“Sure!” I said as I grabbed a water out of my fridge. 

“Okay so since I am leaving in the middle of production, you are kinda going to be thrown in. Everyone from the cast to crew are very nice and cooperative. The producers don’t hang around much which is nice. Less pressure. I cut you a check and sent it via mail yesterday. A car is being sent to pick you up when you get here in a couple weeks. I have you set up at The Hyatt. Now you’ll only be here for two and a half weeks but we do 12 hours days at least. Is that okay?” She said hesitantly. 

“Oh definitely. I just wrapped Suicide Squad and we were pulling 16s.” I said pulling my hair out of my face. 

“Oh okay, so this is normal for you.” She laughed.

“Yes definitely.” I said. 

“Okay well, I think that is it. If you have any questions, please let me know.” She said.

“Thank you Maggie, I really appreciate it.” I said as I heard a knock at the door. I opened it and motioned for Jared and Shannon to come in. Jared wrapped his arms around my waist and put his chin on my shoulder. I gave a small wave and smile to Shannon. I hung up the phone and turned to kiss Jared. 

“Who was that?” He asked. 

“Maggie. I’m taking over for her on the Gotham set in a few weeks. Natalie will be here soon I think.” I said as I checked my phone. I noticed Shannon had an acoustic guitar in his hand. 

“You guys gonna serenade me?” I said giggling.

“Yes of course.” Shannon said smiling. “So I hear you are joining us for the remainder of the tour, that’s awesome. It’s about we had a chick come with us.” Shannon said sitting on the couch. 

“Yeah, it should be good fun. I will need a vacation before I go back to work.” I said as I sat on the opposite couch. “Natalie is gonna fan girl the fuck out when she sees you J.” I said giggling. 

“Why? He’s not even cute.” Shannon said grinning. Jared smacked him upside the head. 

“Are you kidding? I’m fuckin’ adorable.” Jared said while looking at me for approval. 

“Yes you are. You handsome man you.” I said while nodding. Natalie knocked on the door.

“Yo open up bitch!” Natalie yelled on the other side of the door. I laughed and opened it and pulled her into a hug. 

“Okay Natalie this is Jared and Shannon.” I said linking my arm with hers. 

“Nice to meet you Natalie.” Jared said holding his hand out. She barely looked at him while she shook it. Her eyes were locked with Shannons. 

“Hey.” Shannon said while shaking her hand. 

“Hey to you.” Natalie said in her Natalie tone. I looked at Jared and he grinned at me. 

“Um, Jared. You wanna help me put some stuff away?” I said pulling his arm down the hall. Shannon and Natalie looked like they wanted to be alone after meeting only 30 seconds ago. 

I pulled Jared in my room and started laughing. 

“Holy shit. You could cut the sexual tension with a knife.” I laughed. He laughed and lifted me onto my dresser. 

“I have a little bit of sexual tension myself.” He said as he kissed me roughly. 

“Oh yeah?” I said grinning against his kiss. Tonight was going to be fun.


	12. Gypsy

Chapter 12: Gypsy

I woke up the next morning with Jared lying next to me. He was on his stomach and his arms tucked under his pillow. I smiled and got up to put some clothes on. I went out to the kitchen to make some coffee when I heard the guest bedroom door open. I peeked around the corner and saw Natalie.

“Morning loser.” I said smiling. “Coffee?” I said not looking up.

“Yeah, please.” She said sweetly. I looked up in shock.

“Please? Are you feeling okay?” I said curiously. She smiled a big grin at me and I saw Shannon emerge from the guest room putting his shirt on. My jaw dropped and I grinned at Natalie.

“Hey Mandy, let J know I will see him tonight.” Shannon said to me as he pulled his keys out. He saw Natalie and gave her a long deep kiss. “I will be seeing you later.” Shannon said as he smacked Natalie’s ass. She nodded and kissed his cheek before he headed out the door. 

“You slut.” I said smiling. 

“Holy fuck. He’s amazing!” She said taking a sip of her coffee. 

“Clearly! You can’t stop smiling! But uh, what about Vince?” I asked frowning. 

“It wasn’t going to work out anyways. He is moving to San Fransisco in a couple days.” She said smiling. 

“Well, yay! When do you see him again?” I asked. 

“Tomorrow night.” She said sighing. Jared came out of the bedroom stretching. 

“Hey you. Coffee?” I asked him as he kissed my cheek. 

“Nah, I gotta get going. Where’s Shannon?” He asked looking at the couch. 

“He had to leave.” Natalie said with a suggestive smile. Jared looked at her and smiled. 

“Good night for everyone eh?” He said winking at me. I blushed. 

“Definitely. But hey, I gotta get going. I’ll talk to you later Man. Nice meeting you Jared!” Natalie said as she left. He waved and faced me. 

“Well aren’t they adorable?” He asked as I sipped my coffee. I nodded.  
“Yeah, they are. They seem to really like each other.” I said smiling. 

“So hey, question. Would you want to be my date this Friday?” He asked. He assumed I knew what he was talking about. I reached around for my planner and saw he had the iHeartMusic Festival that night. Shayla gave me his schedule for the next few months since I extended. 

“Sure. Should I wear a pink dress so I match your hair?” I said joking. He grabbed me by my hips and lifted me on the counter. 

“Oh yeah? Gonna be like that?” He said as I laughed. I kissed him despite my laughter and ran my hands through his hair. He stopped tickeling me and stared into my eyes. 

“Where have you been this whole time?” He said seriously. 

“Around. Working my way to you.” I said. He kissed me deeply. My knees felt weak even though I was sitting on the counter. He took my face in his hands and sighed into me. As happy as he made me, I was terrified. I had fallen for this guy and I knew he had the ultimate power to hurt me. It was too late, I was hooked.   
____________________________________________________________________________  
“Mandy, babe you’re killing me. We are going to be late!” Jared yelled at me from inside my kitchen. Such a drama queen, we were so not late. 

I pulled my stilettos on and grabbed my favorite chandelier earrings. I decided to wear a shimmering gold strapless tank with washed out skinny jeans and black stilettos. I waved my hair and put on a tiny bit of makeup. I grabbed my clutch and emerged from my bathroom. I walked into the kitchen to see Jared texting. He looked up from his phone and did a double take. 

“Wow. How am I supposed to keep my hands off you all night when you’re dressed like that?” He said as pulled me into his arms. I laughed. 

“Find the willpower J. You’ve got it.” I said tapping him on the head and looking at my phone. 

“Come on, the car is waiting on front.” He said as he led me out the door. 

We got to the Festival and they immediately wanted Jared’s picture. We walked the carpet and most of the paparazzi wanted me in the photo also. I was surprised. I was a nobody. Then again, it was the first time Jared and I had gone to a public event together. We locked fingers and followed Shayla. She instructed Jared to the back so he could introduce Kanye West. Shayla took my arm into hers and had me follow her to the secured area backstage. Jared looked so adorable. He tried to get the crowd going first, then he introduced Kanye West. I wasn’t a huge fan of Kanye, but Jared seemed to like him. After he was done, Jared came backstage and grabbed my hand. Shayla was helping the sound guys unhook him. Jared and I hung out in the VIP area the rest of the night. He introduced me to some people who I thought would be total jerks, but they were shockingly sweet. Kanye West was actually very humble. Ryan Seacrest made me laugh. Jared seemed to be showing me off, which I liked. As Jared and I were getting ready to leave the after party, I see Miley Cyrus spot Jared. She had on a white fishnet dress with little black pasties on. 

“Jared!” Miley said, basically pushing me aside and pulling Jared into a hug. The bitch in me wanted to punch her in the throat. Jared looked at me apologetically. I knew he had to play nice. She rubbed on his arms a bit then he politely said he had to get going. He grabbed my hand then out of nowhere, Miley pulled his face to the side and kissed him. It was short but just long enough to make my blood boil. Jared squeezed my hand. He could tell I wasn’t happy. We got into the black SUV and I immediately turned my head to the window. He sat close to me and tried to lace his fingers with mine. I accepted, but I wasn’t very responsive. 

“I’m sorry. She can be very grabby.” He said trying to look at my eyes. I turned to him, it was better to know the truth. 

“Have you two…?” I said folding my arms. He nodded. 

“It was just a few times. Last year. It wasn’t serious or anything I swear. It was just a hook-up.” He said with puppy dog eyes. Dammit. “Please don’t worry about her. She honestly is just a friend.” He said kissing my shoulder. I nodded and kissed him softly. I may have dropped it for now, but I wouldn’t forget that kiss I saw between Jared and Miley Cyrus.   
_____________________________________________________________________________  
That night, I spent the night at Jared’s. His military compound was amazing. It had been completely re-done. It was also huge. The next morning I woke up and felt the bed to my left. IT was empty. Then I could vaguely hear the sound of Jared’s vocals and drums. I got up and slipped one of Jareds oversized shirts on and put a Listerine strip on my tongue. I headed out to the living room. I saw coffee cups and donuts sitting on the table and I followed the music. I entered the room to see Jared, Shannon and Tomo sitting around talking music. As they looked up, Jared pulled me into a hug and kissed my forehead. 

“Oh shit, did we wake you?” Shannon said setting his sticks down. 

“Oh no not at all! You guys practicing?” I said looking at Jared. 

“Yeah but we are about finished. Just getting ready for the Dubai show.” He said then looking at Tomo.

“You must be Mandy, Jared hasn’t been able to shut up about you for six months straight.” He said getting up to shake my hand. I smiled and took his hand. 

“Aw, he must like me then.” I said. “It’s nice to finally meet you in person and not through Skype and Facetime.” I said smiling. He nodded.  
“Well you will have some company when you come with us. My wife Vicki will be joining us.” He said checking his phone. 

“Oh thank God. I really didn’t want to be the only girl.” I said pulling my hair back. 

“Oh you wouldn’t be.” Shannon said chuckling. Jared eyed him something fierce. I wasn’t stupid. I perfectly aware of the 30STM groupies that seemed to show up at every show, even international. Shayla was kind enough to fill me in on how things work on tour. 

“Oh yeah I am up to speed. I know this will be a big change for you.” I said eyeing Jared. Jared looked at me with remorseful eyes. I knew Jared had a certain way of life before I came along. I had read that Jared “didn’t do girlfriends”. I kept meaning to bring it up but things were going so well and it took a long time for me to get to this spot with him. 

“Yeah, it will be. But I am more than cool with it. Anyway, you want some coffee?” He asked me as he pulled me into the hallway. Once we were down the hall a ways, he pulled me into this entrancing kiss. My shirt rode up a bit as he pulled me as close as he could. I buried my hands in his hair as he ran his tongue along my lip. I shivered and before I knew it, we were in the kitchen. I pulled away and looked into his eyes. 

“Are you sure you’re okay with me coming along?” I asked as he kissed my neck. He pulled back to look at me. 

“Of course. Why else would I have asked you to come?” He said confused. I shrugged. 

“I know it’s just I know you don’t really do this relationship kind of stuff and I don’t want you to rush into it.” I said. Was I trying to convince him or myself?

“You’re not rushing me into it. We waited almost 6 months before we started whatever this is. It’s taken what seems like forever to get you to be mine. Mandy, I have been with tons of women. I won’t lie to you about that. I have been avoiding relationships like the plague for years. But when I met you, I can’t explain it but you made me want to change. When I met you six months ago, almost instantly I felt something I haven’t felt in a very long time. I felt like I couldn’t be away from you for more than an hour without feeling like I would go crazy. I won’t lie, it scared the hell out of me. But i’m ready for it. I’m ready for you.” He said in a very convinced voice. I felt like I could cry, but I didn’t like to cry. I nodded. 

“I couldn’t have said it better myself.” I said back. He pulled me into a hug. It was at that moment that I felt like all of my fears and doubts were gone. As he hugged me tight, I felt like we had been looking and waiting for each other. We had finally found peace within each other.


	13. If So

Chapter 13: If So

I woke up the next morning to Jared kissing my back. I smiled and stretched.

“Time to wake up beautiful. Our flight is scheduled for noon.” He said in between kisses on my shoulder blades.I sat up and sat on the edge of Jared’s California King bed. 

We were leaving for Dubai and I was beyond excited. I had been really digging Jared’s music and was actually becoming a fan. Jared and I went out to dinner with Tomo, Vicki and Shannon the night prior. Vicki and I hit it off instantly. We had the taste in music, movies and the same sense of humor. Plus, we both loved animals. It was going to be nice having her on tour with me. Jared and I drank our coffee, in silence as he texted with his manager and Shayla. I was checking my social media accounts and it was becoming clear I was going to have to delete them. I was getting hundreds of friends requests on Facebook. I had tons of hateful and also nice tweets from people. I guess this is what happens when you have a newly public love life with a celebrity. I checked TMZ and found tons of pictures of Jared and I at the iHeart Music Festival. We looked pretty damn cute together. I smiled and kept scrolling. 

“What are you smiling at?” Jared asked suspiciously. I shrugged. 

“Nothing. When should we leave?” I asked seeing that it was 11am. 

“Probably now.” He said as put our coffee cups in the kitchen sink. The driver rang the doorbell and Jared started handing him our bags. A lot of my stuff was at Jared’s at this point. It was becoming sort of silly since I stayed there almost every night. But I wasn’t going to bring it up. That was a big and scary step that I wasn’t ready to come to. Jared and I finally got to the airport and got on the private plane. Tomo, Vicki and Shannon were already on board along with the band manager, Irving and Stephen their touring bassist. While the guys and Irving went over some stuff, Vicki and I went into one of the rooms on the plane to watch movies.

“So how long have you and Jared been together?” Vicki asked. 

“Not long. We’ve been, uh, friends since Suicide Squad started production. I was his on set assistant.” I said smiling. Her eyes widened. 

“OHHH. That makes sense. I remember he had come back to Los Angeles for a meet and greet and he left suddenly and when Tomo asked why he said something about a girl. You are the VIP girl!” She said laughing. I blushed.

“Yeah we have been pretty fond of each other for a while. I just didn’t want to get into anything while we were working together. He needed to concentrate on the role and I really wanted that job. But we agreed once it ended, we would pick up where we sort of left off. And here we are.” I said smiling.   
After Vicki and I had watched our fair share of movies, Jared finally came in. Vicki had fallen asleep and I was just about ready to. 

“Hey you. You ready to go to bed? It’s 2am. We still have a few hours before we land.” He said brushing my hair out of my face. I nodded as he helped me out of my chair. We walked to the back of the aircraft where there were a few rooms. I collapsed on the nearest bed and Jared followed. I opened my eyes briefly to see him staring at me. I smiled. 

“What?” I asked into the pillow.

“You are so beautiful like this. Hair all messed up, no makeup on. I love it.” He said kissing my shoulder. I smiled. He looked like he wanted to say something else but he couldn’t. We still hadn’t said the L word yet. Usually I was fine with that, but I felt like holding it back was just a lie at this point. But the stubborn and fearful little girl in me wasn’t going to say it first. We slept for a bit before Irving knocked and said we were landing and to get to the main cabin. 

Once we landed, I was amazed. Dubai was absolutely beautiful. After we all went through customs, we headed to the front. There were cameras and fans everywhere. There was so much screaming. I think I even saw a few tears. Jared and the guys were very sweet. They signed a few autographs and took some photos with fans. We finally reached the SUV and the bodyguards all but shoved us in. I took a deep breath and smiled at Jared.

“Wow! That was crazy!” I said fixing my hair. Vicki laughed. 

“Get used to it. They love these guys.” She said checking her phone. 

We reached the Raffles Dubai hotel and my mouth dropped. Jared helped me out of the SUV as security followed us to the front desk. Shayla and Irving checked us all in. The place was huge. I could only imagine what it looked like at night. Jared kissed my cheek as I looked around. He smiled. 

“It’s beautiful isn’t it?” He said slipping an arm around me. I nodded and scoffed. 

“Beautiful doesn’t even cover it.” I said.

“Tell me about it.” He said looking at me. I smiled. 

“You are so sweet.” I said kissing him. I heard Shannon make a mocking aww sound and I stopped. Jared turned to talk to Irving. Vicki and Tomo went up to their room and Shannon joined Jared’s conversation with Irving. 

“Okay go get some sleep, we have a big night tonight. Sound check at 7pm, show at 9pm.” Irving said while putting his phone in his pocket. Jared nodded and led me up to our room. It was gorgeous and spacious. I knew Jared had to be tired so breaking in the room was probably not going to happen. The show was tonight and we didn’t leave for Spain until tomorrow night. I was hoping Jared and I could explore but I wasn’t going to count on it. This was going to be the first time i’d see him perform live. I was very excited but also a tad nervous. Vicki had filled me in on the insanity of their shows. The meet and greets apparently were never fun for the girlfriends/wives. Lots of groupies. I trusted Jared, but then again I didn’t.   
____________________________________________________________________________  
Once sound check was done, we all hung out in the back stage room. The guys rehearsed a bit and got hooked up again. I took a swig of my water as Jared approached me. I could hear the crowd outside. 

“Wish me luck, I will be back soon.” He said as he kissed me. 

“Good luck, you’ll do great.” I said smiling. He ran out on stage behind Tomo and the other guys. He looked so adorable. He seemed to have so much fun on stage. There were people going crazy out in the audience. I saw one girl take her top off and throw it at Jared. His face was priceless. 

After the show was over, Jared came running up to me. He was covered in sweat and was carrying a towel and water bottle. He lifted me into a hug and kissed me. 

“You were amazing!” I said kissing him repeatedly. 

“Thank you.” He said smiling. 

“Dude, that crowd was insane!” Shannon said grabbing a water bottle from his assistant. 

“Yeah no kidding!” Jared said smiling. It was nice to him smile this much. When he was doing Suicide Squad, I didn’t get to see it much unless it was in the form of an evil grin. 

It was time for the meet and greet. Vicki and I decided to head back to the hotel, I didn’t really want to stick around and see beautiful women throw themselves at my dude. Shayla pulled me aside. 

“Don’t worry. Nothing will happen. He’s crazy about you. I will have him back tonight no later than 2am.” She said putting her arm around my shoulder.

“Thank you Shayla. I don’t what I would do without you.” I said hugging her. 

“Well sadly you’ll have to figure it out because I am going to back to Los Angeles for the rest of the tour. I have to hold down the fort for him until you guys get back.” She said with a sympathetic look.

“It’s cool, I can handle him.” I said winking at her. She laughed and rolled her eyes. A sound guy approached her and I turned to Vicki. 

“You ready to head back?” She asked. I nodded as she turned to Tomo. I walked up behind Jared and put my arms around his waist. He turned to face me. 

“I will see you later okay?” I said. He nodded.

“Okay, be careful yeah?” He said as he took my face into his hands and kissed me. It was a short but intense kiss. At that moment, my insecurities were gone.


	14. Without Fear

Chapter 14: Without Fear

After Vicki and I had gotten back to the hotel, we decided we were both tired. I went to my room and slipped out of my jeans and shirt. I got under the covers and snuggled up to the pillow next to me. I was half asleep when I heard the hotel room door open quietly. I felt Jared slide into bed with me and I slowly opened my eyes. He was lying next to me and staring at me. 

“Sorry, didn’t mean to wake you.” He said smiling. 

“It’s okay, I was only half asleep. How was it?” I asked trying to not sound like I was interrogating him. 

“Same old, same old. Signed some stuff for people, hugged a lot then I came here to you.” He said with a reassuring voice. “Hey, I know this stuff freaks you out. But you should know that I wouldn’t hurt you. I have fucked up before and I promised myself I wouldn’t screw it up with another person I love.” He said, then realizing what he said. I sat up letting the sheets fall off of me. 

“What did you say?” I said sort of in shock. He rubbed his face in frustration. 

“I love you okay? I love you more than I thought I could love anyone. I didn’t want to admit it to myself, but I fell in love with you the moment I met you.” He said sitting up with me. “Say something.” He said grabbing my hand. 

“Are you sure?” I said looking at him. He looked down. 

“Yeah, pretty damn sure. I haven’t felt this way in a long time and I recognize the feeling. But if you don’t, it’s okay.” He said running his hand through his hair. 

“Are you kidding Jared? I am completely crazy about you. Waiting to have you was torture. I love you too, more than you know. I just am terrified of you hurting me. You have the power to do that, and it scares me.” I said looking at him.

“I’m scared too. Like I said, I haven’t felt this way in a long time. But it’s there and it’s not going to go away, whether I am ready for it or not.” He said. 

“Well, we can we freaked out together I guess.” I said smiling. He chuckled and kissed me. We fell asleep snuggled next to each other. It was the best sleep I had ever had.   
_____________________________________________________________________________  
The tour ended. I was dreading it. I knew that as soon as I got back, I would have to leave for New York for the Gotham shoot. I knew Jared was going to be busy so I hadn’t asked him to come with me. The shoot was only going to be a few weeks, but I was going to miss J. We had just gotten back to L.A. and I was leaving for NYC in two days. Jared and I pulled up to my apartment building. 

“You going to hang out for a bit?” I asked taking my seatbelt off. 

“Nah, I gotta go home and unpack. But I will see you tomorrow.” He said reaching over to kiss me. We were both exhausted and Jared and I had this habit of not getting any sleep when we were together, if you catch my drift. I kissed him and got my bag. I waved and got to my apartment. I opened the door and saw a vase on my counter full of red roses. I smiled thinking Jared had them sent. I saw a post it note by them:

M,

These were dropped off a couple days ago. Food for them is by sink. I swear I will clean up the mess I made in the guest room. I won’t be answering my phone for a couple days since Shannon is back. Love ya douche. 

Love, Nat

I smiled and opened the card in the flowers. 

Hey gorgeous,   
I miss you. I know you are with Leto, but consider giving us another shot?

-Joel

Just as I was getting ready to throw the flowers and card away, Jared walked in the front door. 

“Hey babe, you left your glasses…” He said looking at the flowers. “Who are those from?” He said casually but kind of suspiciously. I handed him the card. He carefully read it and then crumbled up in his fist. “Phone.” He said holding out his hand. I handed him my phone and noticed a familiar look on his face. It was then that I realized that no matter how much time had passed since wrapping Squad, The Joker was somewhat still apart of him. He dialed and waited. I knew better than to try and stop him. 

“Joel?” He said harshly. “Yeah it’s Jared Leto. Do me a favor and leave Mandy alone. You clearly know she’s mine. If you know what is good for you, you’ll forget about her.” He said in a different tone. There was a pause, I wasn’t sure what Joel was saying but Jared looked to be getting even more angry. “Yeah? Well I don’t care. I can give her more than you ever could. See you at the premier bro.” Jared said while ending the call. I nervously wrapped my arms around Jared’s waist. I couldn’t see his face so I wasn’t sure what was going on in his head yet. He turned around in my arms and grabbed my face roughly. He crashed his lips to mine and pushed me back against the wall. His tongue was urgently fighting against mine. I ran my fingers through his hair as he reached down and unbuttoned my jeans. He ripped off my jeans without breaking our kiss, how he did that I will never know. He pulled down his crazy patterned pants and entered me hard. I gasped and looked into his eyes. He was claiming me. After we were done, he held me up against the wall so I wouldn’t fall over. I couldn’t feel my legs. He grabbed either side of my face and looked into my eyes. 

“You’re mine, Mandy. And I’m yours. Got it?” He said panting. I nodded and kissed him again. Jared had just made it clear, we were in this for the long haul and no one else was getting in the way.   
______________________________________________________________________________  
Jared and I spent the day together. We headed to his house to meet up with the guys. When we walked in, everyone was already there. I saw Vicki and Natalie talking so naturally, I tackled Natalie.

“Hooker! I missed you. Thanks for taking care of my place while I was gone.” I said hugging her. 

“No problem yo. You leave again tomorrow right?” She asked taking a sip of her water. 

“Yeah, you able to check in water my plants?” I asked. She nodded. 

“Yeah, I will have some help.” She said peeking over at Shannon who had been eyeing her. 

“So, you two really diggin’ each other still eh?” I said winking at her. 

“Didn’t you hear Shannon the whole time we were gone? He wouldn’t shut up about her.” Vicki said laughing. 

“Damn, I feel like Cupid.” I said smiling. She nodded. 

“Yeah, he is pretty much the shit.” Natalie said checking her phone. She smiled and looked over at Shannon. Obviously a dirty text from across the room. 

The night was fun. We all sat around and talked while the guys jammed a bit. I really didn’t want to leave Jared. I was dreading it so much. My flight was at 10am the next day so I decided to head back home. 

“Hey babe, I am going to go home. I gotta get up early so I don’t miss my flight.” I said whispering in his ear. He got up. 

“Okay I’ll walk you out.” He said putting an arm around my shoulder. We walked to my car and I blurted it out. 

“Come with me to New York.” I said like word vomit. He smiled.   
“I can’t babe. I have press to do for Squad. I wish I could.” He said sincerely. I nodded. 

“I know. I understand. I’m just gonna miss the hell outta you.” I said wrapping my arms around his neck. He leaned his forehead against mine. 

“You’ll be back before you know it. I will miss you more though.” He said sighing. I nodded again and opened my car door. I kissed him goodbye. 

“Call me when you land, yeah?” He said waving. 

“Of course.” I said smiling. 

“I love you.” He said sweetly. 

“I love you too.” I said back smiling. I left the property and headed home. God damn, I was going to miss him. I got home and started packing. They were sending a car for me in the morning bright and early. I decided to go to sleep. 

The next morning, I woke up to my phone vibrating. The car was waiting for me outside, I had overslept. Awesome. I threw on some clothes and grabbed my bag. When we got to the airport I was surprised to see a couple paparazzi snapping photos of me. I went through security and got on my flight. It went pretty smoothly and when I got to NYC, I saw my driver with my name on his sign and I waved to him. He politely got my bags and directed me to the car. New York was amazing, I had only been here once when I was younger. We pulled up to the hotel and I checked in. My room was amazing, but it felt empty. I wished so badly Jared was here. 

I took a shower and got ready. I had to report to set in an hour. My driver took me to the WB lot where we were filming. I had to admit I was pretty excited. Gotham was the one TV series I made time for to watch. Maggie was on set as I showed my pass and got through security. 

“Hi! Are you Mandy?” She asked. 

“Yes! Maggie I presume?” I said smiling. 

“That’s me! Listen I really appreciate you coming out. I have some family stuff I have to take care of and we are so close to wrapping for this season. And I hear you are the best.” She said checking her phone. 

“I try.” I said laughing. She introduced me to the cast and crew that was there for that day. Everyone was very laid back and down to earth. It made me feel very at home. I seemed to click with Robin Lord Taylor who played The Penguin. He was very sweet. After I had taken my last orders from the AD, after a 12 hour shift, the director called it a wrap. So I decided to head back to the hotel. Some of the cast and crew were going out for dinner and drinks but I was exhausted.   
I got to my room and set my bag and key down on the desk. I look up and see Jared sitting in the chair across from me. I nearly attacked him. He stood up as I screamed and jumped into his arms. 

“BABY! What are you doing here?!” I squealed hugging him tightly. 

“Surprise!” he said giving me a kiss. 

“I thought you had press this week!” I said releasing him. 

“Got re-scheduled. We aren’t running press until January now because of some re-shooting issues.” He said smiling. 

“Wait they are re-shooting? Why and who?” I said confused. 

“Don’t worry, not me. Just some scenes with the rest of them. So I am going to stay here with you until you guys wrap.” He said grabbing me into his arms again. I smiled and hugged him again tightly. 

“This makes me so happy. We would love to have you on set! Same saga and everything.” I said running my hands through his hair. 

“Sure, that would be cool. I will probably meet up with some NY friends tomorrow but Saturday sure.” he said slowly leading me to the bed. He didn’t know how to be subtle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I know everything is AWESOME between these two right now, but something big is coming. Things will get complicated when Suicide Squad does press and premiers. So get ready ;)


	15. Holding On To You

Chapter 15: Holding On To You

I walked on set and greeted everyone with a giant smile. 

“Someone’s happy.” Frank the camera guy said as he set up. 

“Yeah, happy happy. Where is Louis?” I asked getting my bluetooth ear piece out. 

“Yeah he’s in trailer #2.” He said almost dropping a piece of equipment. I nodded and headed to trailer 2. I knocked. Louis, the first AD, answered looking pleased to see me. 

“Thank God you are here. Okay so today is a tad messy. About half our call sheet is running late today.” He said taking a sip of coffee. 

“Eh, it’s okay. We are all used to working the long hours.” I said smiling and checking my phone. Luckily, this was a broad based cast so I worked with most of the main cast. They are all pretty low maintanence so I don’t mind the long hours. 

“Uh huh. You’re just all calm because you’re dude is here.” He said smiling.

“How did you know?!” I said. 

“Well he’s plastered all over TMZ in NYC. Dude dresses weird.” He said chuckling. I laughed. 

“One of the things I love about him. He is not afraid to be his crazy ass self. Just like me.” I said getting a water bottle out of the fridge. 

“You guys getting serious? Weren’t you guys working together on Suicide Squad?” He asked scrolling through his phone. 

“Yeah, but we agreed to keep it professionally until we wrapped. He had to concentrate and I take my work very seriously and not dating the cast is a rule of mine. I sort of broke it a couple times on Squad.” I said smirking. 

“I hear ya. Well, we would love to have him on set. He will set the mood. Okay let’s go through the call sheet for today.” He said grabbing his papers. 

“Alright, so from 9am-3pm we have scenes 24A-32B on set 1 with Ben and Donal. Set 2 we have Ben and David so we will have to juggle Ben back and forth. Tonight we have everyone. Poor Ben will be here for over 12 hours.” I said looking through my papers. 

“He usually doesn’t mind. We can only keep David and Camren for so long today since they are minors.” He said. I nodded. We completed our map for the day and I got the trailers ready. I was starting to learn who liked what pretty quick. To be a good assistant, you have to be able to pick this up fast or you don’t make it. My pocket vibrated and I got a text. 

JARED: Dinner tonight?   
ME: Sure :) We should be wrapping around 8pm or so. Meet you at the room later. How did you get a key to my room anyway?  
JARED:I have my ways ;-) See you soon xo

I smiled and got started with the day. I loved the Gotham cast. They were very down to earth which was the best type of cast to work with. They kept is simple and simple meant less stress. We were halfway through filming the second session when T.J. the director called cut and told everyone to take a 5. I asked my cast if they needed anything and they of course all said no. 

“So Mandy, I hear your man candy is in town.” Camren said looking up from her phone. I smiled. 

“Yes as a matter of fact he is. He will only be here a few days I think.” I said turning my blue tooth off. 

“That was nice of him to come out here for you.” Robin said taking a sip of his water. 

“Yeah, he is great. Very sweet.” I said smiling. “It’s a little scary.” I said.

“Why scary?” Camren said. 

“Well, he’s a lady man for sure. And we are close to 20 years apart.” I said looking down. 

“So? I’m only 17 and I would go for him.” Camren said laughing. I giggled. 

“Yeah. The looks definitely play a factor. But he is so sweet. He takes his work so seriously, I sort of hated him at one point because I had no idea who Jared was, I just knew The Joker. And apparently we have a sequel of that coming in 2019. So I may lose him for a year or so when and if that happens.” I said. 

“Method acting can be scary.” Robin said while makeup gave him a retouch. 

“Yeah no kidding. I have never worked with anyone who takes it as seriously as he does. He was The Joker 90% of the time and so it took awhile to get to know Jared. Don’t get me wrong, it was hard to keep it professional. Once we wrapped though…” I said.

“It was game on huh?” Camren said smirking. 

“Definitely.” I said as I scribbled on my notepad. The rest of the shoot for the day went well. Once 8pm hit, I took any last orders for the cast and took a cab to the hotel. I walked upstairs and walked into my room. Jared was sitting at the desk on his phone. He looked up and gave me a one second gesture. 

“Yeah we can do that. It will be tight but i’m all for it. E-mail me the schedule and I will take a look. Okay thanks Shayla.” He said, then hung up the phone. He got up and smiled at me as he took me in his arms. 

“Hey you.” He said kissing me quickly. “How was filming today?” He asked swaying us back and forth. 

“It was good. I am starving. What was Shayla talking about?” I asked. 

“It looks like after the Squad premiere in August, we are doing the Camp Mars thing. Wanna go?” He asked bending down to kiss my neck. 

“I mean I was looking at some vacation time this summer. I guess I could squeeze you in.” I said smirking. 

“Oh you’ll squeeze me in huh?” He said throwing me on the bed. I laughed and yelped when he landed on top of me. He kissed me and ran his hands through my hair. I broke the kiss and laughed. 

“Not that I don’t want to continue this, but I am seriously going to eat your face in about two seconds.” I said seriously. He laughed. 

“Okay, what do you feel like?” He asked, still on top of me. 

“New York style pizza of course.” I said smiling. 

“Hmm...Okay I know this place. It’s called Viva Herbal. You’ll love it.” He said helping me off the bed. 

“Sounds good, just let me change real quick.” I said slipping my shirt off. Jared quickly turned his back to me as I started to unbutton my jeans. 

“Um, you shy J? You’ve seen all this before.” I said laughing. 

“Yeah exactly. If I see you like that we aren’t leaving this room.” He said back. I chuckled and changed into flare jeans, docs and A Perfect Circle shirt. My usual get up. I took my hair out of its ponytail and ran my fingers through it to get the kinks out. 

“Okay it’s safe.” I said grabbing my wallet. 

“It’s never safe.” Jared said smirking at me. I rolled my eyes and laughed. I couldn’t help but notice that he sounded like The Joker when he said those words. It made me wonder if that role was now a part of him in some way. I heard that can happen to those who practice method acting. I shrugged it off as we headed out into the city.   
___________________________________________________________________________  
As we walked out of the pizza joint, paparazzi started bombarding us. Jared took my hand and pulled me as close as he could to him. We walked through the crowd to the car and got in as fast as we could. 

“Okay I give em, 20 minutes tops to post those pictures.” I said checking my phone. He nodded. 

“Yeah. TMZ is usually the first to post.” He said putting his arm around me. “Does it bother you?” He asked kissing my cheek. 

“Nah, not really. I am sure it will eventually but I am sort of used to it. Not pictures of me of course, I’m a nobody. But working on set with A listers can get intense paparazzi wise.” I said scrolling through my phone. He grabbed my chin and forced me to look at him.

“Nobody? Mandy, you are everything. Everything to me at least.” He said darting his eyes to my lips. I felt like I MIGHT cry so I started to bite my lip to prevent that from happening. I don’t cry. Ever. I kissed him then pulled away. 

“Really?” I said back. 

“Yes. You are the best thing to happen to me. You are putting me on the right track. Keeping me in line.” He said smiling. 

“Wow. I just realized, you are doing the same to me.” I said in a shocked voice. No man has ever made me feel this grounded. But I couldn’t shake the feeling like a storm was coming.


	16. Always

Chapter 16: Always

Gotham was getting closer to wrapping, but Jared had to fly back to Los Angeles soon. I was flying back home only two days after him but I still hated it. I stared while he got his stuff packed in our room. 

“I mean I guess it’s nice because I won’t have to deal with your bear like snore.” I said smirking, trying not to sound sad. He looked at me and laughed. 

“You’re joking right? You snore louder than anyone I know.” He said grabbing his stuff out of the bathroom. I shook my head and laid back on the bed. 

“Alright so when are going to be back?” He said grabbing his bag. I stood up getting ready for the dreaded goodbye. 

“On the 18th, so in a few days. We wrap on the 17th and then I have an early morning flight back the next day. What are you going to do while I am stuck here?” I asked trying not sound prying. 

“Eh, I think Shan and I are going to Knotts Berry Farm tomorrow. Halloween themed and everything, I gotta go.” He said. I nodded.

“That’s cool. I will see you when I get back then?” I said wrapping my arms around him. 

“Yeah. Just call me when you get back.” He said kissing me. 

“Okay I will. Be safe yeah?” I said eyeing him. 

“Always.” He said smiling. He left the room and I looked around it. Felt, empty. I had gotten so used to being with him. Even when we were apart we spoke non stop but the next two days were going to be crazy, I wouldn’t have time to talk to anyone. I decided to go to bed, it was already 1am and I had to be on set at 8am. I fell asleep very quick. Jared didn’t let me sleep much while he was here.   
___________________________________________________________________________  
I got to set the next day and just like I predicted, things were insane. Cast was getting antsy because we were wrapping and the producers were on set checking things out. With it being a crazy and stressful day, the cast and crew decided to throw a wrap party on our last night. I wore my usual of course. 

“So are you flying back to LA tomorrow?” Robin asked me. 

“Yeah, going to take a bit of a break. Squad really drained me. Then coming here after touring with J, I could use one.” I said taking a drink of my beer. Robin nodded. 

“I am excited to wrap. I have a lot to catch up on.” He said smiling. 

“Yeah, you’ll have time. You guys don’t start filming again for a while.” I said. 

“Are you coming back for season three?” He asked as some of the crew and cast came over to join us. 

“I haven’t decided. WB sent me an email saying I was referred to continue but I told them I would have to get back to them.” I said looking down. I didn’t really want to tell them I didn’t want to because of Jared. 

“Yeah, you should though. It’s only a couple months away from your dude.” Camren said. 

“Yeah, I will think about it.” I said checking my phone. I had a text from Natalie and Jared. 

JARED: I miss you. I can’t wait to see you.   
NATALIE: Hey ho bag, we are getting together at Shannon’s tomorrow night and Jared said you are coming back tomorrow, so you better go. I will be devastated if you don’t….

I smiled. I missed Natalie. She really was my best friend. Sure, she was vulgar and offensive but she always had my back. I was surprised she was going so fast with Shannon. She was a lot like me except she actually would start relationships, they just never lasted for more than a few days. Vince was the longest, and she hated him. She seemed different with Shannon. She seemed happy. I hadn’t had a whole lot of time to get to know Shannon. On tour, he was super busy so I didn’t know him as well as I would have liked to. But I approved. 

I was talking to the sound guys when Ben got on the microphone. 

“Attention! Hey everyone I just want to thank the entire cast and crew for all of the hard work. We have all worked so hard to make this show awesome and I think it’s working. With all of that being said, I want all of you to take a look at Mandy and give her the saddest puppy dog eyes you can so she comes back to us for season three!” Ben said as he pointed at me. I turned bright red and laughed. Everyone clapped and gave me sad eyes. 

“We love ya Mandy and you kept all of us in line. We hope you come back.” He said as he put the microphone down and clapped with everyone else. I laughed. 

“We will see!” I yelled to everyone and smiled. The rest of the wrap party was awesome. We all got along really well. I decided to head out at 2am, since I had such an early flight. As much as I was going to miss NYC, I was excited to go home. I missed my bed. I missed Jared.   
_____________________________________________________________________________  
I walked in my apartment and set my bags down. All of my mail had been set on the counter by Natalie. I looked over at my plant, which was now dying. I shook my head. She sucks at taking care of things. I sat on the couch and got my phone out. I dialed Jared. 

“Hey gorgeous.” He said on the other line. I smiled. 

“Heeyyy. I am back.” I said.

“Nice. You’re coming over tonight right?” He said.

“Yeah, I have to. Natalie will kill me if I don’t show.” I said smiling. 

“Okay, I can’t wait to see you.” He said back.

“Same here. I’ll see you soon.” I said as I hung up. I decided to take a shower so I didn’t smell like an airplane. I changed into a white Sublime shirt and skinny jeans. I put on my black Chucks and left my straight hair down. I caught up on all of my shows and before I knew it, it was 9pm. I grabbed my car keys and headed out. My poor little car was so lonely. I told Natalie to drive her around a few times just to keep her in check. I doubted that she actually did. I pulled up to Jared’s and the gate was already open. Not very smart on his part. I saw tons of cars in the circle driveway. I walked in the front door and saw a ton of people in the house. I see Jared sitting over by the fireplace with a group of people as he looks up at me and smiles. 

“There she is!” He said as he ran up to me and pulled me into a giant hug. He kissed me hard and we both had to force ourselves to pull away. We were breathing hard and remembered we were surrounded by people. 

“God damn I missed you.” He said as he took my face into his hands and kissed me again. 

“Tell me about it. And we were only apart for two days.” I said laughing and resting my forehead on his. “We may have to disappear for a minute or two tonight.” I said running my hands up his back. 

“A minute? More like an hour i’d say.” He said smiling into another kiss. He grabbed my hand and started introducing me to everyone. I could tell he loved showing me off. I didn’t get why. There were so many beautiful people here, I didn’t even compare. We finally got to Shannon and Natalie who were very busy investing in each other when Natalie looked up and saw me. 

“Ahhh! It’s Mandy! Shannon it’s Mandy!” She said as she pulled me into a hug. 

“I missed you too Nat. It’s good to be home. Hey Shannon.” I said as I kissed him on the cheek. 

“Hey you. How was New York?” He asked as Natalie wrapped her arms back around him.   
“It was good! I had a lot of fun, it was an awesome cast and crew.” I said as Jared kissed my neck. I grabbed his face and pulled it to mine. 

“Behave yourself.” I said laughing. He growled at me. 

“I can’t. Come with me.” he said as he took my hand and started to lead me away. 

“I’ll be back.” I said to Natalie as we walked away.

“Yeah, right!” She said as her and Shannon eyed us suspiciously. 

Jared led me into his bedroom which was fairly secluded. He shut the door behind him and locked it. Before I could protest, he had his lips on mine and was clawing at my clothes. He pushed me down on the bed and crawled on top of me. He started to pull my panties down with his teeth when someone started banging on the door. 

“JARED! JARED OPEN THE FUCKIN’ DOOR!” a woman called outside the bedroom. I sat up on my elbows.

“Who is that?” I eyed him suspiciously as I spoke. I couldn’t make out the voice due to the loud noises outside the room. He looked at the door then at me. 

“I can’t tell. Here, put these on while I see. They sound pissed.” He said as he tossed me a pair of his crazy pants. They were a tad big but I put them on and sat up. He opened the door and Miley Cyrus was on the other side. She looked pissed. 

“Can I talk to you for a second?” She asked Jared. Jared looked back at me apologetically. 

“I’m fine, I’ll wait here.” I said. 

“I’ll be right back.” He said as he quickly walked back to me to kiss me. Miley rolled her eyes and he followed her down the hall. About 5 minutes passed and I was already antsy. I got up and walked slowly down the hall. A few people were hanging out in the hall. I walked into Jared’s office and stood on the other side of the wall when I heard them. 

“Dude, I don’t get it. We fuck like rabbits then it’s just peace out? Not cool Jared. I thought you said you didn’t want a relationship.” Miley said trying not to sound angry. 

“Listen, Miley. You are great and you and I have a friendship that means a lot to me. And yes, I did say I didn’t want anything serious. If I recall, you said the same thing. So I don’t get why this is an issue.” Jared said. I tried not to make a sound but a part of me wanted to punch that girl in the throat. 

“Yeah I did, but I think it’s bullshit that we can’t fuck anymore. We had fun didn’t we?” She said all seductive like. I peaked around the corner and she was trying to put her arms around him. He pushed her away slightly. 

“Yeah, but that is done. Okay? I’m with someone. And I am not about to fuck it up like I have in the past. So drop it yeah?” He said as he started to walk away….towards me! Oh shit! I ran as quickly as I could out of the room and down the hall. I was hoping he would get stuck behind some of the people lingering in the hallway. I quickly ran into Jared’s room and shut the door behind me. I sat on the bed and tried to look comfortable so it looked like I hadn’t left. Jared walked through the door and shut it behind him. 

“So what did she say?” I said trying not to look guilty. 

“Nothing really.” He said looking down. He got back on the bed and pulled me on top of him. I straddled him and he looked like he was ready to go but I wanted him to actually say what she said. He sat up and started kissing my neck. 

“Yeah but what did she want?” I said pulling away a bit. He sighed. 

“She just wanted to know why things are not still going on between her and I. I really don’t think we should get into specifics. It will just upset you.” He said. 

“Okay.” I said. I think he could tell I was still thinking about it. He took my face into his hands and forced me to look at him.

“Hey, what do I always say?” He asked me. 

“We belong to each other.” I said back. 

“Exactly. You are mine, but that means I am yours too. Got it?” He said widening his eyes at me. I nodded and smiled. 

“There it is. That gorgeous smile.” He said, kissing me. He pulled me in so deep, I felt like we were never going to get back to the group...and I was fine with that.


	17. Around We Go

Chapter 17: Around We Go

The next few weeks were amazing. Jared was promoting Suicide Squad in Los Angeles while I took some much needed time off. Jared and I were getting closer and closer. Without “The Joker” present, Jared was starting to show me the real him. I was getting nervous because with how big Suicide Squad was becoming without it even being released yet, Warner Brothers was putting the sequel in motion. They of course asked me back due to Lee and David’s recommendation. I wasn’t sure if they would put me with Jared or not seeing as how our romance was now public. They were wanting to start May 2017. I had accepted, but I was scared. I know how Jared gets when he takes on a role like this. I didn’t even get to know Jared Leto until The Joker was done. And now, he was going to come back. 

I was sipping on my coffee when I got a phone call from John, the lead editor of Gotham. 

“Hey John, what’s up?” I asked curiously. I didn’t know John well, but he seemed alright. 

“Hey Mandy, you have editing experience right? Like didn’t you say you worked on Warm Bodies?” He asked.

“Yeah, I went to college for film editing. So I would say I have experience. Why, what’s up?” I asked. 

“Well, we are having some creative differences with the producers and they don’t like what we have come up with. Would you maybe want to come to New York for a few days and help us out? The producers will like anything you come up with, they love you.” John said desperately. 

“Yeah, that’s fine. I will be there. When do you want me to come out?” I asked setting my coffee down. 

“Well as soon as possible would be great. They want a rough cut of the latest episode in a week.” He said. 

“Okay. I can be out there Friday. That work?” I asked.

“Yeah perfect! Thank you so much Mandy. This will be a big help.” John said, sounding relieved. 

“No problem. See you at the studio on Friday then.” I said hanging up. I immediately got on my phone and started booking a flight. I heard Jared come in through the front door. Yes, we had exchanged keys. It only made sense because we were both very forgetful. 

“Hey you.” He said leaning over me and kissing me. 

“Hey.” I said smiling. “So listen, I have to fly out to New York for a few days on Friday. Some editing stuff for Gotham.” I said scrolling through flights on my phone. 

“You’re kidding? I have to go to New York for the Fast Company Festival. Why don’t I just fly out with you?” He said sitting next to me. My eyes lit up. 

“Yeah that would be awesome! Should I book this flight for two then?” I said looking at him intently. “Do you mind flying coach?” I said smirking. 

“What is that supposed to mean?” He said tickling me. I screamed and got up to get away from him.

“Oh nothing.” I said heading into the kitchen and giggling. I booked our flights as I poured another cup of coffee. Jared came into the kitchen and leaned against the entryway. He looked like he wanted to say something but couldn’t. 

“What?” I said suspiciously. 

“So I got the script for the Squad sequel today.” He said and eyed me, waiting for a reaction. He knew I was dreading that. 

“Oh. Well that’s good. I signed back on too.” I said. 

“But not with me right? Then who will you be working with?” He asked. I knew exactly what he was asking without actually asking it. Would I be working with Joel Kinnaman? Last I had heard, Joel was engaged to a gorgeous Swedish tattoo artist, so I knew it wouldn’t be a big deal but I guess it would be awkward. 

“I don’t know J. They haven’t told me yet. It’s months from now.” I said as I brushed past him so I could brush my teeth. He followed me into the bathroom. 

“I don’t want you working with Kinnaman.” He said folding his arms. I recognized that voice. I spit my toothpaste out and looked at him through the mirror. 

“You know I have no control over that.” I said breathing heavily. My heart was racing. He eyes were different. When Jared got jealous, he turned into someone else. A lot like The Joker. I took my hair out of its ponytail and started brushing it. 

“Yeah but I do. I’m gonna tell David I want Kinnaman nowhere near you.” He said still with folded arms. I turned to face him, now I was pissed. 

“Jared, you can’t do that. They aren’t going to want me to work for them if I bring drama to the set. Just stay out of it.” I said trying to walk past him. He grabbed my arm and pulled me to him. He gently put a hand around my throat and slowly walked me up against the bedroom wall. He was only millimeters from my face. Looks like he is already starting his transformation and he hasn’t even dyed his hair back to green yet. I couldn’t lie though, this was hot. 

“Fine. But if you do end up working with him and he so much as lays one finger on you, i’ll make you and him wish he hadn’t.” he said in almost a growl. 

“You got it, Mr. J.” I said breathing into his mouth. He tightened his grip on my neck and slammed his lips on mine. I ran my fingers down his back as he grabbed my arms and pinned them above me. He shoved my shorts and panties down in one motion and the rest of history. It was amazing how weak at the knees he made me. And how all of my standards about being an independant woman just went right out the window. It scared me.   
__________________________________________________________________________  
Jared and I had boarded the flight and luckily got seated in a two seat aisle. I hated being next to people on flights. Nine times out of ten, I sat next to someone who was sick. Jared held my hand as the flight took off, it was 3am so it was still dark outside. Not many people were aboard. Not many people noticed us either which was nice and surprising. The paparazzi had followed us all the way to the gate. I eventually fell asleep on Jared’s shoulder and I must have slept the whole way because he lightly shook me as we descended. 

“We’re here babe.” He said softly. I woke up and sat back. I guess I was so tired I didn’t even unbuckle my seatbelt. Once we had landed in New York, it was 10am their time. Jared and I got to The Trump Soho hotel and went in through the back and Shayla had already checked us in. I still wasn’t sure how she was able to do that. A security guard handed Jared our room key and told us which floor to go to. When we got in the elevator, Jared wasted zero time. He was kissing my neck and pulling me to him. I laughed. 

“Jesus. Can you at least wait til we get to our room?” I said putting my hand on his cheek. He groaned and we got to our floor just in time. We got inside our room and put our bags down. We luckily didn’t have to bring much. Jared had a regular size backpack and I had my messenger bag. He pushed me onto the bed and crawled on top of me. He started kissing my belly button and trailed his way up. Just as he was almost to my lips, my phone started buzzing. I had to answer, it was John. 

“Hey John, what’s up?” I said trying to stifle my moans as Jared lifted my shirt up so he could lick my sternum. 

“Hey! Are you in New York yet?” He said sounding panicked. 

“Yeah, I just got here. Are you guys there yet?” I asked as Jared kept working his toungue all over me. He eventually made his way to my maxi skirt and pulled it down. He began to work the magic that is his hands. I had to literally cover my mouth to keep from making noises that I didn’t want anyone to hear but him.   
“Yeah, we are. Just get here when you can, yeah?” John said. I bit down on my finger and Jared looked up at me and smirked. He knew exactly what he was doing. “Hello? Mandy you there?” John said. 

“Yeah, yeah i’m here.” I said trying to contain myself. “I’ll be there in about an hour.” I said looking down at Jared. He started to pull down his crazy looking pants and gave me a demanding look. “Uh, better make it two.” I said smirking. Jared smiled. He was proud of himself. 

“Okay that’s cool. See you then.” John said hanging up. Jared crawled up to my face and placed himself inside me. I screamed. He knew how to get me to go over the edge pretty quick.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Mr. J is coming back. ;-) 
> 
> Wonder if it will be a good thing or bad thing? Maybe both!


	18. Shadow of the Day

Chapter: Powerless

I finally made it to the Warner Brothers studio and headed straight to John’s editing room. I had made it just in time. When I had left the hotel room, Jared was sprawled out on our bed in nothing. It was pretty adorable. 

I entered the editing room and saw John and a few other editors arguing. 

“Ah there she is. Thanks so much for coming Mandy.” John said as he got up to hug me. 

“Yeah no problem, I hope I can help.” I said setting my bag on the ground and taking a seat. By the looks of the outlines they had and what their notes were, we would be here a while.   
____________________________________________________________________________  
After ten hours of editing, we finally decided to call it a night. John, the other editors and myself decided we were going to reward ourselves with drinks and sushi. Luckily, John knew a place down the street that was open until 3am. I had been texting Jared telling him to meet up with us. He agreed. Once we had showed up to the place, Jared was waiting outside. He was signing a couple autographs when I got to him.

“Hey.” I said kissing him on the cheek. 

“Hey.” He said smiling at me and turning to the fans in front of him. 

“Thanks guys, have a good night.” He said and turned to me. I introduced him to John and the others. We all had ordered different kinds of sushi rolls and luckily they had a vegetarian menu. Jared and I ate a crazy amount of cucumber and avocado rolls. The others had their real sushi which J and I both found gross. After a night of laughing and talking film, Jared and I decided to head out. 

“Thank you again for coming out here Mandy. I think with the outline you gave us, we are probably good to go. So you can explore for the next few days instead of work.” John said kissing me on the cheek. I felt Jared’s hand tense. He definitely had a jealousy flare that expanded past Joel Kinnaman. Jared politely shook everyone’s hand and escorted me to the SUV we had waiting. The second we were in the car, Jared started kissing my neck. He knew that was my weakness. He didn’t seem to care the driver could totally see us. He started to undo the top button of my jeans, but I stopped him. I nodded at the driver when he gave me an angry look. He growled and sat back in his seat. I smirked. I knew he was frustrated but too bad.   
____________________________________________________________________________  
Jared and I spent the next few days exploring New York City. Jared took beautiful shots of the city. Some not so beautiful shots of me. Jared did his thing at the Fast Company Festival and did some press for Suicide Squad. The paparazzi of course found us everyday doing our thing. Jared was pretty good at ignoring them, I wasn’t used to yet though. Jared and I had flown back to Los Angeles that following Wednesday. We were relaxing at his place and sitting on the couch. He was getting a call from David Ayer and got up to talk. 

“Hey David what’s up? Okay….yeah that’s fine just send it to Shayla my assistant. I will read it and get back with you. Okay...yeah, I am up for it for sure. I already signed on for it so I have to be. Yeah...Okay I will get with her and start the process for the green….yeah she’s here, you wanna talk to her?” Jared said as he handed me the phone. 

“Hey David!” I said. 

“Well hey to you too Mandy. Listen, I was talking with Lee today. It looks like you will be assigned to Joel and Margot. Now, Jared had voiced his concerns to me about that. Do you still want the job?” He asked. I eyed Jared. I was pissed. I had specifically asked him to not do that. 

“Yeah, I still want it.” I said. “When is the launch meeting, did Lee say?” I asked putting my hand on my hip. 

“April 21st at the lot. I won’t be there, but I will see you on Day One, yeah?” He asked. I agreed and hung up Jared’s phone. I went into Jared’s office and he was on his MAC. He looked up and saw my face. 

“What?” He asked suspiciously. I threw his phone at his face and he caught it. “What the fuck Mandy?” He yelled as he stood up. 

“You son of a bitch. I told you to NOT get involved. This is MY work. I can work with whoever I want! You had no right to tell David that you don’t want me paired with Joel.” I said gritting my teeth. He walked towards me, like I was prey. 

“Now you listen to me. I will not tolerate that douche bag putting his paws all over you while I sit there and watch. You know damn good and well that I won’t be around everyone else so I won’t be there to keep an eye on him.” he growled at me. He was inches away from me. 

“I don’t care Jared. Don’t you trust me?” I said. 

“Yes, it’s that asshole I don’t trust.” He said pointing out the window. 

“You can’t tell me what to do. I took the job and guess what? I was assigned to Joel and Margot. Deal with it.” I said as I turned on my heel to walk out of the office. Jared grabbed my waist to turn me back around and without thinking I slapped him across the face. He didn’t even flinch. But his eyes changed. He growled under his breath and pulled me to him. He grabbed my chin and kissed me roughly. At first, I tried my hardest to pull away. But I couldn’t. After a few minutes of him fighting for entrance in my mouth, I finally let him. I bit his bottom lip hard and this made him kiss me even harder. He started to reach under me to take my top off but I pulled away from him.   
“No. Not today.” I said walking away. He breathed heavily and yelled after me, “This isn’t over Mandy!” he said. I grabbed my bag and my keys and drove home. I wasn’t really all that mad anymore, but I was going to let him sit with that for a day or two. I got home and started the paperwork that Lee had sent me. Jared had tried calling me a couple times, I didn’t answer. As much as I wanted to, no man told me what to do when it came to my work. Later that night, Natalie was banging on my front door. 

“Mandy I know you’re in there! Open up! I left my key at home!” Natalie screamed. I opened the front door in my pajamas. It was only 8 o’clock at night, but I didn’t care. Natalie walked in and gave me sympathetic hug. 

“You okay?” She said looking sad.

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” I asked shrugging. 

“Well Shannon and I assumed you and Jared had a fight or something. He’s a mess. He won’t stop asking me about you so I finally just decided to ditch the guys and come here.” She said setting me down on the couch. 

“Yeah. Jared tried telling the Squad director that I shouldn’t work with Joel Kinnaman.” I said taking a sip of my wine. 

“Joel...he’s that tall hot guy? Oh yeah, I could see how Jared would be worried. I saw those pictures of you and Joel sucking face last summer. But don’t get me wrong, i’m on your side. Jared didn’t have the right. But Man, you gotta go talk to him. He is a wreck. Just hear him out.” She said. 

“Ugh, fine. Where is he?” I asked while getting up to change. I just put my skinny jeans on and a pair of knee length boots. 

“He’s at his compound. A bunch of people are there.” She said. “I’ll drive.” She said walking outside with me. Natalie and I talked about New York in the car. Then I asked her about Shannon. 

“He’s amazing Man. He is so sweet. And hilarious. We like the same shit.” She swooned. I laughed. 

“Somebody is in love.” I said pointing at her. 

“I don’t know maybe. But if anyone is feeling the L word, it’s you and Jared.” She said back. 

“I don’t know. I don’t do love. But when I am with him, it’s hard to explain. I feel weak at the knees. We can’t keep our hands off each other. We like the same things, we believe the same things. I can’t get enough of him.” I said smiling.   
“I’m sorry, how is that not the L word?” She asked. 

“I don’t know. I think I do love him.” I said sort of in shock. 

“I knew it! Mand, you gotta tell him.” She said turning down Jared’s street. 

“No. I am still pissed at him.” I said folding my arms. She shook her head as we went through the gate. We pulled up and a bunch of cars were parked in the usual spots. I got out and went straight inside. Natalie has found Shannon and left me to do my thing. I walked through the compound and saw Vicki and Tomo. 

“Hey guys.” I said. Vicki gave me a hug and Tomo kissed me on the cheek. 

“If you’re looking for Jared, we haven’t seen him. Last we saw him was by the pool.” Vicki said. I nodded.

“Alright well I am gonna go look for him.” I said. They nodded and I proceeded on my search. I walked outside and saw Jared sitting at the bar by the pool. My heart sank. Miley Cyrus had her arm around him and was whispering in his ear. He didn’t look like he was enjoying but I couldn’t sit there and watch. But I couldn’t look away. As I felt like I was getting the courage to run, Jared turned and saw me. He immediately unlocked Miley’s hands around him and got up to approach me. I turned and walked as fast I could back inside. I heard Jared behind me yelling my name. I kept walking. I went and found Natalie. Shannon had his arms around her as she played Fruit Ninja on her phone.

“Nat, give me your keys.” I said trying to hold back tears. 

“Wait why, what happened?” She said looking concerned. 

“Please Nat. Just give me the keys.” I said letting a tear drop. 

“No way, I am coming with you. Shannon will pick me up later, right?” She said as Shannon nodded. 

“What the hell did he do?” Shannon said sounding pissed. I shook my head and Natalie pulled me to the front door. We got into the car and I saw Jared run through the door and yell after me. As we drove away, I saw him put his hands to his mouth and then he punched the front door. By the time we left the compound, I was bawling. 

“Oh no Mand, what happened?” Natalie said concerned. 

“He was with her. That disgusting wench.” I said running my hands through my hair, trying not to pull it out of anger.   
“Who?!” She said. 

“Miley. She had her slimy hands all over him. He didn’t do anything, he just sat there.” I said crying. 

“Oh no. Mandy I know what you are thinking and there is no way. When she first showed up, Jared immediately walked out of the house. I could tell he didn’t want her there.” She said trying to calm me down. 

“Then why wasn’t he pushing her away?!” I yelled. 

“Because Mandy, he was a mess! I’m talking crazy psycho, wouldn’t talk to anyone mess! He probably just didn’t even really notice or care.” She said as I shook my head. 

“What the hell am I doing Nat?! I am putting my heart out there to someone who is known for breaking everyone else’s. I can’t do this.” I said. 

“Mandy Morrison. We’ve been best buds for how long? Years. I have never seen you this happy. Sure you’ve been happy, but not like this. He brings something out in you that I have never seen before. Shannon has told me numerous times you do the same with Jared. He said Jared wasn’t even like this with Cameron. You two found each other for a reason. I really think that this was a misunderstanding.” She said as we pulled up to my apartment building. After we parked, she walked me inside and followed me to my bedroom. I was throwing clothes around trying to find my favorite comfy yoga pants. 

“Ugh that girl is so gross. How could he even have touched her!?” I said taking my jeans off.

“He’s still a guy Mand. They will bang anything.” She said trying to put my clothes back. 

“I need wine.” I said as I walked into the kitchen. I grabbed a bottle of Merlot out of the wine rack and poured a glass. I offered to Natalie but she declined. 

“Why do I not have any chocolate around?!” I said scanning the cabinets. 

“Mand, calm down.” She said cautiously. “You’re just angry right now.” She said. I down the bottle of wine in twenty minutes. I grabbed another and Natalie knew not to try and stop me. Her phone started ringing and she answered. 

“Hey...yeah she is um...she’s a little upset. Uh I don’t know Shan. She is a tad wasted also so I don’t know how that will go.” She said as I started chugging the second bottle. “Okay. I’ll see you guys soon.” She said hanging up the phone. 

“You guys? Is he...coming here?!” I asked.   
“Mandy, he just wants to explain himself. He is crazy about you. Just let him.” She said as I finished the second bottle. I scoffed and grabbed a third bottle. I was a hot mess. I was in my yoga pants, a sports bra that I had on wrong. My hair was all tangled and my makeup was smeared. I heard a knock at the door and I got up and walked swiftly to my bathroom and slammed the door. Along with my trusty bottle of wine. I looked in the mirror and my lips were stained red. Awesome, I looked like a prostitute. I heard Shannon and Jared out in the family room as I held my ear up to the bathroom door. 

“She is um, kinda a mess right now.” Natalie said. I heard Jared ask where I was. She said something I couldn’t quite make out, then I heard a knock at my bathroom door. I slid down the door with my bottle of wine in tow. 

“Mandy, let me in.” Jared said. 

“Yeah. Right. You have Miley germs all over you.” I said as I hiccuped. 

“Mandy, I wasn’t even paying attention to her. It’s over with her. She may not get that, but I do. I don’t want anyone else but you.” He said as I heard him slide down the bathroom door. 

“She was all over you Jared. I know your rep. She isn’t the first fuck buddy you’ve had.” I said almost crying. 

“Mandy, I have a past. So do you. I’m not proud of some of the things I have done, but I am making up for it now with you. I promised myself a long time ago I would never do anything to hurt you. I’m not about to start now.” He said. “I love you Mandy.” He said. My eyes widened. I turned and opened the door. He turned and looked up at me. 

“What did you say?” I said with the bottle still in my hand. 

“ I love you.” He said as he stood up. He faced me and I looked at him shocked for at least a minute. “Say something please.” He said. 

“I love you too.” I said smiling a bit. He smiled and pulled me towards him. He kissed me deeply and wrapped arms around me. I held his face in my hands. He pulled away.

“Jesus Mandy. I just got a fucking buzz off of your breath.” He said as he laughed at me. I drunkenly nodded and turned to grab my toothbrush. I put toothpaste on the brush and began scrubbing. He stood behind me and brushed my hair to the left and started kissing my neck. I smirked as I was still brushing and put my hand behind his head. He ran his hands over my bare stomach and gently bit down on my skin. I bent over to spit in the sink and felt him grinding into the back of me. He ran his hands over my back and I looked up into the mirror and saw him eyeing my backside like a piece of meat. I smirked. I was going to torture him for a bit. He started to tug at my yoga pants and I turned and stumbled a bit. I kissed him hard as he growled into me. Just as he started to undo his pants, I pulled away. 

“You’re not out of the dog house yet, love.” I said lightly tapping his cheek. I walked past him and I heard him groan. I looked behind me and he was kneeling over the bathroom sink, obviously frustrated. 

“You coming babe?” I said grabbing my wine bottle. 

“Yeah give me a minute.” He said. I smirked and headed out to the living room. Natalie had her head in Shannon’s lap as he switched through the TV channels. 

“Everything good?” Shannon asked while Natalie sat up. I shrugged and smirked as I sat down. 

“You could say that.” I said. Jared emerged from the bedroom and came down the hall. Shannon smirked at Jared like he knew what just happened. 

“How’s it hanging bro?” Shannon said trying not to laugh. 

Jared smiled and scoffed. Then ran his hands over his face in frustration. 

“So what happened to all the people that were at your house?” I asked trying not to bring up Miley directly. 

“We kicked em out. You want to stay with me tonight? Or do you want me to stay here?” Jared asked. 

“You should stay here. I don’t think I could make it down the stairs without tripping.” I said holding the bridge of my nose. 

“Okay we will stay here then.” He said sitting next to me and putting an arm around me. Natalie turned to Shannon and said something through brainwaves. He nodded.

“Well we will leave you two to it then. J I will just take your car back to your house yeah?” Shannon asked. 

“Yeah that’s fine. Here.” Jared tossed Shannon the keys as Natalie gave me a kiss on the cheek. She whispered in my ear, “Told you so.” she smirked at me and winked. I smiled and put my head back on Jared’s shoulder. My head was spinning. Not just from the alcohol but the fact that Jared Leto just told me he loved me. And I said it back. I haven’t said those three words to a man in so long. I was scared shitless, but as we laid there in each others arms, I somehow knew everything would be okay.


	19. Dancing on My Own

Chapter 19: Dancing on my Own

I woke up the next morning in my bed. Jared must have carried me to bed last night. I turned over and saw Jared sleeping on his stomach. I smiled and got up. Then I felt the pain in my head. I groaned and went to go pee. When I came out, Jared was on the phone with someone. He was facing away from me. 

“Can you somehow get it removed? Do we know who took this picture?” He said rubbing his forehead. “Okay, thanks Shayla.” He hung up the phone and turned to me. 

“Hey gorgeous. Listen, I want you to see something. I am showing you so you don’t see it later and freak out.” He handed me his phone and I saw a picture on TMZ of Miley hanging all over him. I felt like I would be sick. 

“Um, who took this?” I said.

“I don’t know. Someone that was there last night. To be honest, I don’t really know who all showed up. So it could have been anyone.” He said taking his phone back. I shrugged trying to act like it didn’t bother me. Jared popped at mint in his mouth and leaned against the dresser.

“I’m sorry babe.” He said folding his arms. 

“It’s okay. I believe you when you say there is nothing going on.” I said as I grabbed my clothes for the day. I still couldn’t get that image out of my head. I turned on the shower and waited for it to heat up. I stripped my clothes off as Jared watched me from the doorway. I could tell his was eyeing me up and down. 

“You sure you’re okay?” He asked. 

“Yeah i’m fine.” I lied. I was still upset but I wasn’t at the same time. It was very confusing. I let the water of the shower run down my face. I heard Jared open the shower door behind me. I felt his hands wrap around me. He started kissing my neck as I tilted my head back. He grabbed my chin and turned my face to him. He kissed me to the point of my knees feeling like jell-o. As he continued to roam his hands literally all over my body, I started to forget about the night before.  
_____________________________________________________________________________  
I pulled up to Jared’s house and saw that Shayla and his reps Tanya and Paul were there. I walked in the front door and dropped my keys and bag on the ground of the foyer. 

“J?” I yelled through the house. Shayla emerged from the dining room. 

“Hey Mandy.” She said as she kissed my cheek. 

“Hey, what’s going on?” I asked worried.  
“Eh just some bad press. Apparently one of the sound guys that was helping with the recording, got a video of Jared saying in a nutshell that Taylor Swift sucks. He leaked it to TMZ and now phones are going nuts asking for a comment. Just trying to figure out how to fix it.” She said as she led me into the office. I could hear Jared yelling already. I walked in behind Shayla and Paul was on the phone with someone else while Jared was on the phone with what I would assume was TMZ. 

“That video was an invasion of privacy and I have already contacted my lawyers about a lawsuit against you and the douche bag that leaked it to you guys. Take it down now or this will get ugly!” Jared yelled as he hung up his phone. Paul got off the phone and Tanya walked in with a bold face. 

“What did they say Paul?” Tanya asked.

“Basically there is not much we can do about the kid that leaked it. But we can go after TMZ.” Paul said. Tanya nodded. Tanya never liked me much, but I didn’t really care. 

“Okay well I just spoke with his lawyers and they said the same thing. Do you want to move forward with the suit against TMZ Jared?” Tanya asked. 

“Fuck yes I do!” Jared said. 

“Well it could get ugly.” Tanya said. 

“I don’t care if it gets ugly Tanya just do your fucking job!” Jared yelled. 

“Okay, can we have the room guys?” I asked as I turned to everyone. They all started to leave. Jared was cursing under his breath and pacing. I closed the double doors and walked up to Jared and put my hands on either side of his arms. 

“This is fucking bullshit man. I can’t even voice an opinion in the confidence of my turf without someone making a big deal about it.” He said trying not to look at me. 

“Baby, look at me.” I said pulling his face in closer. He finally made eye contact with me. 

“We will fix this, okay?” I said trying to calm him down. I hugged him and at first he didn’t hug me back. Then I felt him wrap his arms around me tightly. I hated seeing him this mad. Jared had a temper. I had only seen it a few times, mostly in his Joker days. But Jared showed his violent side a couple times. I had felt it when we fucked. I could tell he was holding back. I could tell he didn’t want to scare me. Little did he know, I had a rough side too.  
_________________________________________________________________________  
It was Jared’s birthday in a few days. I had no idea what to get him. I was with Natalie, shopping on Melrose Avenue.  
“I have no idea what to get him. What do you get a guy who has everything?” I said as I held up a shirt to my body. 

“I don’t know dude….WAIT. I’ve got it. I have a bartender that works opposite shifts as me and he is an upcoming photographer in Hollywood. He is AWESOME and he would probably do it for free if you let him put you in his portfolio.” Natalie said as I picked up a pair of sunglasses. 

“Pictures? What kind of birthday present is that?” I asked. 

“Mandy you dumbass. I mean piiiiccccttuurreesss. You know dirty ones. He is a photographer for soft core pornos.” She said as she eyed me. 

“Oh, those kinds of pictures. Dude, I am not that type of pretty.” I said. Natalie rolled her eyes. 

“You are crazy. You are gorgeous. Guys turn their heads when you walk down the street. I’m not just sayin’ that either. A few guys were checking you out on our way in here.” She said pulling her credit card out of her purse to pay for her stuff. I shook my head.

“Fine. Call him. I’m free whenever. But you have to come with me.” I said paying for my stuff next to her. 

“No problemo. This will be so much fun!” She said as we walked out. She called the guy and set up a day. She then proceeded to take me to every lingerie store on Melrose so I pick out stuff for the photo shoot. I was a nervous wreck, but i’d do it for Jared.  
_________________________________________________________________________  
I was so beyond nervous but I knew Jared would love this present. I had brought with me a black vintage looking corset, stockings, garters the whole deal. When Natalie showed up to the photographer’s apartment, we walked in when he buzzed us in. We walked up the stairs to the top floor. Natalie knocked on the door and a rather attractive guy answered. 

“Natalie, good to see you. I never see you because of the different shifts.” He said hugging her. 

“Tell me about it. Mandy this is Dorian, Dorian this is Mandy.” she said.

Dorian held out his hand as I shook it. 

“Nice to meet you Dorian, thank you for doing this on such short notice.” I said as he led us indside. 

“Likewise Mandy. Okay so just to make sure, you are okay with some shots going in my portfolio?” he asked. 

“Yeah totally fine.” I said setting my stuff down. He already set up the background. It looked amazing. 

“Okay if you could just sign this waiver, we will get started.” he said. I read it and signed. I didn’t mind if people saw me naked. This was for Jared.  
______________________________________________________________________________  
The shoot went so well. I didn’t feel nervous after the first few shots. Natalie, Dorian and myself sat around his MAC computer as he went through the shots. Some were fully nude but classy. I couldn’t believe that is was me on the screen. 

“These look amazing Dorian.” I said. 

“Well I had an amazing subject.” He said in a flirty way. Natalie eyed me and tried not to smile. 

“Thanks.” I said smiling. Wow, awkward. We picked out fifteen of the best shots and Dorian said he would get them worked on (not Photoshopped but color enhanced) and Natalie and I packed up and left. Dorian said he would call me and let me know when to come pick them up. He said it wouldn’t take more than a few days. Which was good, Jared’s birthday was in a week. But there was something else I wanted to give him. I could tell Jared had a rough and kinky side that I think he was keeping from me. I wanted him to release that. I wanted to see it. I decided the person to ask would be Shayla. She has been there throughout a lot of his conquests and she had to know something. I dialed her number and waited. 

“Hey Mandy! What’s up?” She asked. 

“Hey! So with Jared’s birthday coming up, I wanted to run some ideas by you. You know him VERY well and I would ask Shannon but it might be awkward. Could you stop by?” I asked. 

“Sure! Give me about an hour. Jared and the guys are recording, as you probably know. I will keep it on the hush hush.” She said.

“Great, see you soon.” I said hanging up. I was flipping through the portfolio that Dorian had made up for me. When I had picked up the pictures, it got a little weird. He had told me that Jared was a lucky man, but in a weird way. I was greatful for what he did so I just ignored it. 

Shayla knocked on the door and I answered. 

“Thank you so much for coming Shayla.” I said hugging her.

“Hey i’m here to help! Whats up?” She said as she sat down on the couch. I sat across from her and pulled my legs underneath me. 

“So, for Jared’s brithday, I had these done.” I said as I handed her the portfolio. She went through them. 

“Oh my God Mandy. These are incredible! He will love it!” She said. 

“Well that’s good, but I kinda want to include something else. I think Jared has been sort of, gentle with me. I can tell. Do you know anything about that department? I know you’ve seen all of the groupies. I won’t get upset, I actually really want to know.” I said. She sighed. 

“Oh Mandy, are you sure? Jared is a very dark person in that department. I am shocked he hasn’t unleashed that on you.” She said. 

“Yes I am sure. I’m a closet freak too so I am actually welcoming to the idea.” I said smiling. 

“Well, I know he is into choking. He likes being in control and he loves making it to where you can’t do anything. I have also been told that he likes to be VERY rough like ouch rough.” She said. She took out her phone and started typing stuff in. “Like read this. Just be prepared. It might not be something you want to read but it will give you some insight.” She said as she handed me her phone. 

I read paragraphs of groupies who had hooked up with Jared. There was a lot but I needed to know more. I scrolled through and got a pretty good idea. I handed Shayla her phone. 

“Okay. I think I have an idea of what he is into.” I said smiling. 

“I am seriously shocked he hasn’t done this stuff to you.” She said putting her phone in her purse. 

“Well the sex is amazing of course but I have always been able to tell that he is holding back. The only time he did stuff remotely like this was in his Joker days.” I said. 

“Well I am running late, but I wish you luck on this mission.” She said laughing. I hugged her and thanked her for her help. I shut the door and smiled. I was so excited to see this side of him, I had no doubt he would go for it.  
_____________________________________________________________________________  
Jared’s birthday was here. He had invited everyone in creation to his compound for his birthday. I had spent the night the night before. I woke up next to him, he was already awake and on his phone. 

“Hey birthday boy.” I said as I stretched. 

“Hey you.” He said smiling. “Wanna get some breakfast? I’m starving.” He said putting his phone down. I smiled and moved down the bed. Jared usually slept naked so I didn’t have to undress him.  
“Yeah me too.” I said as I smirked at him.  
He smiled as I wrapped my lips around him. Jared was a big guy so it was hard not to gag. But I restrained myself. I moved my tongue around his dick as he tangled his hands into my hair. I felt him tense and then he let out a loud groan as he came. I sat up and wiped my mouth with my finger and licked my finger of the remaining after juice. He smiled as he panted. 

“You are fucking amazing.” he said still smiling. 

“Clearly.” I said smirking and getting off the bed. “You don't get your presents until tomorrow night.” I said as pulled on my jeans.

“Why tomorrow night? Why not tonight?” he asked suspiciously. 

“Because J, your presents are not suitable to receive in public.” I said as I licked his cheek. He smirked at me. 

“Jesus, you really are dirty.” he said as he watched me pull my bra on. He got up and.got dressed. Natalie and I had gone to the store to get all the party stuff. Jared wasn't much of a drinker, but everyone that was coming was. I told Natalie about my birthday plan and she was in awe. 

“So you're gonna unleash the freak within eh?” She said. I nodded.

“Yeah. I've always just assumed he was a semi vanilla but i'm told otherwise. Turns out we’re even more matched than I thought.” I said as we loaded the booze and groceries into her car. 

“Damn you're lucky. Don't get me wrong Shannon is the best i've had but he is vanilla mostly.”She said. 

“You just have to take control then. Tell him to be an animal. He is a guy, i'm sure he will oblige.” I said laughing. We drove off and got back to Jared’s. Jared and a few of the guys were jamming in the main room when we came in. He winked at me as I walked into the kitchen. After Nat and I put everything away, we started setting up the bars. Jared didn't drink but he had three bars on his property. We had some help by various people. 

I had gone into Jared’s room to change. I picked out a dress that was short, black and lacy. It hugged every curve I had. I came out barefoot as Jared was sitting on the bed. His mouth fell open.

“Fuck. Was that expensive?”he asked as I stood in front of him. He ran his hands up my thigh. 

“Kinda, not really. Why?” I asked. 

“Because I can't promise I won't rip it off of you tonight.”he said as his hands reached my thong. He started to run his hands over my clit when I reached down and stopped him. 

“No babe. People are already showing up.” I said as he shoved my hand away. 

“So? Come on, i'll make it quick I promise.” he said as he pulled down my panties and moved them over my heels. I stepped out of them and sighed. He knew that was his green light. He trailed his fingers back up my thigh and straight to my clit. He toyed with it as I moaned and held onto his shoulders. It felt so amazing I wasn't sure i'd be able to stand much longer. He put two fingers inside of me and worked his way in and out. I let out a loud moan that I was sure the guests could probably faintly hear. He smiled and kept going. 

“Cum for me babe. Come on, you know you want to.” he said as I reached down to kiss him. I moaned into his mouth as he let in one last thrust with his fingers and I went over the edge. I screamed, “Fuck!”. I couldn't stop myself. He smirked and took his fingers out and licked them. 

“Mmm. Told you i'd make it quick.” he said. I smiled and kissed him. I fixed my dress as he took my hand and led me out into the house. There were already some people I recognized. I saw Terry Richardson, Leonardo DiCaprio, Chace Crawford. Lots of familiar faces. I got completely wasted and Natalie and I somehow got into the pool in our dresses. Jared and Shannon made us get out because they were nervous we would do something stupid. Natalie and I had kissed before but that's as far as it would ever go. Simply due to the fact that we were like sisters. Of course, we weren't the only ones who made fools of ourselves. Mr. DiCaprio streaked across the yard and Kanye and Kim had a massive fight in front of everyone. A lot of people decided to crash there. Jared had plenty of room. It was 5am and I was sobering up. I headed upstairs after saying goodbye to everyone and Jared told me he would be up in a minute. I got into his bedroom and fixed my makeup. My mascara had ran from the pool. My dress was mostly dry but my hair was still a tad wet. I heard Jared walking down the hall. He opened the bedroom door and stared me down. I turned and returned the stare. It was like a standoff. Before I could blink he was on me. He was right, the dress did not survive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay everyone, so clearly things are hot and heavy between these two. But keep in mind, Suicide Squad 2 production is coming. That means so is Mr. J. ;-) And Joel Kinnaman :P Don't worry this is a JL story but there have to be some bumps in the road. Tall, hot and blonde bumps. Also, please feel free to comment and leave kudos if you like! <3


	20. Addicted

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is a very graphic sex chapter. Mandy is letting Jared show another side to him. ;-)

Chapter 20: Addicted

I woke up the next morning in nothing. My head was at the foot of the bed and Jared was draped over me. I lightly pushed him off of me and went to the bathroom. I pulled my toothbrush out of its holder I kept under his sink. I brushed my teeth and felt the hangover. I put on my boyshorts and a tank top. I walked out of the bathroom and Jared was sitting up. 

“Morning.” I said yawning. 

“Morning babe.” He said. 

“So, tonight I give you your birthday presents. You ready?” I asked smirking. He smiled. 

“That depends on what they are. Want to tell me?” He asked as he stretched. 

“Nope.” I said winking at him. I walked down to the kitchen and started making coffee. He walked into the kitchen and wrapped his arms around me as he usually did. He rested his chin on my shoulder and watched me. 

“Have a good birthday?” I asked. 

“Yes, you were hilarious last night.” He said. 

“Oh yeah? I am told that I am a funny yet clumsy drunk.” I said giggling. 

“I can agree with that.” He said. I poured myself some coffee and sat in the family room while Jared checked his e-mail. “So David is coming over today to give me the Squad script. I still don’t like you working with Joel.” He said. 

“I’m sorry babe. But I promise you, he will keep his hands to himself. He is engaged to some tattoo artist. It will be fine. If I were you, i’d be more worried about Margot.” I said smiling. 

“Oh, don’t tease me like that.” He said. 

“She is gorgeous. Plus, she is Harley Quinn. I have been a Harley Quinn fan for so long. Nerds dream.” I said taking a sip of my coffee. I decided to start cleaning the house. It was a wreck from last night. I could tell Natalie had started it at least. Jared told me he hired people to clean it up, so I stopped and went to go get a shower. David would be here in a couple hours. 

By the time I had showered and gotten dressed, the house was miraculously clean. I had only been in there for an hour and a half. There had to have been at least 20 people cleaning. When I went outside, I saw David and Jared sitting by the pool and Jared was scrolling through the script. 

“Hi David.” I said smiling. 

“Mandy, so good to see you.” David said as he gave me a hug. 

“I am so happy you are coming back to us. You did such a good job with Jared on the first one. But for obvious reasons, we had to switch it up. Which I am sure you guys understand. Jared, you’re new assistant’s name is Tommy I think. Lee swears by him. He has worked for Christian Bale, so he is obviously patient.” David said. 

“Yeah, I gotta give him props. Bale is difficult to work with sometimes.” Jared said still flipping through pages. 

“Alright well I will be upstairs. David, it was so great seeing you again. I'll be seeing you soon. Uh, Jared?” I said looking over at him. He looked up at me.

“Yeah?” he asked.

“Don’t be too long yeah?” I said as I winked at him. He smiled and nodded. David gave a small laugh and continued his meeting with Jared. 

I sat in Jared’s bedroom and watched tv. He came in about an hour later.

“Presents?” he said as he laid on the bed next to me. I smiled and reached under the bed to grab the portfolio. I handed it to him.

“Happy Birthday, J”. I said. He opened it and his jaw dropped. 

“Jesus Mandy. These are fucking gorgeous.” he said as he looked through each page. “Thank you, I love it.” he said as he kissed me. I didn't think the kiss would last long, but Jared grabbed ahold my hair and gently pulled me in as close as he could. I was straddling him as he groaned into my mouth. He started to lift my shirt when I stopped him. 

“Listen. I feel like you've been holding out on me. I know you handle me like a glass doll. But i've done my research. I hear around the block that you like it rough. Isn't that your thing?” I asked him. He lowered his head like he was in trouble.

“Well, believe it or not, it's mine.” I whispered in his ear. He leaned his back to look at me. 

“What? Why didn't you say anything?” he said. 

“Any type of sex with you is good. I didn't want you to think something is wrong with me.” I said looking down. 

“My God. We really are perfect for each other.” he said to himself. 

“So the other half of your birthday present, is you can do whatever you want with me for the next six hours. Don't hold back and give me everything you got.” I said. 

“Are you sure?” he asked. 

“Fuck yes.” I whispered in his ear. Before I could even think, Jared had flipped me over and had my hands pinned above my head. He was gripping my wrists so tight, it was painful. His mouth felt like it was everywhere all at once. He bit down on my neck and squeezed my tits. He bit down on my neck so hard, I knew the skin had to have broken. He ripped my panties off and I heard them tear into pieces. He threw them on the floor and shoved his fingers inside of me, hard. I felt high. The feeling of his cold hands was incredible. The way they moved, I felt like I might go over the edge. I screamed in pain and pleasure. He was by no means gentle about it, but I loved it. He covered my lips with his as he kept his fingers going, faster and harder. He took his hand that was pinning my wrists and wrapped it around my neck. He must have done this a lot because he knew his limit of how hard he could choke me. After I finally came, he pulled me up into a sitting position and was on his knees in front of me. He looked down at me and grabbed the back of my hair, hard. 

“Do it.” he ordered me. His voice was low and demanding. Sounded very familiar. This wasn’t totally Jared. Its then that I realized that Jared really was The Joker. He was perfect for the role because it was already in him. Always waiting to make himself known. And I wanted it. Now more than ever. I was scared but so turned on I couldn't think straight. I took him into my mouth and he guided me how he wanted with his hands locked into my hair. He growled and brought my head closer until I literally couldn't take any more of him in. He pulled me up and faced me towards the headboard. He slammed into me so hard, I knew I was bleeding. He grabbed my hair and bent down to bite my shoulder. I cried out in pain but I put my arm around his head to ensure him to not stop. He stopped pumping into me and forced my face to turn so I was looking at him. 

“Who do you belong to?” he asked in a low, kind of scary voice. 

“Please J, don’t stop…” I said back. He yanked on my hair harder. I screamed. 

“Answer me.” he demanded. 

“You. I belong to you.”I said. I whimpered wanting more. He smirked. 

“You want more?” he asked. I nodded and he yanked on my hair again.

“Say it.” he hissed in my ear. 

“More, please!”I couldn't take it anymore. I started to twitch from the inside so I knew he felt it. He smiled and started pounding into me. If at all possible it felt harder than previously. I couldn't wait any longer. I 1 to shake and he took that as his green light. I started to cum and he followed seconds later. We were both breathing so hard I knew if people were here, they could hear us at the front door. I collapsed and laid on my stomach. He leaned against the headboard next to me. I turned to my side and propped my head on my elbow.

“Wow. Why didn't we do that sooner?” I asked.

“Because you're not some groupie I picked up at a show. I didn't want to categorize you into that, even though it's my thing. I didn't know you were into it.” he said smiling.

“Well, I am full of surprises.” I said as I sat up next to him. He leaned over and moved my hair aside and kissed me. 

“Yes you are. I’m so glad I met you. I knew the day I met you, there was something different about you.” he said.

“I feel the same. Something has to be different. I don't do relationships.”I said.

“Yeah me either. Not for more than a month anyway.”he said. I nodded and looked at the clock on the wall. Three hours had gone by. 

“Holy shit. We were fucking for three hours.” I said laughing. “I gotta check my phone.” I said as I started to stand up. My knees started giving out and I felt numb.

“Shit. I can't walk yet.” I said. Jared smiled proudly. 

“That's the idea.” he said. He smirked at me and snaked his way towards me. I spent the next three hours getting to know Jareds inner demons.


	21. Believe

Chapter 21: Believe

I woke up the next day feeling incredibly sore. I smiled to myself knowing the cause was well worth it. Jared had showed me the dark side of him that I wanted to see and I showed him just how much I can take. When I left his house last night, he kissed me and told me how much he loved me. It was strange for me because I wasn’t into commitment in any way, but I felt like it was right somehow. It made me feel better knowing that Jared had the same issues and we would get through it together. 

I walked into my kitchen and started with my coffee. I heard a knock at my door and I skipped to the door to answer it. It was Natalie, but she looked sad. My smiled faded as she walked through the door. 

“What is it?” I said concerned. 

“Mandy, you mean so much to me. You are like the sister I never got to have. You know all I want is what is best for you right?” She said looking like she might cry. 

“Of course, please tell me what is going on.” I said. She handed me her phone. I looked at the screen and read the headline, ‘Things Heating Up Between Miley Cyrus and Jared Leto’. My heart sank but I knew how the media could be. I read the article carefully. Basically, it stated that a close source of Miley’s admitted that she and Jared were sexting and hanging out a lot. I knew the hanging out a lot part had to be false. I was with him five days of the week. Maybe not the full 24 hours but we always knew where the other was or what they were doing. I gave Natalie back her phone and bit my lip. 

“I am sorry Man. I debated on whether or not to show you this because I know a lot of times this shit is made up. But I just know that Miley is after him, she seems pretty desperate. I also know you said that they have a history. I just want you to be sure it’s history. Okay?” She said. I nodded. 

“It can’t be true. I see him a lot. And when I am not with him I usually know where he is. I’ll find out.” I said. I jumped up and got my clothes on. I gave Natalie a kiss on the cheek and left to go to Jared’s. As far as I knew, he should be there. I pulled up to the gate and put in the code. I used the key Jared gave me to walk in. I heard him and the guys in the back of the house. I opened the double doors to the back patio and walked outside. Jared looked up and gave me a pleased but surprised look. He jumped up and walked towards me. 

“It’s Manndddyyy!!!” Shannon said 

“Hey lady!” Tomo said as he took a sip of his water. 

“Hey guys.” I said as Jared kissed me. I turned to him and showed him the serious look on my face. His face dropped. “Can I talk to you for a second?” I whispered to him. He nodded and told the guys he’d be back. 

“Damn do you two ever take a break? It’s only noon!” Shannon yelled and then laughed after us. 

Jared and I walked into the kitchen and I leaned against the kitchen counter. I pulled up the article and showed it to Jared. His jaw clenched as he read the article. He pulled out his phone and handed it to me. 

“Take a look for yourself. I didn’t want you to be upset so I just didn’t say anything.” he said as I took the phone. I gave him a confused look and went to messages. I saw the Miley thread and pressed it. 

MILEY(11:13pm): Hey sexy, wanna cum ova today?  
MILEY(11.49pm): Dooood u cant ignore me 4evs. I dont see y we cant at least do what weve been doin. Ur girl will neva know. I promise ;P  
MILEY(12:02am):Ok whateva, ignore me. but jus look at what ull be missin

I tried to scroll down just waiting for a gross picture of her naked. But there was nothing. I looked at Jared confused.

“What did she send?” I asked. 

“A picture. A bad one. I deleted it as soon as I got it. She is kinda going stalker on me and I didn’t want it in there.” He said taking his phone back. I nodded. Even though I wasn’t mad at him, I was still mad. 

“Jared, what the hell are we doing? I don’t want to be responsible for you changing your entire lifestyle.” I said. “I am not that woman. I don’t make guys change for me.” I said. 

“Hey, you didn’t make me do shit. I WANTED this. I have wanted this since I first met you. Sure, it scares the hell out of me, but with you I feel like because you understand it, we will get through it. Which is why I wanted to ask you to move in with me tonight.” He said looking completely serious. My heart skipped a beat. 

“What?” I said smiling a little. 

“Well, it makes sense doesn’t it? We are with each other 90% of the time, you are always here or I am there. Why not?” He said as he wrapped his arms around me. 

“J, don’t ask me to move in with you because of this.” I said. 

“It’s not because of this. Ask Shannon, I was just telling him an hour ago how I was going to ask you.” he said. I stood there not knowing what to say. I wanted to of course, but this was new to me. “So?” He added. 

“I say let’s do it.” I said smiling. He smiled back at me and kissed me. 

“Sweet, we will get your stuff this weekend.” He said letting me go and heading back outside. I smiled and sat down on the chair in the dining room. I called Natalie and explained everything. 

“Oh good, I didn’t want to have to bust a cap in his cute ass.” Natalie said sounding relieved. I laughed. 

“Yeah, he also asked me to move in with him.” I said. 

“What?! What did you say?” She asked. 

“I said yes.” I said back. 

“Wow, I am so proud! Miss Commitment Phobia is moving in with a guy! Progress!” She said. She told me that she and Shannon would help move me in. I don’t think Shannon knew this but Natalie made the plan for him. I walked over to the patio doors and peeked out at Jared talking with his friends. He was so amazing. I couldn’t believe this was all happening. Almost a year ago, I had no idea I would be here. But I knew, I had to be prepared. The Joker was coming back. Soon. 

______________________________________________________________________________  
3 Months Later

I woke up to Jared kissing my cheek. I had fallen asleep on the couch reading the schedule for Suicide Squad 2. 

“Hey, what time is it?” I said rubbing my eyes and the schedule book falling on the floor. 

“2. Sorry it took me so long. We were trying to get as much done as possible before you and I leave for Canada.” He said sitting next to me. 

“Okay, when is your hair appointment?” I said sitting up. 

“Tomorrow. Have to cut and color to blonde again first.” He said. Jared hair had grown out to almost his shoulders since Squad wrapped last year. He had some beard scruff too. I loved it and I was sad that he would have to get rid of it. Yet, I was excited because seeing Jared all Joker-fied was a huge turn on. I was getting a little nervous. I know last time Jared did his “transformation” into Mr. J, he was different. I have really gotten to know the sweet side of Jared and thinking that he would go back to the semi psycho control freak he was last year made me scared for us. But I figured, if I couldn’t beat him, join him. We had agreed that while in Canada, we would stay in seperate rooms so we could both focus. We would still be together, just apart at the same time. I really wanted to focus on filming because my name was becoming popular among production companies and I was getting a lot of offers. I wanted to keep it that way. Jared really wanted to dive back into the role because he always puts in 120%. I was a bit curious how it would be working with Joel. I hadn’t heard from him much since Jared claimed me via text. The premiere for Suicide Squad was in August and Jared had asked me to go with him. I of course accepted. It would be interesting seeing how the first film plays out while starting pre production for the sequel. It was always a scary move to invest in a sequel before the first even premieres. But the studio was convinced it would do well. I was sure it would too. 

I put my head on Jared’s shoulder and started to fall back asleep. I felt him move and lift me into his arms. He carried me into our bedroom and set me down on my side. Living with him didn’t feel any different than before. We were still sure to respect boundaries and give each other space if needed. 

I felt him lay down next to me and wrap an arm around me. I smiled to myself and fell back asleep. In a month, I would be sleeping alone.   
_____________________________________________________________________________  
1 MONTH LATER

I was heading out to Canada before Jared. He still had some 30STM stuff to handle before production started. I met up with Lee at the airport early in the morning. 

“Hey Lee! How have you been?” I asked giving him a hug. 

“Good, nervous about this shoot. Apparently you are the only out of country employee we hired for this production. The rest of them are locals. So I hope they still take me seriously.” He said as we started to board the plane. 

“Oh i’m sure they will. It might actually be easier because then it’s less money out of the studio’s pocket.” I said as I sat in my seat. Lee and I chatted about the film a little bit (quietly) and how life was going. The flight seemed to go by very quickly. We landed and headed to the hotel. I had three texts from Jared asking if I was there yet. I think he was a little extra controlling lately just because he was freaked about me working with Joel. I decided to just call him.

“Hello?” He said. 

“Hey you.” I said as I yawned and put my bag on the floor.

“Hey, you made it?” He asked.

“No, I crashed and died.”I said as I laid on the hotel bed.   
“Not funny. Well, I will be there on Friday. I am meeting up with the acting coach tomorrow to get into it.” He said. I knew what he meant by it. An acting coach was a good tool to get into character at a quicker rate, especially for method actors like J. 

“Okay. Are you ready for him?” I asked. He knew who I was talking about. 

“Yeah. He’s sort of a part of me now. I should be asking you the same question.” He asked.

“Yeah, I know how you get when you are in character. Especially this one. I can handle it.” I said as I turned on my side. 

“I hope so. I’ll see you soon. I love you.” He said. Jared and I had also agreed that while we were both here, we wouldn’t use the L word, because The Joker doesn’t love people. So I knew him saying this now would be the last time i’d hear it for a while. 

“I love you too.” I said. I knew when J landed in Canada, he wouldn’t be the guy I know. He would be the monster that was The Joker.


	22. Closer

Chapter 22: Closer

It was Friday which meant the cast would be flying in today. We had a pretty solid crew this time around, none of the assistants I got to work with last time weren’t here this time. Lee had said I was really the only part of the first crew that the studio invited back. I often wondered if Jared had anything to do with that. 

I sat in the lot waiting for Margot to arrive. She was shooting her scenes all day while Joel was not shooting until tomorrow. Her plane had already landed an hour prior so I knew she would be here any minute. I tried not to think about when Jared would get here. As far as I knew, he had some scenes tonight. I sat in Margot’s trailer and sipped on my coffee as I mapped out her schedule for the month. I could hear her and her personal assistant Elle talking outside the trailer. Margot opened the door and immediately gave me a hug and kiss. 

“Long time no see, Mandy!” She said smiling. “I told Jared to start bringing you to press junkets but he says you are always busy.” She whined. 

“I know! I was working another job for a few months then after that I was playing catch up.” I said smiling. 

“Well, I am just happy I get to work with you this time. Elle is going to be going back and forth between here and London.” Margot said getting her cellphone out. 

“Not by choice, I tell you.” Elle said laughing. I giggled knowing how much going back and forth sucks. I went over the schedule with Margot and started to get her ready for makeup and wardrobe. As Margot and I walked to makeup she started asking me questions about Jared.

“So are you ready for Mr. J?” She said. 

“Yeah, I have mentally prepared. I may lose my boyfriend for six months, but it’s for a good cause.” I said trying to smile. 

“I have never seen anything like it. He just completely transforms and sticks to it so well. I mean that pet rat...Wow.” She said laughing. 

“Yeah, he goes all out with it. I haven’t seen him since he did his coaching session. He will be here tonight.” I said as I opened the door for her. 

“Well, just remember its just acting. He is crazy about you.” She said. 

“How do you know?” I said smiling. 

“Are you kidding? Even during filming last year, we could all tell. Just by the way he’d look at you. Plus, every time we all see him for press, he won’t shut up about you.” She said smiling. I looked down and blushed. 

“Alright enough about my love life. Let’s Harley you up.” I said as I sat down and watched makeup crowd around her. I started going through my phone. I hadn’t heard from Jared since I talked to him earlier this week. I expected that. But I did miss him. I had agreed to this so I had to put up or shut up. After Margot was done, we went out to the lot for principle photography. David was there for most of the shots which was rare. He was always so busy he always had unit directors take over. It was getting closer to 9pm which was when Jared was coming in to shoot some of his scenes. He might have already been here, but I wouldn’t know. He doesn’t come out of his trailer unless absolutely needed, I remembered that much. After a few takes, David called cut and was giving everyone a ten minute break. I asked Margot if she needed anything from the coffee shop that they had on the WB lot. She said no so I went and ordered an espresso. Just as I was grabbing a napkin out of the holder, I saw him. The Joker was walking towards set. He glanced at me and continued to walk. My heart broke a little, but I knew I’d have to get used to it. I went back to set and handed Margot her phone so she could respond to some texts. Elle had flown back to London a few hours prior and wouldn’t be back until next week. Jared was talking to David and looked over at me. He gave me a glare and continued his conversation. I quickly went back to tending to Margot. 

Tommy, Jared’s assistant, had come up and started talking to me. 

“Damn, I have never seen method acting like that. Pretty intense dude.” He said as he wrote some notes down. I nodded. 

“Was he this crazy last time?” Tommy asked. 

“You could say that.” I said smiling. 

“So, how do you like working with Margot?” He asked.

“She is sweet. Very easy to work with. Not high maintenance. Get’s a lot of the attention on set and doesn’t let it get to her head.” I said. 

“Speaking of gorgeous, how come you aren’t out there in a costume like that?” he said half serious, half joking. 

“Oh, I am the the help. I don’t act. Plus, I could never pull off the look Margot has.” I said. 

“Are you kidding? You’d be a perfect Harley. Just dye the hair, boom.” He said smiling. He was cute, but I was clearly not interested in where this was headed. I laughed nervously and pushed my reading glasses up my nose.   
“So, you wanna grab a drink after wrap tonight?” Tommy said. As soon as the words escaped his lips, I saw Jared about 6 feet behind him eyeing me in the most terrifying way. 

“Um, no thanks. Probably just gonna crash afterwards.” I said nervously. 

“Okay, that’s cool.” Tommy said with a sad look. He obviously never read the tabloids. Jared grinned at me and continued talking to David. 

When we wrapped for the night, it was 1am. I got Margot ready to go and once she left, I started to walk back to her trailer to grab my bag. Just as I was getting ready to open the door, a strong hand pulled me around the corner of the trailer. Out of instinct I started to scream but a hand covered my mouth. Jared put his finger to his mouth to shush me. He slowly took his other hand off of my mouth. He was still in his Joker makeup and costume. 

“Jesus, you scared the hell outta me.” I said breathing heavy. 

“You know I can’t resist you when you wear your glasses.” He said grinning. He started to unbutton my jeans and I stopped him.

“What the hell are you doing?” I said trying to shove his hand away. I was unsuccessful. 

“Come on doll. No one’s watching.” He said as he bit my neck. I tried my best to stifle my moan. He reached my panties and shoved his hand past them and shoved in two fingers. I had to cover my mouth to not make any noise. He sped up and watched me. It's like making me cum was now a game. Me being the rebel I am, I stopped myself. He stopped and eyed me. With his free hand he grabbed my hair and yanked hard. 

“Do it.” he growled. This reminded me of last year in my hotel room. I shook my head no. I wanted to push his buttons. He yanked harder on my hair and sped up his fingers. I couldn't resist any longer and I spilled over the edge. He let out a low laugh and whispered in my ear, “That's what I thought.” he said in a taunting tone. He released me and left as quickly as he pulled me behind the trailer. I leaned against the trailer trying to catch my breath. I wasn't sure if I was terrified or satisfied.


	23. The Kill

Chapter 23: The Kill

I woke up in my hotel room with my clothes from the night before still on. We had filmed for 14 hours straight. I woke up to my alarm at 6am. Today was when Joel was flying in and I was a bit nervous. Not about seeing him, but how Jared would handle Joel and I working so closely together. Or should I say how The Joker would handle it. Jared hadn’t said much to me since he got here. It was strange not seeing him every morning when I would wake up. 

I got to the studio lot and headed to Joel’s trailer to set everything up. I started brewing his favorite brew of coffee and I set out his schedule. Margot wouldn’t be on set until tonight so it would just be Joel and I. Great. I could hear Joel and his assistant outside the trailer and I sat up in my chair. Joel walked in and smiled. 

“Hey Mandy. Long time no see.” He says as he bent down to give me a hug. I tensed. I knew we were away from the public eye but if Jared saw that, there is no telling what he would do. 

“Good to see you Joel. Here is your schedule for this month. If something doesn’t work for you, just let me know and I will run it by Lee and David.” I said trying to stay professional. 

“Looks good to me.” Joel said without taking his off of me. Oh no. 

“Look Joel, I am seeing Jared. You and I are keeping this professional, got it?” I said. Joel put his hands up defensively. 

“Hey, all professional here. Leto gave me strict orders to leave you alone.” He said smirking. Like he didn’t take was Jared said seriously. 

“Which, you have a fiance now if I am not mistaken?” I asked. He shrugged. 

“Yeah, we don’t see each other much. She lives in Stockholm and I live in L.A. So it gets complicated.” He said. “Not easy like it was with you.” He said smiling. 

“Yeah, okay. So anyway, we need to get you to wardrobe.” I said grabbing my clipboard. As I led Joel to wardrobe, I saw Jared. He was all Jokerfied and in his black hooded cloak. He was sitting in a chair talking with David. He saw me and his eyes locked on Joel and I. His head slowly turned as we moved along the lot, not breaking eye contact. I looked down nervously and pushed my glasses up my nose. I opened the building door for Joel and watched Jared as he watched me. I nervously looked away and proceeded into the building. 

“Jesus, the guy watches you like you’re something to eat.” Joel said as wardrobe surrounded him. At this point, the actors were used to people seeing them in basically nothing. 

“Yeah. He is not normally like that. It just comes with the turf. I knew I would be dealing with The Joker for the next few months.” I said as I started scribbling on my notepad. 

“And you don’t think that is a little unfair to you?” Joel asked as one of the wardrobe girls zipped up his jacket. 

“I am not discussing this with you.” I said not trying to sound rude. 

“Whatever, your choice I guess. Guy is weird though you gotta admit that.” Joel said smiling. I shrugged. No comment.   
_____________________________________________________________________________  
It was now almost midnight. We had been filming all day with only one break. Of course while the cast and crew all ate lunch together, Jared locked himself in his trailer. The last scene of the night was going to be the entire Squad and some extras. We were all huddled in a group in the city setting lot and the studio told us we only had an hour left. As the first assistant director got everyone in place and yelled action, I started texting people back that had been texting me all day. Mom, Matt and Natalie of course. The director yelled cut and I handed Margot and Joel their water bottles. All of the sudden I felt my phone vibrate. I got a text from Jared. 

I’m coming over tonight. 

J

I looked over at him. He smirked and gave his water back to Tommy. This was strange but fun. We were living together and being all cutesy a month ago. Now we are acting like we used to when we first met. I smiled a bit and snapped myself out of it. Once we had wrapped, I got Joel and Margot all packed up to go home. We weren’t filming until 9am the next morning, so I would at least get 6 hours of sleep...if Jared let me. I got back to my hotel room and immediately got into the shower. Once I got out, I dried off and walked into the room with my towel wrapped around me. I looked up and saw Jared sitting in the chair by the window. This seemed familiar. I screamed from the shock. He was always able to get my room keys. 

“Jesus, you scared me!” I said breathing heavily. He smiled and got up. He took me into his arms and buried his head into my neck and bit me lightly. 

“So, has Flagg put the moves on you yet.” He asked not breaking away from me. 

“Not really.” I said in a hissing tone. He stopped at looked at me.

“What do you mean not really? Has he?” He asked in a demanding tone. 

“No, I mean he flirts but that’s about it. Come on Jared, you flirt with girls on set and on tour.” I said as I wrapped my arms around his neck. He rolled his eyes and released me.   
“It’s not like he is going to get anywhere.” I said as I grabbed my PJs off the bed. Jared eyed me.

“He better not. If I see him so much as lay one finger on you…”He said as he growled. He watched me as I took my towel off to put my clothes on. He walked to me and placed his hands around my waist. He let out a low growl into my shoulder. 

“That time huh?” I said as I turned to face him. He shook his head no. 

“No. I can’t. Holding out helps me with the character, remember?” He said trying not to look at me. He had explained that during Requiem production, he and Cameron hadn’t had sex for two months because it helped with his character. So he told me that we wouldn’t be either because The Joker needed to be tense. 

“Oh right. Then why did you come here?” I asked, smiling. 

“Just wanted to see you...and grill you about Kinnaman.” He said smirking. 

“Uh huh. Well don’t worry. But I guess you should go. You gotta get some sleep.” I said as I started to put on my clothes. Jared left just as quickly as he came in. No kiss, no goodbye. I missed the old Jared. But I knew this was important. 

The next morning I woke up and headed over to set. It was a Margot and Jared day and then the rest of the cast that night. Filming went pretty well until the evening hit. I was talking to the other assistants when Jared came over and broke up the conversation. 

“Hey Tommy, maybe you could do your job instead of sitting around and socializing? Not all of us want to be here all night.” Jared said to all of us. 

“We are just taking a break while you guys run over your lines. What’s the big deal?” I asked kind of confused. 

“Who asked you? Why don’t you mind your own fucking business.” Jared said. He had never talked to me like that. I felt like I might cry and I NEVER cried in front of people. I got up from my chair and ran to Margot’s trailer. I slammed the door and sat in the barstool. I started to cry and I tried to stop myself, but I couldn’t help it. After a few minutes, Margot walked in. Or should I say Harley Quinn. 

“Hey, you okay?” She said putting an arm around me. 

“I’m fine. Sorry I bolted like that.” I said wiping a rogue tear away quickly. She shook her head. 

“Oh please, don’t be sorry. You know how he gets when he is in character. I don’t think it had anything to do with you.” She said moving my hair back. Just then Joel and Jai Courtney walked in since the door was already open. 

“Oh no, what’s wrong love?” Jai said. 

“Jared snapped at her. A bit harsh i’d say.” Margot said. 

“Oh yeah, he’s snapped at all of us. Don’t take it personally.” Jai said, looking at his phone. 

“Or just don’t take it at all. He shouldn’t be allowed to talk to you like that.” Joel said leaning against the counter. 

“Oh come on. I am just an assistant. I am beneath him, he can talk to me however he wants.” I said. 

“No that’s not how that works. If it weren’t for you guys, we would be complete disasters by the end of the day.” Margot said as Joel agreed. 

“Yeah we will see. But we better get back, David hates when he has to wait on us.” I said as I grabbed my water. We all walked back to set and Jared and David were in a conversation. David noticed us.

“Okay everyone, let’s get this done. We have second crew coming in 15 minutes.” David said as he directed the camera guys. I didn’t even look at Jared. 

“Yeah now that everyone has had a good cry.” Jared said as makeup touched him up. I tried to ignore him. 

“Hey man, what the fuck is your problem?” Joel asked Jared. Jared looked up.

“You all are my problem. A little nobody assistant has a meltdown and you all run after her and waste my time?” Jared said. Okay, now I was getting pissed. 

“Man, this is fucked up. I know you are into method but damn. You got a good woman here and you treat her like shit. Better check yourself.” Joel said as I tried to tell him to stop. 

“Yeah okay pretty boy. Why don’t you sit down and have another protein shake.” Jared said. Joel got up getting ready to swing and Jay H. put a hand on his chest. 

“Come on bro, let’s just get this day done okay? Forget about it.” Jay said. Joel nodded and Jared started chuckling. 

I was humiliated. I know David was not happy about the spat. I couldn’t believe Jared said the things he did. I know I agreed to support him in this role, but at what cost? David eyed Joel and Jared, then his eyes turned to me. 

“All three of you, we need to talk. Now.” David said as he motioned us to the end of the lot. I pushed my glasses up and followed him as Joel walked behind me and Jared in front of me. David turned to us and sighed. 

“Alright look. Jared, I know you are trying to stay in character. I get it. But you can’t talk to the rest of the cast and crew like you do. Got it? And Joel, stay out of their business, okay? Mandy, is there going to be an on-going problem here? Can you and Jared set aside your relationship for this film?” David asked me. 

“Of course. There will not be any more problems. You have my word on that.” I said as I stood up straight. David nodded. Joel scoffed and walked away as Jared eyed me. 

“Alright, let's get this done.” David said as he brushed past me. I sighed and noticed Jared still staring at me. 

“I will not lose my job because of you. I get that this role requires you to be a prick, but don’t take it out on the rest of them. Or me.” I said as I started to walk away from him. He caught up to me and whispered in my ear, “He started it.” He said as he cackled. He gave me a quick kiss on my cheek and walked back to set in front of me. I got back to the set and Margot wiped the lipstick off of my cheek. 

“You alright?” She asked. 

“I’m fine. Let’s do this.” I said as I took her phone from her. I could tell this time around, filming would be much more exhausting.


	24. All We Are

Chapter 24: All We Are

The next few months of filming went by incredibly slow. Jared and Joel barely made eye contact which actually seemed to cool things down. The premier for the first Squad film was in a week. It was amazing to me that we already had the second one filmed before the first one was even released to the public eye. We tried our best to keep that fact under wraps. Jared and I had flown back to L.A. and were back home. He still wasn’t himself but I figured it would take time like it did last time. 

Jared had an interview with Entertainment Weekly tomorrow and he had asked me to come along. He had dyed his hair back to blonde already. I sort of missed the green. Deja Vu. 

We walked into the building and we were immediately greeted by one of ET’s journalists, Sarah. 

“Hi Mr. Leto. Thank you so much for coming in to talk with us.” She said as she shook his hand. 

“No problem at all.” He said as he held tightly onto my hand. I followed them into the green room and stood behind the camera man. This interview would be interesting. Jared was instructed to keep quiet about Squad 2 all together and say hardly anything about the first. The production assistant counted down then they were live. 

“Hello ET viewers, I’m Sarah Noster and I am here with Jared Leto today. Thank you so much for being here Jared. I know you have a hectic schedule.” Sarah said as she flipped her hair. 

“It’s good to be here.” Jared said smiling. 

“So Jared, Suicide Squad is premiering this Friday. How do you anticipate that will go?” Sarah asked.

“I think it will go well. The entire cast and crew put their heart and souls into that film. We all are very proud of what we did and I hope fans of DC will be too.” He said. 

“I’m sure they will be. Now rumors have been circling that you dove very deep into your role as The Joker. For example I heard you sent Margot Robbie a rat? Will Smith anal beads? Is any of that true?” She asked as she laughed. Jared laughed with her. 

“Uh, yes. I did. I had to do my own thing with this character and I knew I had to get real into it to pull it off. I just thought the way he did for six months.” Jared said. 

“That must have been tiring for you. Even in the comics, the character is very complex and psychotic. Did it take it’s toll on you?” She asked. 

“Oh sure. People I am close to would even go as far to say that parts of the character stuck with me. Which could be good or bad I guess.” He said smiling. 

“Wow, so you really took it on. Well, we look forward to seeing the film. Suicide Squad is coming to theaters August 5th. Check out our Facebook page to learn more on how you can attend the premiere right here in Los Angeles. Thank you again Jared.” Sarah said smiling. 

“Thank you Sarah.” Jared said smiling at her and then the camera. Jared chatted with Sarah and the producer for a bit and then walked up to me. 

“So what did you think?” He asked. 

“You did good. You didn’t say too much.” I said as he put an arm around my waist and led me out of the building. 

“Okay so Shayla said we have to be at the premier no later than six on Friday. My mom is coming too. You cool with that?” He asked.

“Are you kidding? I’d love to meet her in person finally. I have only spoken to her on the phone.” I said. 

“Good. She already loves you and you guys haven’t even met in person yet. That is a good sign.” He said as we drove back to the house. 

“Oh shit. I have no idea what I am going to wear.” I said as I put a hand to my mouth. I hated shopping. 

“Why don’t you and Nat go find something?” He said as he laced his free hand with mine. 

“Yeah. Is she going too?” I asked. 

“Yeah. I’ve never seen Shannon serious about anyone like this before.” He said. 

“Yeah same with Natalie. Usually her significant others are only significant for a week tops.” I said as I texted her asking if she wanted to find a dress with me. 

NATALIE: YESSSHH! Wanna go tonight?  
ME: Yeah, just meet me at the house.   
NATALIE: Sweet 

Jared and I got back to the house and he had to leave again for 30STM stuff. He kissed me and grabbed his stuff. He left quickly and Natalie walked in as he walked out. 

“Have fun ladies. See you later babe. Love you.” He said as he walked down the walkway.

“Love you.” I yelled back. I turned to Natalie. 

“You ready to go? We should get food first. I am starving and I feel like I could eat a horse.” I said. 

“Damn. A horse? You must be hungry.” She scoffed. She always made fun of my meatless diet. 

We ate at our favorite Thai place downtown and mapped out where we would shop. 

“Jared told me to spend as much money as I can. He knows I hate shopping so I don’t think he was serious.” I said. 

“Wait, you two joined finances? Damn! Getting serious huh?” She asked as she took a bite of noodles. 

“Nah, we just did it because it’s easier. He pays for everything anyway. I kinda miss having my own shit though. You know me and independence.” I said. She nodded. 

“Yeah, that’s why I am shocked. But good for you! I am proud.” She said.

“And what are you giving me shit for? Look at you and Shannon. You guys are attached at the hip.” I said. She smiled. 

“He’s pretty much the best. Look at us Mand. We both said we would never get involved in serious relationships. Now here we are. And brothers no less!” She said laughing. 

I smiled. I never thought I would be at this point. I was so happy. But after seeing what Jared could be or what he was capable of, I didn’t want to get too comfortable.


	25. Everything

Chapter 25: Everything

I carefully put on my lipstick and tried my best not to mess up. The Suicide Squad premiere was tonight and I was actually pretty nervous. I know Jared would be devastated if the critics didn’t like it. He put everything he had into this role and I could tell it would crush him. Jared was not one to watch his films, so this was a rare thing for him to attend the first screening. 

I looked up in the mirror and saw him leaning against the doorframe, staring at me hungrily. I smirked and continued what I was doing. I hadn’t put my dress on yet. I kept it simple, just a flowing black dress that wasn’t too fancy, but still gorgeous. 

“Now how am I going to be able to concentrate with you looking like this tonight?” He asked as he wrapped his arms around me. 

“I don’t know Mr. J. Figure it out.” I said smiling. He growled at me and lightly slapped me on the ass as he made his way into the giant walk in closet. I slipped on my dress and helped him with this tie. Jared’s mother would be here any minute along with Shannon and Natalie. I made sure my hair looked okay and then I heard people come in through the front. I made my way out and Constance immediately pulled me into a giant hug. 

“I am so happy to meet you in person. You are even more beautiful than you sound on the phone!” She said sweetly. 

“I’m happy to meet you too finally!” I said hugging her back. Natalie, Constance and myself chatted for a bit while Shannon and Jared spoke with their manager on the phone in the office. They finally emerged and we all piled into a black SUV. We got to the premiere and there were people and flashing lights everywhere. It was a little overwhelming but I kept my cool. The film was incredible. The audience seemed to love it, but we wouldn’t know for sure until the grades hit the tabloids. I stuck to Jared like glue. After the film ended, we all piled back into the SUV and Jared seemed distracted. I squeezed his hand and spoke quietly.

“You okay?” I asked. He turned to me and nodded. I knew he was lying. I knew this was hard for him because he was very critical of himself. I knew what he was thinking. 

“You were incredible J.” I said a bit louder so the rest of the group heard. They all chimed in.

“We are so proud of you honey. You did such a good job!” Constance said as she squeezed his shoulder. He smiled slightly.

“Thanks guys. We will see though.” He said chewing on his nail. I sighed and rested my head on his shoulder as Shannon, Constance and Natalie all chatted in the backseat.   
______________________________________________________________________________  
I woke up the next morning and Jared wasn’t in bed beside me. I got up and walked into the office. He was on his MAC reading intently. 

“So? Any reviews yet?” I asked as I sat down. 

“Yeah, so far so good.” He said smiling. 

“That’s great!” I said back. 

“Yeah, kinda a relief. You hungry?” He asked as he got up and kissed me on the forehead. 

“Yeah sure.” I said as I followed him into the kitchen. 

I grabbed myself a bottled water and went into the bathroom to brush my teeth. My stomach turned a bit and I ignored it. I went out into the kitchen and Jared was in the process of making my favorite vegan pancakes. I took one whiff and knew what was going to happen. I covered my mouth and bolted to the bathroom. I threw up things I didn’t even know where in my system. Jared came in a few minutes later. 

“Ugh no. I don’t want you to see me puking.” I said as I took the towel from his hand. 

“I don’t care babe. You okay?” He asked with a concerned tone. 

“Yeah I just for some reason got really nauseous.” I said. Then I started to backtrack. I counted the days on fingers and looked at Jared nervously. 

“What?” He asked eyeing me.

“Um, nothing. Nothing. Hey can you hand me my phone? I am going to see if Natalie wants to hang out today since you will be at the lab.” I said trying to not give my suspicions away. He nodded and walked into the bedroom and got my phone. He handed it to me and looked at me again. 

“You sure you’re okay?” He asked. 

“Yeah, totally. I think I am just coming down with something. I will run to the pharmacy and get something.” I said as I dialed Natalie’s number. He nodded and walked back out into the bedroom to get dressed. I shut the bathroom door and called Natalie. 

“What dude? It’s like….10am.” Natalie said like she was still half asleep. 

“Um, I need you. Can you come over today?” I asked. 

“Yeah, yeah sure. I will be there in about an hour, okay?” She said as I agreed. Jared left to meet the guys at the lab and I paced back and forth. I was not ready for a kid. I wasn’t even sure I wanted kids. I wasn’t sure if Jared wanted kids. I knew he liked kids, but he never sounded like he wanted any of his own. I took my pill religiously, how could this be possible? Natalie came bursting through the front door. 

“Dude, what is going on? You are scaring me.” She said. I took my phone and made her look at the calendar. She looked closely.

“Uh oh.” She said. 

“Yeah, uh oh.” I said as I flopped on the couch. 

“Well no hold on. It could just be stress! You have like a million job offers coming at you and with Jared being so busy…” She said. 

“Yeah but I don’t just get sick in the mornings. You know me, I never throw up. Even when I have the flu.” I said pinching the bridge of my nose.

“Alright, so you are two weeks late. Let’s just run to the store and get some tests. No big deal and I bet you aren’t.” She said trying to sound positive. I got up and grabbed my purse. We headed to CVS and grabbed every brand available. I didn’t have to pee so I bought a ton of water and orange juice to try and speed up the process. About an hour after we got home, I ran to the bathroom and tried to space it out so I could do all six tests. We set them on the counter and waited. 

“What are you going to do if these are positive?” She asked. She knew I didn’t originally want kids. 

“I don’t know. I have so much going on right now and I am finally getting offers to do more on set than just assisting. I have offers for writing, assistant directing and even one for post editing. These are things I have worked so hard to get. But then again, being with Jared, it makes it not so scary that kids could happen.” I said. She nodded and smiled a bit. 

“Well, it’s been five minutes. You ready?” She asked. I nodded and we went back into the bathroom. I couldn’t even go to the counter. 

“I can’t look. Just tell me.” I said as I buried my face in my hands. Natalie looked at the tests and picked one up. She looked at me and gave me a half smile. 

“Their positive.” She said. My heart dropped and I started to cry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Get ready for a sad chapter next time. :(


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is going to be a sort of sad chapter coming up next, then a bit of a HIATUS. I am working on a Suicide Squad fan fiction that includes a new villain that I created. She joins the Suicide Squad with the rest of them. It is sort of my own interpretation of how the movie could go, but there will be major differences of course. But as always, it will be an eventual pairing of my OC and The Joker. With Harley Quinn still in the mix, which will make it interesting. Check it out! 
> 
> This story will continue in about a month after the next chapter. :)

Chapter 26: F.N.T

I sat on the kitchen floor with my legs crossed and head leaning against the steel fridge. I couldn’t believe I was pregnant. I took that stupid pill on time every single day. How would Jared take this? Would I keep the baby? Was I even ready to be a mother? I had job offers left and right and I was finally getting into the technical side of film. That was something I had been working for, for years. I shoved my spoon into the vegan chocolate ice cream container and piled the ice cream in my mouth. Just as I was going to wipe the chocolate off my mouth, I heard the front door open. I heard Jared drop his keys on the entry table and make his way through the house. 

“Mand? You here, babe?” He yelled. He made his way to the kitchen and chuckled when he saw me sitting on the floor eating ice cream. “Yum. Give me some.” He said as he sat across from me on the floor. He grabbed the container and started to dig in. He did a double take at my face and his smile dropped. 

“What’s wrong?” He asked dropping the spoon. I took a deep breath. Here we go. 

“I’m pregnant. I don’t know how, but I am.” I said as I shook my head. His face didn’t change. He stared at me for at least two minutes before I blinked. “Say something.” I said. He snapped out of it and sat back against the cabinets. 

“Okay. So what do we do?” He asked. “I mean, do you want to keep it?” He asked. 

“I don’t know. I mean I like kids, you like kids. But I didn’t think we wanted any of our own.” I said as I rubbed my temples. He put a hand on my knee. 

“I think we should keep it.” He said. I shot my head up. 

“What? You really want to?” I asked. He nodded and smiled. 

“Yeah. I think we would do a good job, don’t you?” He said. I smiled. 

“But J, you have a tour coming up this year, I have job offers left and right. How would it work?” I asked. 

“We would be fine. I highly doubt either of our mothers would pass up opportunities to help out with a baby.” He said smiling. 

“Okay, so we’re having a baby?”I said smiling. He nodded. I started to cry and he pulled me up into a hug on our knees. It wasn’t how I had planned out my life, but with Jared, I felt like anything was possible.   
_____________________________________________________________________________  
A couple weeks had passed. My morning sickness was a bitch and I didn’t know how I would live through the first few months of this. Jared and I had our first appointment in less than two hours. We went through the back entrance of the hospital. We were seeing a doctor who specialized in celebrity obstetrics. Jared insisted we do it this way so we could have ensured privacy. We waited in the large waiting area where we were seated across from Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds. Jared chatted with them as I smiled and pretended to be into the conversation. They called us back and they immediately lifted my shirt and put the goo on my belly. It was cold and gross but I was just excited to see the baby. 

“Looks like you are about six weeks along Mandy. Congratulations you two.” Doctor Stevens said. He was a younger man that looked nervous constantly. Jared kissed me and held tightly onto my hand. 

“Look at our little sea monkey.” I said as I started to tear up. Jared laughed and smiled at me. We left the doctor’s office and I was craving french fries so Jared ran into my favorite place and got me french fries. 

“French fries, extra ketchup. Lemonade with lavender seeds.” He said as he handed me the bag. I clapped with excitement. 

“Thanks babe. You get five gold stars.” I said as I started to eat. 

“So when do you think we should let everyone know?” He asked as he turned onto Sunset Boulevard. I shrugged. 

“Well Nat already knows. So I am assuming Shannon knows yes?” I asked. He nodded. 

“Yeah, he is way too excited. So now it’s really just my mom, your parents and your brother. We should fly your family out this month.” He said. I nodded.

“Yeah, I will call my mom tonight and talk to her about it. So listen, I accepted an editing job for the new Insidious film.” I said quietly. I knew he would freak out when he found out it was next month. 

“That’s awesome! When is that?” He asked. 

“Well filming wrapped last month so like in a few weeks....oh my god look they are tearing down that coffee shop we like!” I said trying to change the subject. 

“No way Mand. You don’t need that kind of stress with a kid on the way.” He said as we drove into our neighborhood. 

“Oh come on J, I am pregnant, not broken. The job is going to be done right here in Los Angeles and I have an awesome team behind me so the stress won’t be overwhelming.” I said as I shoved more fries into my mouth. 

“Okay but I want you to take it easy. What is the schedule looking like?” He asked. 

“Well they want it released in September so we have like six months. I have plenty of time before the baby. You are going to be on tour in a couple months so I will need something to do.” I said. 

“Maybe I should cancel it…” He said as we pulled up to the house. I shot him a look. 

“What? NO. You are going. You guys have been prepping for this for months. You’re going. I will be fine. Natalie will have tons more time on her hands with her new job. I will be okay. And you will be there for the delivery.” I said as I undid my seatbelt. I then noticed him smiling at me adoringly. 

“What?” I said as I wiped ketchup off of my mouth and took a sip of my lemonade. 

“You are perfect.” He said as he kissed me. 

“You are sweet. And now you have ketchup on your lips.” I said as I got out of the car. I dialed my mom’s phone number and walked in the house to the backyard. 

“Hi honey!” My mom said on the other line. 

“Hi mom. Listen, would you and dad want to fly out here in a couple weeks? And possibly bring Matthew and Tyra?”I asked. 

“Of course! You’re poor father is going stir crazy ever since he retired. And Matt and Tyra have vacation time coming up. I will ask them. Your dad and I will for sure come.” My mom said. We worked out the specifics and I hung up. 

“Well, they will be here two Fridays from now. Will your mom be free too?”I asked as I started eating some chips. I ate non stop now. And vomited non stop. 

“Yeah, she’ll be here. Vick and Tomo already know.” He said. 

“Yeah, Vicki texted me yesterday congratulating us.” I said as I shoved more chips in my mouth and sat on the counter.

“Jesus, are we going to have to get groceries every few days now?” He asked as he put his hands on either side of me. 

“We may have to. I am fucking starving constantly now. Which means this baby is hungry non stop.” I said, trying not to breathe sour cream and onion chips on him. 

“That’s my boy in there. Of course he is always hungry.” He said smiling and kissing me. He clearly didn’t care about my breath. 

“Boy huh? You are confident it’s a boy?” I asked. He nodded.

“Absolutely. Just watch.” He said as he winked at me and headed out the door to The Lab. I smiled to myself. I patted my still somewhat flat stomach.

“Yeah we will see.” I said.


	27. Closed Shades

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter will have a lot of flashbacks. It's a little bit of a five month time jump and the flashbacks go over stuff that had happened recently. This will be a bit of a HIATUS like I had said. I have a lot of plans for continuing so add me to your bookmarks so you guys know when it starts up again. :)

Chapter 27: Closed Shades

I closed my eyes and turned my head away from the annoying nurse who was trying to force me to eat. I had been in a hospital bed for two weeks now. Part of me didn’t want to be awake, but another part of me hated being asleep. The nightmares made sleeping hard. I kept seeing his face. That sweet little face. 

“Jared, I am six months pregnant. How could you do this?” I asked him as I sobbed through the telephone. 

“I am so sorry Mandy. You know I don’t normally drink. I had no idea what I was doing. I swear I just kissed her. It will never happen again Mandy, you know I love YOU. You know these tours can get crazy, but I would never intentionally hurt you. I feel like I cheated on you.” He said quietly. 

“You did cheat on me. Any type of physical or mental connection to someone else while you are with someone else IS cheating. I have to go. I need to think.” I said.

“Mandy please. Just stay put, I am coming home. So we can talk about this.” He said as he sounded like he was crying. 

“No, please don’t come home. I really just need to clear my head.” I said. I hung up the phone before he could protest. I took a deep breath and started to sob even harder. I was six months pregnant with our son and he does this. I knew going into this that Jared was a ladies man and coming out of that might be hard. But it doesn’t excuse it. I saw the tabloid this morning and it felt like my heart sank to my stomach. 30 Seconds to Mars was in New Jersey doing a show and I saw an article picture of Jared locking lips with some NY based model. She was skinny, tall and perfect. I was a blimp. Jared looked wasted in the picture. But still. 

I grabbed my car keys and headed out the door. I needed to go for a drive. I put my seat belt on and drove through our neighborhood towards the California hills. I leaned my head on my hand that was rested on my window. Jared and I had always been honest with each other and the fact that I had to read about his mistake on the internet was awful. I wiped away a tear and before I could take a scattered breath in, I saw the headlights to my right coming fast. 

I shook my head of the memory. I was hit by a drunk driver at 8:03pm on a Saturday night. My car was totaled. I broke two ribs and my left arm. But nothing compared to what I had lost. 

“Ms. Morrison, we are sad to tell you that you’re baby didn’t survive the crash. The trauma was too great. You yourself are lucky to be alive. We just want you to rest and take it easy. You still have two broken ribs and a broken arm. Take care of yourself.” The doctor said. Jared looked down at the ground and shut his eyes. I am assuming the doctor had told him first since I have been unconcious. I felt like my body lifted up out of the bed and exploded into a million pieces. I took a deep breath and felt around my stomach. He wasn’t there anymore. My little baby boy wasn’t there. He was innocent in all of this. And because his father and I were acting like teenagers, he was gone.   
“I am so sorry Mr. Leto.” The doctor said as he exited the room. I couldn’t look at Jared. 

“Mandy. Babe, I am so sorry. This is all my fault.” He said as he got down on his knees and looked up at me. I turned slightly. 

“Jared I need you to leave. I can’t do this. Your life is a particular way and I can’t get in the way of that. At this point, I just can’t...He’s gone because of us.” I said as I started to cry. He grabbed my hands. 

“No Mandy please. I would give all of this up for you. I don’t need this life. I don’t want it if it means I can’t have you. He was my son too Mandy. It hurts me too.” He said as a tear slid down his face. I yanked my hands away. 

“Please Jared just go. I can’t see you right now.” I said as I cried. He nodded slowly.

“I love you Mandy. I will wait forever if I have to.” He said as he left. 

I hadn’t seen him in a week. I was being released in two days. I was healing but still not all the way. Natalie was picking me up and letting me stay with her. She had packed a bag for me already. 

I missed Jared. I missed him more than I could describe. But the way things are with him I just couldn’t agree to it anymore. I didn’t even care about the girl. I knew he loved me. But the life I had signed on for was too much. I lost something I could never get back. Although it wasn’t Jared’s fault or mine, I still felt responsible. Jared had been sending flowers everyday since the day I made him leave. According to the medical director at the hospital, he paid for my medical expenses in full already. He didn’t need to. I could take care of myself. 

I rubbed my belly and felt numb. I had gotten so excited about our baby. This could have been a sign that I wasn’t meant to be a mother but it still broke my heart. I was ready for him. I read all of the baby books I could. I had his room ready. I was ready to be a mommy. Now, I wouldn’t be.


	28. Colors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mandy has lost the baby. Can she move on from that? Or will she blame Jared forever?

A couple days had passed. The hospital had set me up with a therapist that specialized in fetal loss. I didn't say much to her but she did talk me through the pain I felt. I had told her I didn't even really want kids to begin with so the sadness didn't make sense. She told me it didn't matter. I guess she was right. 

It was time for me to be discharged from the hospital. Jared had offered to take me home but I told him no. I told him just leave me be for a while. His voice sounded heartbroken on the other line when I told him, but he obliged. Just as the nurse had helped me get changed into normal clothes, Natalie walked in. 

"Hey babe. How are you feeling today?" She asked as she helped me put my shoes on. 

"I'm okay. I'm just ready to move forward. My ribs hurt pretty bad but there is not much the doctors can do about that." I said as I winced when I put my arm brace back on. 

"I'm so sorry Mand. I know you were excited." Natalie said, trying to fight back tears. 

"It's okay. It wasn't meant to be." I said back. "I just want to heal so I can get back to work." I said. Natalie sighed. "What?" I asked. 

"About that. Some shit is going down with Squad. They are putting production on hold." She said. 

"What? Why?" I asked. 

"There are some issues with the first installment or something. I don't know details but your boss Lee said he would come by today and fill you in. So let's get you home because I already gave him my address and he said he would be by tonight." She said as she grabbed my bag. I nodded. She helped me to the car and the painkillers luckily had started to kick in. I walked into her apartment and sat on the couch slowly. With my broken ribs, I could only sit in one position. Natalie had made me some tea and as I sat there to drink, I checked my phone. Jared had texted a few times asking how I was. I know Natalie had probably filled in Shannon so I am sure Jared knew I was out of the hospital. Just then the doorbell rang. Natalie answered it and Lee came in with flowers. 

"Hey Mandy. How you feeling love?" Lee said as he sat across from me. 

"I'm better. So what's going on with the film?" I asked. Lee nodded. He knew I didn't want to talk about the accident. 

"So our final cut only included 45% of Jared's scenes. He is not happy about it and neither are the fans. So as of now, Jared is in the process of negotiating with Warner Bros. They don't want to lose him. But we were thinking maybe you could talk to him. Margot has even signed on with WB to do a Harley Quinn stand alone film and Jared isn't sure if he wants to do it." Lee explained. I sighed. 

"I don't think I will be able to do that, Lee." I said hesitantly. 

"Come on Mandy. He will listen to you." Lee begged. I rolled my eyes. 

"Fine. I will talk to him." I said. Lee sighed in relief. 

"Thank you Mandy. We owe you one. Speaking of, would you be interested in assisting Margot in the stand alone? Six month contract and signing bonus?" Lee waged. 

"Alright sure. Type it up and I will sign on." I said. Lee got up and kissed me on the cheek. 

"You're the best Mandy. We will be in touch." Lee said as he left. I pulled the card out of the flowers and everyone at the WB studio had signed it. I smiled slightly. I pulled out my phone and dialed Jared. 

"Hey." Jared answered. 

"Hey, can you come over? I gotta talk to you about something." I asked. 

"Yeah, I am in a meeting with Gucci right now but I will be over soon. You at Natalie's?" He asked. 

"Okay, I will see you there. Bye." Jared said. He sounded sad. I hung up and called out for Natalie. She came rushing in the main room. 

"He's coming over." I said. 

"Want me to stay?" She asked. I shook my head no. "Okay, call me if you need ANYTHING okay? I love you." She said as she hugged me. 

"Love you too." I said. She left and just as she was leaving, Jared walked in. He a Starbucks coffee cup in his hand. 

"Got you one. I figured you would want one." He handed it to me and I took a sip. Pumpkin Spice Latte. My favorite. 

"Listen, I got a visit from Lee today. Why didn't you tell me about the shit going on with Squad?" I asked. 

"I didn't want to stress you out." He replied. 

"I get that. But you should have told me. I know that WB screwed you over. I know how hard you worked on it. But I really don't think you should pass up Margot's production. She is one of the producers on it and she will see to it that your work doesn't go to waste." I said. He pinched the bridge of his nose. 

"You want me to do this?" He asked.

"Well yeah. You are the face of The Joker now. It wouldn't be the same without you. You and Margot have crazy chemistry and you both pull of the characters so well. I think you should do this. As for Squad II, they are wanting to do the stand alone this year. So this will be a test. If they do it right, I would sign for Squad II." I said. 

"Okay. I will do it. For you." Jared replied. I looked down at my coffee. 

"Don't do it for me. Do it for you. And the fans." I said. 

"Do you know how sorry I am?" Jared said in a sad voice. 

"Yeah I do. But I am just not ready yet for this to go back to the way it was. You really hurt me. And after the baby..." I continued trying to hold tears back. 

"I know I know and I am so sorry. I was an idiot. I would do anything for you." He said as he took one of my hands into his. 

"Okay. But this has to go slow. Not to mention, production for the Harley film is starting in a month. I should be healed by then." I said. 

"Wait, are you working on that one?" He asked. 

"Yeah Margot had requested me. I took the offer." I said. 

"That's great but should you go back to work so soon after...?" He shut up quick. 

"Yeah I can't sit here forever. I'll be fine." I replied. He nodded. 

"You can move back home whenever you want, you know that right?" He said. 

"I know. I'm not ready just yet. We are taking it slow remember?" I reminded him. He nodded. "Hey can you pass me the remote? It's Always Sunny is coming on." I said. He handed me the remote and I turned on the channel. It was hard not to laugh too hard at the show. Jared sat there with me for a while and catered to my injured self. I had forgiven him. But it would be awhile before I would forget.


	29. Crystalized

The next week was kind of a blur. Jared was trying so hard to regain my trust and to take care of me while I was trying to recover from two broken ribs and a broken arm. I really did want to forgive him completely. The truth was is that I really missed him. And after losing the baby I felt like I really needed him. But I was starting to to the fact that maybe it just wasn't meant to be.

It was Monday morning and I had a meeting with Warner Brothers. I was still in pain from my ribs, but I had to get out of Natalie's apartment. I was meeting with Lee and a couple other of the producers that were in charge of production. I knew that if I was going to work on Margot Robbie's stand-alone film we're going to have to convince me. I really wanted to do it for Margo butt I just wasn't sure if I wanted to be working with Jared again.

"Listen Mandy, we really want you on board again. Margo was extremely impressed with your work and she even was talking about using you as someone other than a personal assistant." Lee said. I sat across from him looking confused.

"What is she wanting me to do set?" I asked curiously. 

"She wants you to be in charge of the final cut. We were told by some outside sources that editing is a...gift of yours." Matt, one of the producers, said. 

"Whoa guys that is a pretty big responsibility. And to be quite honest I don't know if I'm that good." I said modestly.

"We have actually been looking into some of your work. And I was able to get my hands on your portfolio. It is very impressive work. You hadn't mentioned your editing with the films you have done. Successful films I might add." Lee boasted. 

"Yeah but..." I objected. I was flattered but my confidence level was shit at the moment. 

"Mandy. We believe in you. You did a fantastic job on set last year. You have an amazing resume. I know you have been through a lot recently. Lee filled us in." Keri, another producer, said in a sweet voice. I eyed Lee. He shrugged innocently in an apologetic way. 

"We would be willing to get you a down payment of $500,000. Once post is wrapped, one mil. You would have three months to come up with the final cut." Matt said. My heart skipped a beat. This would be my highest salary to date. 

"Would I be onsite?" I asked. 

"Yes, we have a suite booked for you here at the studio. The best equipment." Matt said. 

"I use Avid, is that available?" I asked. They all three nodded. I thought for a moment. I thought they would all three fall out of their seats. 

"Okay, I will do it." I said. Matt smiled. I signed my contract and left. I wouldn't be a part of the shoot but I would be in charge of the final cut. This had been my dream since I was a teenager. I got my cell out and dialed Jared. As far as I knew, he had an off day today. 

"Hey you." He answered. I rolled my eyes. 

"Hey. Mind if I stop by?" I asked. 

"Sure, come on over." He said in a chipper voice. I hung up and got into my car. I started towards Jared's place and got caught in my thoughts. As much as I wanted to kiss him over and over, I couldn't trust him yet. I knew that much. I pulled up and went through the gate. I got out and knocked on the door. He answered with a confused look. 

"You know this is still your house too right?" He pointed out. I nodded slightly. I walked in and sat down. "What's going on?" He asked. 

"I signed on to be the post editor for the Harley final cut. Which means I won't be going to Canada for those shots." I said. He looked sad but happy. It was an odd combination. 

"That's great Mand! You'll do an amazing job." He said as he reached out and clutched my hand. I slightly pulled away and he sighed heavily. "Will you ever forgive me?" He asked with sad eyes. 

"I am trying Jared. I really am. I still love you. I always will, I think. I just need time to get back into that." I said. He nodded. 

"Okay. I can wait." He said smiling. "You hungry?" He asked. 

"Always." I said smiling slightly. "But I don't want to go anywhere. My ribs are hurting bad today." I said as I laid on the chaise. 

"I can go get something. What do you feel like?" He asked. 

"You don't have to do that. It's your only day off for like two weeks." I said. 

"No it's fine. What do you want?" He asked again. 

"Veggie Grill?" I asked. He rolled his eyes. 

"You and your Veggie Grill. Buffalo Chick'n Sandwich?" He asked. I nodded. He smiled and walked out. He knew everything about me. I knew everything about him. I knew we were supposed to be together. I just had to figure out how to trust him again.


	30. Coming Down

Warner Brothers had decided to film Harley's standalone film in New York City instead of Canada. Jared had asked me three times already if I would go with him. I still wasn't sure. It's not like I would be working, I wouldn't start working until filming had wrapped. Going with him felt like a big step. On the other hand, I wanted to go because if I wanted it to work with him I had to make an effort. Jared had already started going through the process of being "Jokerfied". He had to go around with bleach blonde hair for about a month then a few days ago, he went full green. Mr. J was back. Jared was struggling to get into character but also treat me respectfully. I told him I didn't mind but he said he felt like he was still in the "dog house" so he had to behave. We still hadn't been physical yet. I could tell he was getting restless but I wasn't ready. Not just from what he did but from...the other incident. My ribs were fully healed as well as my arm but I was faking some pain so I didn't feel obligated. I had moved back into Jared's house but I was in my own room for now. He didn't like it but I reminded him to be patient with me. 

Shannon and Natalie were getting pretty serious. Natalie had moved in with Shannon a few weeks ago. That was a big step for her. When Vince had said he wanted to move in with her a few years back, she completely freaked out. The only reason she agreed is because he said he would pay for her half of our rent. So I was very proud of her for taking that step with Shannon so willingly. I was packing my suitcase as Natalie laid on my bed with her phone above her head. She tried to scroll down and instead dropped it on her face. She cursed a bit as I tried to hold back a laugh. 

"So how long will you be gone then?" She asked me for the hundredth time. 

"About three months. Then I fly back here and work on my cut." I said. She nodded as she sat up. 

"Is it just you?" She asked. I shook my head no. 

"Nope. I have about three other big time editors that will be looking to me to be the lead. I am kinda nervous." I said as I folded some shirts. 

"Don't be. I have seen your portfolio and you have a gift of vision. Your final products are always amazing." She said. I smiled. 

"Thanks." I said. 

"Don't mention it." She said back. Natalie was different now that she met Shannon. She wasn't her foul mouthed self nearly as much. Just as I started to zip up my suitcase, Shannon came tearing through my room and tackled Natalie on my bed. They started shoving their tongues at each other. 

"Dude, not on my bed." I said smiling. I saw Jared walking towards me. With everything that had happened and how long we had been together, I still got butterflies around him. 

"Almost ready?" He asked. I nodded. 

"Yeah. What time do we leave tomorrow?" I asked. 

"Bright and early. We have to be at the airport at like 5:30 am." He said. I groaned. I looked up and saw that Jared's eyebrows were shaven off. I stroked his cheek and smiled. 

"I kinda missed him." I said. His eyes lit up a bit. He slowly put a hand on my lower back. 

"Well he missed you." He whispered in my ear. It was strange that we talked about The Joker like he was a separate entity. But to us, he was. Jared took my suitcase and walked out of my room with it. Natalie and Shannon were on their way to The Lab to work on some songs with Tomo. Jared had to pass because of it being so late. Once everyone had left, I decided to head to the bathroom to wash my face. I splashed the water on my face and put my hair into a messy ponytail. I washed away the day and saw Jared standing behind me. 

"I'm really happy you are coming with me. Are you sure you are okay with staying in separate apartments?" He asked. Jared and I both agreed that we should be separate because he needed to be in solitude, or rather The Joker did. I was fine with it, I still wasn't ready to share a bed with him. Shana booked us apartments that were literally right across from each other so it wouldn't be too inconvenient. 

"Yeah. You have to focus and I don't want to be a distraction. I will be right across the hall, so if you need me I am right there." I said smiling slightly. He nodded. 

"Okay well, I am gonna go to bed. Good night." He said as he turned to go to his bedroom. 

"Wait." I said calling after him. He turned, confused. "Stay with me tonight?" I asked. His face softened. 

"Yeah." He said in a sweet voice. 

"I'm still not...I can't..." I said. He nodded. 

"I know." He said back. He understood what I was trying to say. We both got into my bed and I snuggled into his arm. I wrapped my arm around him and quickly fell asleep. I forgot how safe I felt when I slept with him.


	31. Ghost

Jared and I had landed in a very gloomy New York City. As soon as we got outside the airport I wanted to take a nap. Jared had a meeting with David Ayer and a few others that day so I had already planned to be as lazy as possible. We got to our private building and Shana got us to our apartments. 

"If you need anything Mandy, just give me a buzz." She said smiling. I nodded. She headed towards the stairs while talking to someone on her cell. 

"I should be back later tonight. Dinner?" He asked. 

"Yeah, okay. I'm just gonna sleep a bit. I feel so tired." I said as I rubbed my temple. He looked at me with a concerned expression. 

"You okay?" He asked. 

"Oh yeah, just tired. I'll see you tonight." I said as I kissed his cheek. He smiled slightly and followed Shana. I took my key and opened the apartment door and I was surprised at how big it was. I didn't need this much space. I plopped my bag down and headed to the fridge. I pulled out a fancy mineral water and headed to the upstairs loft. The bed was huge and a sea of white. I face planted into the pillows and immediately fell asleep. 

When I woke up, it was night. I saw the bright lights of NYC peaking in my bedroom window and I smiled. I had always loved New York. My parents had taken my brother and I once and it was one of the happiest times of my life. I looked at my phone and saw a few texts. 

MOM: Hi honey. How are you? I feel like I never talk to you anymore, ever since, your accident. 

JARED: Hey, almost done. You ready?   
JARED: ???

I wrote my mom back quickly telling her I would call later. I started to write Jared back when I heard him come in the front door. I knew Shana had probably given him a key to my temporary apartment. She knew how protective he was. He was in a blue plaid shirt and jeans. He looked so good. I was changing into a pair of jeans when he came in. He immediately darted his eyes at me. I didn't mind torturing him. I shoved on a pair of black boots and zipped up my jacket.

"You ready?" He asked. I nodded. 

"Yeah. I'm starving." I said. 

"What do you feel like?" He asked. 

"I don't care." I said. He nodded and we ended up a little cafe a few blocks away. 

"So how was the meeting?" I asked as I took a bite of my sandwich. 

"It was alright. Hopefully they won't jerk me around this time." He replied. I nodded. 

"I don't think they will. There was a huge uproar from the fans about you not having enough screentime so I don't think they will make the same mistake." I said. He nodded. 

"We can hope. You excited to do the final cut?" He asked. My stomach dropped. It could be that they make me cut Jared out a lot just like Squad. I couldn't do that to him. But I had plenty of time to contemplate. 

"Yeah. It will be a big step forward." I said. "I'm a little nervous though. I'm scared I won't make the cut, so to speak." I said. He put his hand on mine. 

"You will do great. Don't stress about it." He said as he lifted my hand and kissed it. I smiled. We got done eating and started walking back. Jared had an arm around me and just as I was going to wrap an arm around his waist, I heard someone call my name. I turned around and saw Cory Smith. I had not seen him since we wrapped my season of Gotham. I turned and smiled. 

"Hey Cory!" I said. He came up and gave me a big hug. Jared shot him a look. 

"I haven't seen you in forever! How have you been?" He asked. 

"I've been alright. You back in town for Gotham?" I asked. 

"Yep, back at the grind. You coming back any time soon?" He asked. 

"No they asked me but I already signed on for another project." I said. I felt Jared grab my hand and tug gently. Cory looked at him shortly and turned back to me. 

"Well I will let you get back to it. It was good seeing you! I would love to catch up soon! How long are you here?" Cory asked. 

"Not long" Jared said roughly. I quickly jumped in. 

"Just a couple months. Yeah just let me know when you are free, you still have my number?" I asked. I felt Jared tighten his grip. Cory nodded. 

"Yeah I will text you soon. See you around Mandy!" Cory said as he started walking with his group. Jared all but pulled me to our building. We got into the elevator and he growled. 

"What the hell was that?" Jared asked. I sighed. 

"He is just a friend. A good friend. He sent me flowers when I was in the hospital." I said. Jared widened his eyes. 

"Oh and that makes him just a friend huh?" He said. I rolled my eyes. 

"Are you jealous?" I asked. He ran a hand through his green hair. 

"Yeah. How could I not be?" He asked. 

"Because I do not cheat. Which is more than I can say for you." I said as we got to our floor. I stormed into my apartment and shut my door. I locked it and heart him lightly tap his head on my door in frustration. 

"I'm sorry, I just..." He started. 

"I just wanna be a lone tonight Jared. I will see you tomorrow." I said. I heard him sign in defeat and open his own apartment door. This wasn't going to be easy. I really was trying to do this because God knew how much I loved him. I wanted to get over everything. I just didn't know how.


	32. Pet

I woke up the next morning with a bouquet of flowers sitting next to my bed with a note attached. I smelled the flowers briefly and grabbed the note. 

I'm sorry about last night. I am trying to figure out how to do this.- J

I knew what he meant. I knew that Jared took his work very seriously. Seriously didn't even cover it. It is one of the things I loved about him. But sometimes it was his curse. He would take a role so seriously that he would lose himself. He knew that this was a problem especially now that we were trying to figure things out yet still get him through this film. I didn't want to be that woman. The type of woman that demanded he put me first and only. I shook my head and started to work my way out of bed. I took a shower and put on some jeans and a shirt. I figured I could waste the day and shop. 

I went to all kinds of stores and didn't buy much. I got bored and decided to go visit Jared on set. I took a cab to the studio and texted Shana to let her know I was on my way. She texted back saying Jared was filming but he would be done shortly. She told me I was welcome to wait in his trailer and she would leave my name at the front. Once I finally got in, I went on the hunt for Jared's trailer. Once I found it, I walked inside. It was all messy which didn't surprise me. I sat down on the couch and noticed Jared's cell phone next to me. I sighed in frustration and contemplated. I couldn't not trust him forever. But at the same time, I couldn't just sit here and let him do what he does to me. I picked up the phone and scrolled through his pictures. Nothing out of the ordinary. I saw random pictures of Shannon and Tomo, Terry Richardson, fans and mountains. I decided to look through his texts. My stomach dropped before I even clicked the messages icon. I saw three new texts from someone named Ashley Halsey. I recognized the last name but only as a singer that I actually liked. I looked through and my anger flared. 

Ashley: I'm in NYC this week, wanna meet up?  
Jared: Not sure, filming is crazy this time.   
Ashley: Yeah I hear ya. Don't wanna distract you too much ;-)  
Jared: Haha yeah. I should tell you that I am involved with someone.   
Ashley: ohhh. okay that's cool. I understand. It was fun while it lasted I guess

And that was it. What was fun? How did Jared know Halsey? I didn't even think he knew her. My blood boiled. This is was getting old. How many times would I have to catch him in the act before I would finally wake up? I slammed Jared's phone onto the ground and I bolted out of the trailer. I walked as fast as I could back to the front desk. The guard called me a cab and I headed back to my apartment. I was going to pack my shit and leave. I fought back the tears and just embraced the anger I felt.


	33. Lights

I sat on the couch in my apartment. I didn't feel at home here. I didn't even know this place. More than ever, I wished I was in my old apartment. With Natalie talking shit on some actress on TV and laughing. I started to cry as I thought about everything I had been through with this man. I thought about the first time I saw him. How madly in love I was even thought I didn't even know him. As I started cry even more, I heard Jared knocking on my door. I wiped my tears quickly. 

"It's open." I said softly, but loud enough for him to hear. He came in and sat down next to me. 

"Hey, what's wrong?" He said in a concerned tone. 

"When did you have a thing with Halsey?" I asked as I turned to look at him. His facial expression faded. 

"You and I weren't together Mandy. It was just a fling. We are just friends, I swear." He said. 

"So when you and I are on the outs, you're just gonna do whoever you can?" I asked. He shook his head. 

"No of course not. Without you Mandy, I am nothing. I have nothing. I was lost. But it will never happen again. Because I am not letting you go." He said sternly. I shut my eyes and looked at my shaking hands. I nodded and stood up. "Where are you going?" He asked. 

"I just have to think. I have to figure out if I can even do this." I said as I grabbed my jacket. 

"What is there to think about?" He demanded. 

"Jared, you're...you. Rock star with a background as Hollywood's sex symbol. How can I ask you to give that up?" I asked. He sighed in frustration. 

"I don't have to give anything up except the single life. And I am fine with that if it means I get you." He said. I started to cry harder. I turned around and opened the door to leave. He tried to say something but I left. I needed to think. I walked down the the cold NYC streets with my arms folded. My hair flew around my face and hood. I saw a coffee shop and headed in. I felt I could use a jolt. As I stood in line, I felt someone tap me on the shoulder. I turned to see a familiar face. It was Halsey, I didn't know her actual name. She was much prettier in person. 

"Hi, Mandy right?" She said smiling. I smiled back, not wanting to be rude. But at the same time the rage started to boil. 

"Yeah." I said lightly.

"Hi, i'm Ashley. I am one of Jared's friends." She said sweetly. 

"I know who you are." I said with an edge. I didn't mean to, but it came out that way. She sighed. 

"Listen, I don't know what you heard, but the thing with Jared and I is over. I ended it pretty quick." She said. 

"Why?" I asked immediately. 

"Well to be honest, he did nothing but talk about you. He's nuts about you." She said. My heart skipped. I smiled slightly. "Hang onto him. He's a keeper." She said sincerely. 

"I will." I said nodding. 

"Well it was good to meet you finally." She said as she walked away with her coffee. I smiled as she walked out of the coffee shop and I looked at the barista. 

"Ma'am? What can I get you?" She asked. I smiled and ran out of the door. I ran down the NYC streets as quickly as I could. I wanted to get back to him. I ran inside his apartment and saw him sitting on the couch with head in his hands. He shot his face up and ran to me. He pulled me into a hug and I hugged him back. 

"I love you." I said. 

"I love you too." He said into my hair. "Which is why I want to ask you something." He said as he pulled away. He lowered himself on to one knee and I felt like I would pass out. He pulled a diamond ring out of his back pocket and it glimmered off his green hair. "Mandy Morrison, will you marry me?" He asked. I smiled. 

"Yes." I said calmly. The answer didn't require effort on my part. He smiled and shot back up to kiss me. Somehow I knew this was it. My happily ever after.

SIX MONTHS LATER 

JARED LETO MARRIES GIRLFRIEND, MANDY MORRISON IN MALIBU!!!  
TMZ.com

Reports are circulating that Jared Leto, 45, married his girlfriend Mandy Morrison, 30, last week in their Malibu beach house. Sources say the ceremony was very small. Leto met Morrison on the set of Suicide Squad back in 2015. Leto has been quite busy in between touring with his band 30 Seconds to Mars and filming Suicide Squad 2. Morrison has also been working her cute tail off as post production lead for DC Comics. Congrats to them! 

UPDATE: Leto confirmed on his personal Instagram page today that he and Morrison are expecting! Double congrats! 

 

 

THE END

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is end for this story! For now...;-)
> 
> I will be focusing on my Harley Quinn/Joker story, Suicide Squad Origins: Harley Quinn. Then once the new year hits, I will be coming back to Suicide Squad Origins: Luna Cee. Check them out! :)


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